untitled blog

last night...

Last night me and my roomie dragged ourselves into a discussion which eventually turned on to the problmes we had in our prev work env.

After a while of blabber he opened up.. Surprisingly what all problems i think i had ( and still have) he too had had.

He had problems with his communication skills, with saying NO at the right time, get into inferiority complex often, always feel that he is wasting his time doing nothing worthful etc...

Hmm. it makes me feel nice to find a companion,. atleast am not alone in the deep bullshit.But the good thing with him is that he has overcome most of the problems he had and i still have to..

Hope i will......

i dont know why but i feel that problems i have, occur only to me, but to none else.......<br>I started playing football with romanians here.. its quite relieveing after a days gluing-the-ass-to-chair thing.

sleepless nights

I often have sleepless nights. Most due to my constant reminding of the worries i have. these days,( at times) i do have sleeples nights but of a different kind.

I no longer worry about being awake, that i could sleep only for 3-4 hours, that i would be sleepy through out the next day, but i rather enjoi being awake... Earlier i used to think about all the things that happened to me and present myself with the worst case scenario of the complete issue. That made me greet the things the next day with a worse attitude.

But lately, i am letting the thoughts dip in. Trying to make most out of the time i am getting for myself. And perhaps, no more frequent sleepless nights.

my woes.

Actually thought pf posting something else, but my fickle mood made me to post this dumb thing about myself again.

Today we were assigned the project.. and am just writing down what all went inside me. My new project would be some XYZ Maintenance. The second word made me feel real bad about the whole thing. I dont know what kind of work will welcome me there, but i reeled myself in gloomy thoughts. Like what if the work wont be nice, what if there is no  chance of onsite, what if the project members are not nice, what if i dont get a shift soon, what if am not satisfied with the project.. i could not help being pessimistic,,. i know it wont help me but still..

Its not the problem with the project am assigned to.. but even if the porject is a good one i would have been satisfied fully..Felt as if every other person in the class were put into good projects than mine. Though i didnt feel jealousy of any sort, but some where i was burning.,. upon none but my luck,, even before knowing whether its good or bad..

i wish i were an optimist..( optimism of a pessimist)..

Money,,,,

One book ireally wanted to read but was advised not to is the book of J. Krishna murthy.
There is this mentor of mine who said taht i am not matured enough to get into that kind of stuff. But the things he told me about what had happedned to some ppl (rather how they are influenced) after reading it, had made the things much more worse for me, by making me more curious about whats in that book.

i was attracted to one point among all what he told .. that you dont tend to rate money as a substantial thing in life.. I really wanted to be one of that kind,, one who does not care for money  at all.

But as there is a lot of gap between being want to be one and really being one, i never succeeded in being one.
Well, its indeed a better way to live, without any monetary inhibitions, but its the hardest thing, i suppose..

I say to myself taht i should be practising that.. but am still practising it. When ever i go out shopping, or with a dinner with soemone, or i had to spend some money on anything.. i tend to take a back step thinking i should be saving this money rather than littering it away. Being in cyprus added to the woes.. I let my hair grow the way it wants fearing the 6 pound pocket cut. didnt buy a packof cigarettes which would cost me 2.5 pounds. Would not eat a bigMac in peace and the list continues,, though finite..
Who ever says they dont care for money might be lying,,like me.. i suppose.
I think i should get one JKs book for myself.
Money!!! its a gas!!!!

achievers, and me ..

I came across some wonderful people, through out my career....

SOme of them Include..

• a guy who graduated from IIM L. and opted to work for his own venture, neglecting some wonderful offers than came across.
• A guy who got through IIM A but didnt opt it, just coz he wanted to imrpove his technical gamut.( he ended up in pursuing his MBA in ISB)..
• Another, who preferred to help his team mates (rather subordinates) than making full use of the chance for himself.
• a batch mate who graduated as a chemical enginner, and working on the kernal of LOngHorn.
• Class mate whose proposal was accepted by NASA.
• couple of friends who consider them selves as gods gift to the world, and worse, they really are.

when i compare myself with these guys( some of them indeed are very close to me, personally and professionally) i really hit my low. A question that creeps into my mind,.. what did i achieve in my life.. what significant thing did i do with my life other than just living it.. But i am really thankful for every one of the above.. for influencing me to turn myself into someone better,,.. i would not  be the same had it not been them,....Even otherwise,  spend some time with cigarettes, beer and pink floyd songs, life seems to be normal again.;);)

re-union

i havebeen out of touch with this for the past 2 months or so.
Reason.. i setteled down comfyly in Cyprus.
Its been 1 month since i landed here and i was pretty much busy since. Perhaps that does not give ample reason for being out in touch with my blog ( even after two reminders from moderator). I thought i would never ever get back to this blog again, but this image

changed my view aout myself and about the blog. Yes..i (used to) judge my self-importance with the number of commments to my entry, or by no of mails that i get every day, or the number of times my mobile buzzs.THis ad definitely changed my perspective which eventuallly had to change with time.
lining up the happenings:
I thought i would settle in hyd, in a compnay named MG. but i was not lucky enough to get the joining date in time.I had no other option but to opt for Amdocs.
i landed here and intial weeks went by busy weighing my decision.
Wheni concluded that its worthy enough, i confronted this porblem, about myself agian. I had an impresion that i was good at Java, but after coming her i met some ppl who really are great at it. That put me at low gear and i had to over come that.Ofcourse it took some time and probably will continue to take too.
Then was busy withhouse hunting. Luckily we finally settled in a beautiful place, in the outskirts on a hilly area, with some beautiful sights around.
NOw when everything is pretty much settled, i during my baskingly browsing session came across this toon.. It didnt take much time to decide to get back to my old friend. And teh reunion indeed is nice.

I decided to fill this blog with more about me rather than a posting which beg for a comment.
more continued......