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Germany, Free Education In Germany, Austria, Belgium, Norway, Finland.

Dear students, we have our associates All places in Hyderabad, Vijayawada, Visakhapatnam, Thirupati, Wagangal, Chennai, Bangalore, Delhi, Mumbai, Coimbatore, Cochin, Trivandrum ........., please call us to know your nearest consultant.
Note: please don"t encourage our consultants with your precious initial payments, as a rule we charge only after your admission.

This is Sunil Reddy Mallela.
I have completed my masters degree in computer sciences from HEIDELBERG UNIVERSITY, GERMANY. I am working now, as a consultant for a number of consultants who are widely known for their reputation in Hyderabad.

Actually, I have started this blog initially in 2008. This was the first blog to educate the students about studies in Germany and Europe. The idea behind posting a blog was to interact with more no. Of students as this is the best social networking in day today life. And the content can be discussed easily with a large number of friends and thus check out the GENUINE in it.

But, unfortunately after i have placed my blog, some of consultants have copied this idea of posting the blog and a few, i found, have copied my blog itself.

I have now updated this blog to give a complete idea of education in Germany
Some people don”t know anything about Germany and other countries in Europe but they make you believe that they are the best in Hyderabad.

Advantages with my consultancy:

9+ years experience in free education.
I accept only eligible applications, i don”t want to waste your precious time.
No initial payments(no hidden cost).
Expertise in free education, Scholarships and PhD.
* Time taken for admission : 2-3 months
Intake timings: MAR/APR and SEP/OCT.
Students should have at least 60%(4years degree) in final degree.

* Courses offered:
MS in computer science, multimedia, networking technologies,Geo Informatics, Bio Informatics.

Masters in electronics,Embedded Systems, RF Integrated Circuits, Digital Signal Processing, Chip Design, Communication,STM,Power Electronics,Automation,Energy Engineering.

Mechanical and Process Engineering, Mechatronics,Production, Material Science, automobile.

Bio Technology, Bio science, Bio Medical Engineering, Process Engineering, Energy Technology, Environmental, Water Resources, Chemical Engineering,

For 3 year Graduates: International Business, Marketing, Finance(B.com and BBA with 65%)

EDUCATION with 900 Euros SCHOLARSHIP.
Time taken for admission : 2-3 months
* Intake timings: MARCH/ APRIL and SEPT/OCT.
* Students should have a minimum of 75% in their final degree course (4 years).
* Courses offered : MS in computer science, Masters in electronics, EEE,Mechanical.
Required IELTS score -6.5 /TOEFL.
If you are financially poor my consultancy charges will be 0 (ONLY FOR SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAMS).

AFTER THE ADMISSION.

~Visa process and documentation are very sensitive for Germany. You need experienced person to guide for your visa process.
~Your financial condition should be good to process for your application.
~At the time of visa you need to show 7800 euros bank DD or same euros in student blocked account. Without bank DD getting visa is highly impossible.
~Student work permit will be only 20hr per/week (Tax free).

PLEASE NOTE

~ Studies in Germany are the best compared to US and GBR.
~VISA process is case sensitive.
~No immigration process is open in Germany.After your bachelors or masters they issue only one year job search visa please mind it.

HOW DO I REPORT CRIME:

This blog is designed only for genuine student service. Recently i heard of so many cheating cases, if you are a victim, you can compliant to Hyderabad police at

http://cyberabadpolice.gov.in/howdo...

Regards
Osmium free education consultancy.
M.Sunil reddy
Kothapeta-Hyderabad
Sunilreddy1212@yahoo.com
ph:9959560679. contact after 10am-6pm.

Note: If you have any query feel free to contact us on 0091-9959560679 or you can send an sms with your brief details. Due to huge mails i can't post any reply for each and every single response. Please kindly co-operate.

Hyperion Training

Can anyone over here suggest a good Hyperion Training Institute in Hyderabad. We (3) are from Delhi and want to come down to Hyd for Hyperion Training for a week. Appreciate if anyone of you cud suggest.

Also would appreciate if anyone cud give the feedback for the institute GEE Soft for Hyperion Training.

Thanks & regards
rans1912@gmail.com

Free Education in Germany, Austria, Belgium, Norway, Finland, Swiss

Dear students, we have our associates All places in Hyderabad, Vijayawada, Visakhapatnam, Thirupati, Wagangal, Chennai, Bangalore, Delhi, Mumbai, Coimbatore, Cochin, Trivandrum ........., please call us to know your nearest consultant.
Note: please don"t encourage our consultants with your precious initial payments, as a rule we charge only after your admission.

