Bitch from Hell

you know how it is when you can sometimes pinpoint the exact thing, the exact words the exact action the exact event thast made your life what it is? and you know the gutwrenching despair and regret it can evoke when your life is a horrbile place? and you know the yearning for a second chance? how you know, you just KNOW that if you could go back and do or not do somethng say or not say something, your life would be in a better place?

but sometimes you dont know it would have been better. you think alright, it might have been different at any rate. anything to relieve the monotony the mind numbing frustration of a day in the life of inez serrano?

there is worse to come.

is there any feeling in creation, in existence in non existence that is worse than knowing that all the rage and hated inside you, the howls and wails you hear in you head all the time, all of them are because of one thing, and EVEN if you had done that thing different, even if yopu coulkd go back and change things, it would all still be the same?

now i begin to understand being and nothingness. now i begin to see why.

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