http://blogs.fullhyderabad.com/showblog.php?blogId=457 Tips on being better informed about your partner before you get married W hen we disagree on something, it can easily turn into an argument. When you begin arguing, it means you could be misunderstanding the other person.      A rguments happen when each person is trying to put his point across and wants the other person to listen to him. It is only when people share thoughts and listen to each other, that a discussion takes place.      S ilence during an argument can most easily be misinterpreted.      S imple misunderstandings could be the root of all frustrations.      A rguments can get worse depending on the tone of voice used. Because in arguments, sometimes, it is not what you say but how you say it that paves the way for further damage.       A rguments take place when we do not take the ownership of a problem, in a way blame the other person for the problem      G etting into details in an argument could mean a diversion from the actual problem.      A rguments happen when we do not agree with what's on the other person's mind .      A rguments should not be about who is right or wrong but should be about how it is ended.      A rguments are nothing about the topic most of the times, they move on to personal preferences and underlying emotional needs that have not been taken care of.      O nce we start arguing, we start blaming, complaining, accusing, finding fault and resenting.      W hen arguments get out of hand, we tend to vent out our frustrations and this damages the relationship further.      S ometimes arguing can ease the tension between you and your partner. Especially, when you are sure that your partner will not hold things against you or will not love you less for the way you feel.      D o not negotiate during an argument, but find a later peaceful time to do so.       A gree to disagree on some things.      I f approached properly, arguments can actually clear the air and help in a better relationship . http://blogs.fullhyderabad.com/showblog.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=2758&blogId=457 Mon, 12 Feb 2007 15:26:52 +0000 T oday we live in a time where marriage is not predictable and lasting. Social taboos no longer insist that the marriage needs to continue in spite of the odds. Relationships are now based on open-hearted choices, and emotional forces between the husband and wife play a larger role in keeping the marriage going.      T here is no perfect relationship because there are no perfect people.      N othing on this earth can turn your partner into the person you want him or her to be.       N othing or no one can guarantee to keep your marriage together. Each and every one has to work towards keeping it going.       M arriage does not automatically sort problems for you.        B eing in love will not automatically sort out the problems for you.        Y ou are responsible for your own happiness. If you think that your partner is going to make you happy after you get married, you are wrong. You cannot expect someone else to make you happy.        M arriage is not like the wedding party or honeymoon - pure bliss. Focus and plan for your life after the wedding as much as you plan for the wedding day itself.      F ind out about how life is going to be after the wedding. Because that is  reality and what life is really going to be about.        Y ou cannot live on love without information      F ind out everything about your partner's lifestyle, family, health, financial status, hobbies, personality quirks, and anything that strikes you.        A sk questions about everything you can think of and do not be afraid to hear something you do not want to hear.       Y ou may not get perfect answers but you will get an idea of what life is going to be like.      A nswers to all little questions may at times make you change your mind about your partner or the wedding.       T hinking helps us arrange the various details in our mind. But it is our feelings that make the choice for us and this automatically leads to the decision.       D o not ignore your real feelings by being caught up in the wedding preparation.           Y ou have to be selfless and do things for your partner.      B e prepared to make adjustments to make the marriage work.      Y ou are not responsible for yourself alone after you get married. You have to think of your partner too.        Y our ups and down will increase two-fold. You have those of your partner too.       W hen you look for someone else in your partner, it could be the beginning of your troubles.      P roblems do not break up relationships. It is your approach to the problems that make the difference.      I ssues that you have not sorted out before your marriage will not automatically get sorted out after marriage. You have to work on them and sort them out.       S ome of us unconsciously become more rigid. We are so scared of losing out on our identity that we hold on more firmly to what we believe in.       W hen you move from one relationship to another, things are not going to be dramatically different because you are still taking yourself with you wherever you go. Unless you see things differently, things are not going to work out differently for you. http://blogs.fullhyderabad.com/showblog.php?op=ViewArticle&articleId=2757&blogId=457 Mon, 12 Feb 2007 15:15:27 +0000