This is Sunil Reddy Mallela.
I have completed my masters degree in computer sciences from HEIDELBERG UNIVERSITY, GERMANY. I am working now, as a consultant for a number of consultants who are widely known for their reputation in Hyderabad.

Actually, I have started this blog initially in 2008. This was the first blog to educate the students about studies in Germany and Europe. The idea behind posting a blog was to interact with more no. Of students as this is the best social networking in day today life. And the content can be discussed easily with a large number of friends and thus check out the GENUINE in it.

But, unfortunately after i have placed my blog, some of consultants have copied this idea of posting the blog and a few, i found, have copied my blog itself.

I have now updated this blog to give a complete idea of education in Germany
Some people don”t know anything about Germany and other countries in Europe but they make you believe that they are the best in Hyderabad.

Advantages with my consultancy:

9+ years experience in free education.
I accept only eligible applications, i don”t want to waste your precious time.
No initial payments(no hidden cost).
Expertise in free education, Scholarships and PhD.
* Time taken for admission : 2-3 months
Intake timings: MAR/APR and SEP/OCT.
Students should have at least 60%(4years degree) in final degree.

* Courses offered:
MS in computer science, multimedia, networking technologies,Geo Informatics, Bio Informatics.

Masters in electronics,Embedded Systems, RF Integrated Circuits, Digital Signal Processing, Chip Design, Communication,STM,Power Electronics,Automation,Energy Engineering.

Mechanical and Process Engineering, Mechatronics,Production, Material Science, automobile.

Bio Technology, Bio science, Bio Medical Engineering, Process Engineering, Energy Technology, Environmental, Water Resources, Chemical Engineering,

For 3 year Graduates: International Business, Marketing, Finance(B.com and BBA with 65%)

EDUCATION with 900 Euros SCHOLARSHIP.
Time taken for admission : 2-3 months
* Intake timings: MARCH/ APRIL and SEPT/OCT.
* Students should have a minimum of 75% in their final degree course (4 years).
* Courses offered : MS in computer science, Masters in electronics, EEE,Mechanical.
Required IELTS score -6.5 /TOEFL.
If you are financially poor my consultancy charges will be 0 (ONLY FOR SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAMS).

AFTER THE ADMISSION.

~Visa process and documentation are very sensitive for Germany. You need experienced person to guide for your visa process.
~Your financial condition should be good to process for your application.
~At the time of visa you need to show 7800 euros bank DD or same euros in student blocked account. Without bank DD getting visa is highly impossible.
~Student work permit will be only 20hr per/week (Tax free).

PLEASE NOTE

~ Studies in Germany are the best compared to US and GBR.
~VISA process is case sensitive.
~No immigration process is open in Germany.After your bachelors or masters they issue only one year job search visa please mind it.

HOW DO I REPORT CRIME:

This blog is designed only for genuine student service. Recently i heard of so many cheating cases, if you are a victim, you can compliant to Hyderabad police at

http://cyberabadpolice.gov.in/howdo...

Regards
Osmium free education consultancy.
M.Sunil reddy
Kothapeta-Hyderabad
Sunilreddy1212@yahoo.com
ph:9959560679. contact after 10am-6pm.

Note: If you have any query feel free to contact us on 0091-9959560679 or you can send an sms with your brief details. Due to huge mails i can't post any reply for each and every single response. Please kindly co-operate.

When I make a list...

I have been blogging in this space for a good five years now. Yet aside from the MAD tribute post and the porn movies post I have desisted from making 'list' posts - you know posts in which I list things I love, hate, lust after, masturbate to, decapitate, skin, embalm, burn, emasculate, etc. There is a good reason for that, and it goes beyond my caring for the general public by not shoving in their face something subliminally gut-wrenching and nauseating.

As I have an opinion on anything and everything, my list posts would probably rival Robert Ludlum or Irving Wallace books in their length. I would have slipped in one of my favourite authors in the previous sentence if it was not for the fact that his work often gets mislabelled. He has the capacity to make you cry vociferously on one page and then give you a raging hard-on in the next. Of course, the latter is much better remembered especially if you are a man who wears boxers. Women should feel free to remark in the comments section if his books have, well... wet them down there. I don't need to name the author. Only one author had the ability to do that.

Let's see if I can make a list now. 9 items or less. Since we have touched upon authors, books is a good place to start. Well, not exactly but I am really not willing to think up something else to list. So here goes a list of 9 books. They may not necessarily be top 9 good or top 9 bad. They are just the 9 off the top of my head, in no particular order.

Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead - A gem of a book, not because it is fantastic in the accepted sense of the word. It is fantastic in the sense that the book proved for itself what it set out to preach - that humanity accords an exalted status to the mediocre. I have not come across a more mediocre book. Its only saving grace is the physical scene between the lead characters that treads a very fine line between rape and animalistic sex.
Robert Ludlum's The Bourne Identity - If ever a case had to be made against cinematic adaptations then this would convince even the most liberal of juries. The book has a lot to thank the movie for though. Just because the movie was this bad the book has instantly turned into a classic.
Mikhail Sholokov's Quiet Flows the Don - Quite possibly Sholokov was the last of the great Russian authors. This book won him the Nobel for literature, illustrating to all of us that sometimes the Nobel judges get things right after all. An account of Czarist Russia on either side of the great war from the view point of Gregory Milekhov, a simple farmer turned warrior, this book has that rare ability to leave that lump in your throat right through all of its two thousand or so pages.
Leon Uris' The Exodus - I admit. I am a sucker for all stories involving Israel's struggle for nationhood. Most of them I have read in the form of 'fact'ions. There is something romantically gory about them. It is like sleeping under heavy blankets with the air-con on full blast - you enjoy it while it lasts but don't quite look forward to a power outage.
Irving Wallace's The Almighty - Before bond made it famous in 'Tomorrow Never Dies', Irving Wallace wrote this book about a news corporation that makes its own news. Eventually they ended up biting more than they could chew when they tried to blast Air Force One mid-air.
Harold Robbins' The Carpetbaggers - This book is in a league of its own - it wove fact so brilliantly with fiction that the reader is hard-pressed to find out which is which. That and the author's flair for characterisation (you could tell what Jonas Cord would have for breakfast or what Rina Marlow would carry in her handbag) make it one of the most spellbinding books I have ever read. Every character is still etched in my memory.
Dan Brown's Angels and Demons - The prequel to 'The Da Vinci Code', this book has more blood and gore. The finesse with which Brown interweaves urban legend with history can only be appreciated. However, like all Dan Brown books the ending leaves you feeling cheated - it promised to deliver so much more but got weighed down by its own expectations.
Sidney Sheldon's Rage of Angels - Sidney Sheldon just had to make the list, didn't he? He is to books what Britney Spears is to music - extremely popular but lacking all class. Rage of Angels is from those times when he wrote freely, without the pressure of matching the sales of his previous bestsellers. And it had a woman lead in Jennifer Parker which pleased all the feminists greatly.
Arundhati Roy's The God of Small Things - Just how brilliant this book is can be gauged by Roy's permanent writer's block. She has not written since, probably giving away all she had in that one book. No wonder she won The Booker. She had to for this one.

That's about it. Perhaps I shall list out the top 9 racks or the top 9 rumps in my next post. But going by the history of this blog, I would probably do something else.

When women do not appreciate multiple lovers...

It is generally believed that bloggers either have no jobs or that they have overpaid jobs which demand nothing more of their time than the cursory emailing. The belief is not misplaced.

Look at me. What do I do each day at work? Nothing really. It isn't even that my job pays me a lot of money. It is just that I have figured out the essence of the truth - the work put in should be directly commensurate with the remuneration. So I choose to make my own time at my workplace and post in these hallowed corridors.

Truth be told, this post has not been interesting thus far. And there are indications that it is not going to get any better. You might even be tempted to click on the close button in your browser's tab bar or close the browser window if you choose to live in the dark ages of tabless browsing. But that would leave you feeling hopelessly small and insignificant. It would make you into one of those people who don't have it in them to go through a lousy blog post.

That is swell, by the way, if you are me. I have always prided myself on my innate ability to shirk work of any kind, to simply give up when the mountain is too tall or the river is too deep, the latter being of special importance since I take to the water like a fish takes to air. Human beings were never meant to swim. We built ships to help us do that. Why do some of us still continue with the redundant activity and even win gold medals in the process? Of course, they do get busted for marijuana which tells us that these dope heads are as sane as amateur 'aviators' with strap-on wings.

Today not being All Fools' Day, I was almost tempted to make a non-existent post. For some reason it appears that technology does not allow us to create something that does not exist. Well, if only that applied to all the rhetoric around us. It should at least apply to the blog summary page of this site that lists post-less blogs in the 'Latest Posts' column. Apparently technology is not consistent everywhere, which is a reflection of the times we live in. Only women who do not like 'predictability' in their men can appreciate this. However, the same women would not appreciate inconsistency in the choice of their man's lovers.

Clothes Distribution Day 2008

DEAR CONCERNED

Social Service now a days is the most chanted mantra by Government, Political parties Business communities, Celebrities world over. How long do we have overburden them by depending on them alone to do Service. In fact service can be done with a simple intention of evoking our own helping nature.

LET US SHARE, LET US SERVE and eventually SHARE A SERVICE. what is this SHARE A SERVICE? It is a movement which does not belong to any one individual institution or organization. It is not owned by any leader It is the call of our own innate desire to inspire and encourage what a human can do to thyself. It is a wake up call to set aside 0. 01% of our self centered nature to build someone else's life. Let us not build an Organisation for Service but instead do Organized Service which is true service devoid of all distractions and piliferage. CLOTHES DISTRIBUTION DAY 2007 has given us a reference that at a given opportunity every individual renders his/her best support for a social cause.

WHY 31 DECEMBER?

This is a global event wherein people world over celebrate the day by welcoming the new year and bid adieu the old year. The transition date from the old to the new is 31 December. All of us look forward to a new dress on a happy occasion. The new year is one of such a happy occassion.

If all those people who can afford an unused dress for the oncoming new year pause a while and collect one or a pair of used clothes and donate it to person who wishes to wear a new pair of clothes but cannot afford to do so, Our old dress could become someone else’s new dress in the coming new Year.

What you can do is donate clothes, volunteer, set up a collection point in your colony, apartment, office, building, school, college, workplace, spread the message to all your friends and acquaintances and to your known circle, have a promotional poster set up in your business establishment/shop/office. If you are a part of a corporate you could send the e-invites to all your colleagues by your email network, or place the invite on your notice board. If you are a part of an organisation you could spread the message to your colleagues and conduct a collection drive and donate the clothes on behalf of your organisation to the needy we would be sending you the addresses and requirement of the needy to you directly wherein you can donate the clothes at your place or at the needy's place based on your convenience. The addresses of the collection points in the various areas of the twin cities and in all the districts of Andhra Pradesh along with the major cities of India are available on our website. Donors can deposit the clothes at the collection points which would be mostly at a walkable distance from your homes/work places.

For further information contact:

info@shareaservice.com, care@shareaservice.com
or log onto http://www.shareaservice.org/

SHARE A SERVICE
405, AMSRI SHAMIRA
OLD LANCER LANE, 9-1-113 TO 118
SECUNDERABAD-500025

PH: 040-27807425, 30481424
FAX: 040-66201424

When I cannot live with two women...

In my previous post (Technically, the post prior to the previous post since the previous post has been previously deleted but who is into technicalities these days? Especially since we now know that older technology scores over the newer ones, a case in point being the robustness of the Nokia 1110 over the touch-me-not sensibilities of the N95.) I had made a sweeping statement to the effect that it could be the last post on this blog.

Ardent readers of this blog would note the inherent irony in that statement (Of course, they should also note the supreme dullness of their lives if this blog is their sole source of entertainment.). It is absolutely characteristic of me to make such a claim. It is even more characteristic of me to not abide by it. As they say, if horses start befriending pastures what are they going to eat? Not only was that a crude translation, it was also quoted out of context.

Now, now. Here is a brilliant brainwave. Media houses quote celebrities (let's not go into the 'celebrities are proof of the decline of human civilisation' discourse, hard though it is not to) out of context all the time. So, if celebrities start talking out of context would that make the work of the media easier? May be I should patent this idea before anyone else starts to make money out of it. But that would be akin to a non-violent person dealing in guns. I would not be true to my beliefs, my principles - all because the greens would have me blinded. Well, I can live with that.

What I cannot live with, however, are two women. And that is only because my wife would have none of it. Make no mistake. A charming lady she is. Very classy too. It is just that I fail to understand why I cannot keep my box of snacks on the living room centre table. Keep it in the kitchen, she says. Why can a man not be the man of the house?

Noise

The streets were buzzing with crowd and the deafening noise was unavoidable. The loud steps of the young, infirm steps of the old, tender steps of children, arrogant steps of cops, measured steps of the ascetic, wayward steps of the awestruck tourist, all of those crossing one another's randomly on the tarmac. Not a very hot morning it was, and they decided to stop by at a restaurant.

No sooner had they found a place to sit than the waiter loudly listed the items on the menu and waited impatiently for the order. A few words of slang from the table to the right, squeals of laughter from that to the left, and the clang of empty glasses from the one behind... noise permeated the entire surrounding. The waiter rushed to fetch and one doubted if he heard the order completely.

The tea was hot, and Murthy preferred to wait. He noticed Sid looking at the tea with focus. Maybe it brought a few memories, but it wasn't obvious to Murthy. He asked, "Dude, is something off with you?" "At times, one is off", Sid put it vaguely.

"I'm asking about you".

"At times,... one is off", Sid repeated.

"You could've informed me before coming. What if I wasn't here? As it is, it's Diwali vacation for school!" Murthy looked at Sid. "Isn't that crazy?"

"Well, I've become unpredictable, of late".

"We are too old for that, man!"

Sid responded with a shrug.

"You didn't have a plan, did you? Been quite some time since we met last. You didn't even want to check if I'm working with the same school? And you don't have return tickets!"

"Just occurred to me if I could visit the ghats and Sarnath. So I came. Checked with school... and you were there. And then there are always hotels, anyways. As for tickets, I will book it here".

"Being planned doesn't hurt, right?"

"If one is unplanned at times, I guess it's all right".

"Sailing with no direction or purpose, then? How good is that! Specially when one can afford not to?"

"There are times when one can't drive the sail. Waters are rough at places".

"That doesn't mean you would just let it go!"

"Maybe one hasn't. If one is running to catch the distant flower, he will brave the thorns on the path. It doesn't mean he is careless or hasn't planned his run to evade the thorns. On the contrary!"

Briefly, Murthy seemed to agree. "I see you have a point. Maybe you don't consider this important enough to plan. I plan, however, to go for a mobile number next year. You can do better then".

"Great!"

The pause in conversation was unnoticeable. It faded readily into the noise, imperceptibly. Sid almost finished drinking the tea while Murthy just began.

Murthy wouldn't be quiet for long. "Why the ghats, all of a sudden?"

"Something about them seemed to draw me".

"What? Their being old, sombre and morbid?" Murthy laughed.

"Perhaps. Resembles some old chap who has gone through the run of life. Reeks of silent wisdom".

"How about a haggard, used oldie crumbling under his own weight? Totally done in".

"Let's see. We will be there in a while", Sid smiled.

"You look low, man! You sound low, too!"

Sid knew, but he didn't think it showed. "The ride isn't always up and smooth. Sometimes, there's the decline on the hill of life".

"So you are on the decline? Where does it end?"

"It ends with the fall... The fall that levels everything... and shows you where you belong".

"So you are waiting for the fall?" Murthy finished the tea and put the empty glass down with deliberation. The contact of glass with the table was far from quiet.

"Waiting for the inevitable is redundant. For the present, it's just the decline".

"How long will the present last?"

"For now, the present is indefinite".

"Present indefinite", Murthy smiled. "Dude, tea isn't the best drink when on a decline. Like to try grass? Mescaline?" he winked. "My buddies at BHU can treat us".

"No, thanks!" Sid was amused.

"Worry not. One dip in the Ganges and the sin will be washed away", Murthy laughed. "If present is indefinite, future is tense. Present indefinite; future tense", Murthy played with words.

As they set out to the walk to the ghats, the noise followed them. Loyally. The noise of restless mankind. The noise of winter morning. The noise of ancient city. The noise of trade. The noise of the dogs fighting for a piece of bone in garbage. The noise of the pleading of beggars. The noise of the chanting of hymns. The noise of the weight of tradition. The noise of absolute faith. The noise of the suppressed dreams. The noise of the abandoned newborns. The noise of tears in the eyes of the old woman on the brink of death. The noise of brawls, of shattering failures, of loving hugs, of wily smiles, of the words unsaid, of the songs unsung, of broken hearts, of blithe spirits, of chattering minds, of noise, and of silence.

At the bottom of the flight of stairs, they stood on the banks of the Ganges, flowing serenely with flowers and filth. Shortly after, an old man in saffron robes and gray hairs caught their attention. "I will just get some flowers. Wait", Murthy said and went up. "Sure", Sid replied. The old man approached Sid, looked at him for a while and smiled. Sid couldn't help reciprocate; old man and saffron was a charming combination. "Life-altering time?", the old man asked with a smile and started to walk away. Sid, caught in utter surprise, looked at the man. Sid didn't answer "Yes", but the old man seemed to know. Walking the steps up, he said "God bless!"

"Thank you", Sid replied.

As the old man walked away and Murthy started walking toward, Sid heard the noise of their steps. Noise followed noise. The noise of surprise. The noise of ascent. The noise of descent. The noise of the ardent devotees. The noise of the living. The noise of the dying. The noise of sinners. The noise of sinning. The noise of the burning pyre. The noise of priests haggling for money. The noise of wrestlers. The noise of boatsmen luring visitors. The noise of kids jumping into the waters. The noise of the click of camera buttons. The noise of the pens arranging words on empty paper. The noise of relations consigning the corpse to flames. The noise of the flowers in garlands. The noise of the presence of strangers. The noise of the absence of dear ones. The noise of the silent, unseen God. The noise of the souls seeking salvation. The noise of eagles prying for the edible remains. The noise of monkeys stealing bits of food. The noise of the ashes dissolving in waters. The noise of reason. The noise of unreason. The noise of longing. The noise of belonging. The noise of unbelonging. The noise of existence. The noise of death. The noise of life.

The noise of the beat of the heart. The noise of presence. The noise of absence.

When in Rome...

I don't consider myself to be a person with a particularly non-defeatist attitude. Heck if I were in a fight, I would run away today to be alive to run away some other day. It is not without my reasons, most of which are those of self-preservation, that I consider the pen to be mightier than the sword. At the same time, I do genuinely believe that violence is never the solution. We resort to it because we want to spare ourselves the effort to thoughtfully resolve a dispute.

That said, I have not come across a more resigned proverb than 'When in Rome do as Romans do'. Succumbing to the lure of being a sheep among the herd is even too much of a thing for my plastic spine, and my spine is pretty plastic. I could bend over backwards to get a woman to sleep with me, though for the life of me I could never fathom why it is this very bending over that seems to put most women off me.

Seriously. Why would anyone with a semblance of self-esteem ever want be a part of the crowd? Had Galileo believed in the Church's doctrine we would still believe that if we travelled to the horizon then we would drop off into the abyss. Had Martin Luther King not believed in civil rights the African Americans would have no right to vote. Had the Mahatma not believed in the then alien concept of non-violence we would not have a movie like Lage Raho Munna Bhai.

Yes, it is not easy to live with the consequences of your choices if they are not in conformation with the beliefs of the time. You will be ridiculed. However, to state "A girl with a Look Or You Miss tee won't get much crowd sympathy in Hyderabad if she gets into trouble." is like saying "It is not the rapist but the victim who is the perpetrator of the crime. The rapist was just the harmless participant."

I have never been one for saving the world through blogs, nor do I believe anyone can ever do that. The world cannot be saved, really. But that is besides the point. The point is when people who are a part of the so-called thinking strata of the society we live in make blanket statements like the one above, it is saddening to put it euphemistically. I suppose that is what being a Roman in Rome does to you.

The Final Frontier.

You've gotta love these moments. :D

I can count 3 of them in any MBA aspirant's lives or prolly only Payne's. 1) The CAT itself. 2) Ze summers in that B-school and 3) The finals.

So, ladies and gentleman, it is time for Payne to cross the final frontier. As the many toothpaste and coconut oil companies line up to pick n choose the miniscule numbers they come for, Payne gets ready. Once Again.

Checklist time!

1. Inspiring music. Check! It's time for arbit dramatic OSTs from the best of my collection - Armageddon now.

2. Last minute mugging? Check! Everything from distribution to the no. of outlets in rural India.

3. Ze suit and ze boot? Check!

4. Ze comfy undahweah? Check!

5. All possible answers to all possible questions including "why do you want to run around villages in the searing heat talking to rambabu instead of convincing mr.saxena to invest in MFs?". A *loud* check! (to counter louder music)

6. Pressing Send/Recieve in Outlook Express waiting for last minute shortlists. Check!

7. Post on dead blog about these mundane things. Check! :D

I guess am kinda immature. To be overwhelmed by the occasion than the task at hand, but heck...I've turned out fine so far. :) God's grace indeed. :D

So here's to the journey being more important than the destination! Here's to 2 years wrapping up in a few days!

Here's to the final frontier.

Payne

PS: All the best to all of ye. :)

When I write better than most people read...

More often than is generally considered sane, I saunter to the depths of the archives of this blog to read posts that are absolute gems (pre circa 2006). I am compelled to do it because of this inherent need to read material worthy of being read. That I do not find such stuff outside the confines of this blog probably means that I can write better than most people can read.

This is not one of those posts bashing bloggers everywhere, though I believe blogging has fallen so deep into an abyss of its own making that a further fall would actually translate into a rise. Bon Jovi once wrote in one of their songs, "I am so far away, each step that I take's on my way home..." A bunch of guys who possibly never ventured anywhere near a house of learning could understand that for such a thing to be possible the earth will have to be round. The song went on to become a huge hit, even among students of those schools in the US that do not teach the earth is round. Only tells us that sometimes it is more than welcome if students doze off during their classes as long as they are allowed to attend concerts.

I write this post with a roll of tissue literally attached to my nasal passageway, courtesy a very nasty cold brewing in my innards. Although no one really cares to know, I should like to state that leaving the nasal canal free of absorbents is causing unchecked localised precipitation of nasal mucus. This is indeed worrying. Partly because I am sharing highly personal information on the web. Mostly because the mucus is almost as clear as water.

Since I have already sung paeans of the wonders of nasal mucus, I shall desist from walking down this road. You know, the sheer number of roads that I have refused to walk down is simply bizarre. You could even say that the sum total of the distance I have refused to walk down is more than the average distance between the earth and the moon, which raises a very pertinent question. Why did the Apollo astronauts go to the moon? Wouldn't not walking down certain roads have been a better option? Cheaper, definitely.

PS: It is good to be back!

The Hyderabadi Sexual Appetite

I am not sure how many of you have read the very interesting sex survey conducted by India Today magazine regarding the sexual activity of Hyderabad. I came across the article a while ago and thought it would be interesting to throw some light on the Hyderabadi sexual menu.

* Hyderabadi men are the most favorable to homosexuality in India. With 61% of the men agreeing with it. One in three men are homosexual. 22% of these are out of the closet and 13% are still in.

*One in four men agree to a sexual experience with a prostitute. Highest percent in Hyderabad and Chennai at 37%.

*83% of Hyderabadi men have had a sexual encounter with a prostitute at least once in their life.The highest percent in India.

*72% of Hyderabadi males approve of adultery. The highest percent in India.

*Approval of underage sex in Hyderabad is the highest in India at 78%

*One in every five men who was involved in partner swapping was persuaded by their partner. Again highest in Hyderabad at 52%

*Hyderabad leads with 41% of men who have experimented with sex toys

*2 out of 5 men like role playing during sex. Highest in Hyderabad at 56%

*2/3 of males feel their partner is adventurous when it comes to sex. Again highest at 84%

*Hyderabad high at men experimenting different positions during sex. 9 out of 10.

*Over one out of four men who have watched pornography watch it often. Men from Hyderabad at 54%

*Video pornography finds the highest patrons in Hyderabad at 70%

*20 percent of all porn-watching men in Hyderabad admit having made their own porn videos (LOL)

*46 percent of the females like to experiment with different positions while having sex. Hyderabad being the highest where 4 out of 5 females experiment with different positions.

So people, there is your scoop on the Hyderabadi sexual appetite. Hyderabadi men, WHAT DO YOU EAT???? Me thinks its all that gosht(meat;beef) that is making you so sexually active. As for the women, I didn't find much about their preferences but it could also be because they don't like sharing their sexual opinions.

Well lovelies,
the things I do for you all.

XOXO
Miss Cherie

When two wheelers must be taken off the road...

I don't know who said this, perhaps Marylyn Monroe in one of her movies, but it was said well - The best things in life are free. By implying that this was said well I am in no way agreeing with the statement. However, I am not above appreciating the beauty of the construct.

At this point, I should like to point out that if you are not a language aficionado then try as hard as you may you are not going to understand the above paragraph, the same way you are not going to grasp the subtle difference between the appreciation of language and the appreciation of grammar even though the two are not mutually exclusive. You might as well give up on the rest of this post and click on any of the other mundane articles on the internet. If you are not good enough to read my posts then I am not bad enough to write for your level of comprehension.

The nail being driven on the head, now seems like a good time to dwell on the finer nuances of the statement in question. Since I am not into dwelling on stuff that has not emanated from me I am contradicting myself here. Self-contradiction is one step beyond self-actualisation. Only those who truly do not bother with social conventions can rise above the banality of being conformists. As I say, "Anyone can swim with the stream. Only salmon swim upstream. They die. But they die having sex. Isn't that the way to go?"

Apparently, two wheeler riders have taken to my saying in the letter and not in the spirit. Overtaking from the passenger side has become a fashion of sorts. If they believe that those driving a car have a clear view of who is overtaking them from the wrong side then they should also believe that in case of a collision the car driver will die while they will escape scratch-free. In my not so humble opinion (opinions rarely are ever humble), all two wheelers should be taken off the road. That would not only free up 70% of the road space but also bring chaos theory to its death. On the plus side, two wheeler riders have great potential to be the solutions to the population problem.

Morbidity aside (I can't believe I am saying that), my one month holiday is nearly over. This is most certainly a boo hoo moment. Then again, my blog always has been gloomy.

When I am insightful...

One of my all time favourite dialogues is from Kshatriya, a pretty obscure movie if you were born after 1981. Being as it was released in the 90s with no cable television or internet porn, yours truly watched it at least three times - twice in colour, and once in black and white on my granny's Beltek TV. Those were simpler times indeed. We were happier then with much little than we are sad today with much more. Whoa, that was quite an insightful statement. I had to read that over ten times to completely soak in its beauty.

Anyway, the dialogue. It was a scene between Vinod Khanna and Sunny Deol. Deol, who had just returned from London, wanted to get married to Khanna's daughter, which was impossible for the same reason that Aamir Khan and Juhi Chawla could not get married in QSQT. The father of the not-to-be bride (Vinod Khanna, of course) says something to the effect that their families share a fiery enmity to which Sunny says that you cannot fight fire with fire and you need water to douse the flames. This is when this gem of a line comes from Vinod Khanna, "Oh, and you have brought the fire-dousing water from London!"

In isolation, the dialogue itself is not interesting. Then again, in isolation nothing is interesting unless I happen to find Angelina Jolie in isolation. However, the dialogue has stayed with me for a good fifteen years now. In retrospect, perhaps those fifteen years were not all that good if the only solid memory I have of those years is that of a cheesy dialogue from a super flop movie. I should have got out more often, and not like those Goa trips with my parents. I probably should not have said that out loud. Hot women reading this post should disregard that statement.

This raises another question. No, not the question if any hot women read this blog at all. The question simply is this, "Would a woman continue to be perceived as hot if she had the time to wander in the online space reading some loser's ramblings? Shouldn't she be out there getting laid?" Another insight to nicely round off this post.

When I make another list...

Breaking from tradition, I am actually doing something that I said I would - making another list post - though not in its entirety. 'Entirety'. I have always liked that word. It is almost in that no man's land between a word and a non-word. Say 'entirety' often times in your head and you are convinced that such a word does not exist.

For the grammar novices, the first statement of this post does not mean I am not making a list post in its entirety (notice the strategic use of hyphenation). It means I am not breaking from tradition completely in that this is not a list of the top 9 lumps or humps. In fact, it may not even be a list of 9 items. Let's make the list up as we go along, shall we?

A natural sequel list to books is movies. And despite approving of all things au naturale, if you get my drift which is unlikely since you would need to have a life for that, I loathe movie lists. Every sucker has an opinion on what a movie should be. They are all wrong. A movie is not supposed to entertain you. It must gyrate so heavily on your nerves that you remember it for the rest of your lives. Only Mithun da movies can do that. He Rules!!!

Here goes a list off the top of my head of cars. I am not a petrol head by any stretch of the imagination though that has not stopped me from thinking that I am one.

1. Fiat Premier Padmini 1100 - Any Indian born in the 80s knows what exactly it is that I am talking about. A gem of a car this one is. Yes, it breaks down more often than Pamela Anderson's implants but unlike Ms. Anderson all it usually takes is a few well-placed hits of the hammer to get the car up and running again. Then there are the girls! Nothing gets them as misty-eyed and weak-kneed as a romantic drive in this baby. I know this. I drove the car for over two years - never had a social life crisis during the time.

2. Hindustan Ambassador - It doesn't matter which make or model you drive, an Amby is an Amby. Unless your arms are built of titanium alloy the steering wheel just won't turn. Having never driven the car myself, I can at least say this much. The backseat comfort in an Amby is unparalleled. I have been in less comfortable beds. Then there is the stateliness. I can't think of any car that beats the bureaucratic snobbery of the Amby.

3. Maruti 800 - Purely on this list because it made it possible for the middle class to realise the car dream. When first launched, the sales were below par. Apparently, the pseudo-sophisticated middle class thought the car was rubbish because it was priced this low. When the price was jacked up that same middle class lapped it up. Only goes to show that the middle class is all appearance and no substance. By the way, it is entirely possible that I have my stories mixed up - Kinetic Honda had to increase its price to sell, and perhaps Maruti did not - but the bit about the middle class is definitely true.

4. Mitsubishi Lancer - The best looking car for its price. I inherited a black one with over a 100,000 km on the odometer. It still drove like a charm. It swayed sideways at any speed greater than 100 kmph but surprisingly it could attain that speed even after years of abuse. It could even do 140 if you were brave enough. The thing, though, is this. The faster you drove this car, the quieter the engine got. How did the Japs pull that off? More importantly, why?

5. Hyundai Accent - Has to be the worst car ever. Seriously. It just chooses the most inopportune moment to throw its fits - the engine doesn't turn over when you have an appointment to keep, the drive shaft goes bust merely a week after you change the clutch, wheel bearings burn out on a highway passing through the middle of a jungle... you get the drift. More than anything, it is also a car that I currently drive. From a Fiat to a Hyundai, it has all been downhill.

I could keep adding to this list. But that would make it like that big British car show on television, the tone of which seems to have been greatly inspired by this blog considering that both came into existence almost simultaneously.