Disabled contemplations
baap | 18 February 2005, 3:33amWhen you walk down a long road, while thinking intensely about something, you stop later to find out how much distance you have covered. Part of you takes pride in the fact of covering so much distance in a percievably less amount of time while a major part of you laments on how you missed out seeing the things along that traversed path.It happens to me quite often actually in reality, but in retrospect, in overview of my life, this "walk of life" has been similar. I turn back to see now on how much distance i have covered. I do take pride in how much i have traversed/achieved, in the friendships i have made, kept, broken, and re-established again only to be more stronger. I am fully aware of this quite un-necessary "prophetic" way of speaking, partly it has been influenced by just seeing LOTR, partly because efectively i have a broken leg and wear a knee brace maufactured by a company called MGRM (May God Rehabilitate Mankind), and partly because i finally realise that the people i care for do care for me too.
Illustrations:
Before though, this wasn't true. Friendship, as much as i have despised the explicit usage of the term, was a mere statistic to me, a metric which was more of a calculable quantity than an abstract, natural force which forms the basis for everything ranging from Society to Anhiliation. I denied it while it was presented to me, i yearned for it while it was taken away from me. No i havent lost any friends, nor have any paths been crossed (while i look back). Its just that, as i sit here partially disabled, contemplating on my relationship with people around me and my responses to the things i need to respond to, i find no errors neither do i find any successes. I once said "I am not happy with life, rather content", dint know jackshit of what i was saying at that time, it was more of a "HMPH kya boley...moment" than anything else. Now though i think i can understand the difference between being Happy and being Content. I can confidently say that from the age of around 9 until now, i was never happy but very content. Be it academic success or family harmony or friendly relations, none of the afore mentioned 3 parameters possessed equal magnitudes.
This is a time for rest, a time for inconsequential contemplation not disturbed by unnecessary complexity nor neglect. The past 2 and a half hours watching LOTR on HBO with the uncut scenes lead me to this piece of verse. A silent message, which i recommend to whisper rather than read aloud:
A soldier is wounded in the daily battle
He retires into sobriety, a place without societal cackle
Movement is restricted, but thought emancipated
After lengthy days and nights, both tainted
Tainted with hope, tainted with joy
Tainted with sorrow, tainted after a cry
He remains tainted, this wounded soldier
The stain remains, but the scar is mere
Nursed himself did he, before the wound
To have begot a feeling he should have felt soon
Take heed my friend who thinks thou are bad
You love too much, too many, to be had
Take rest my friend for you are tired
Exasperated by those, those who have made you a crier
I have cried alone which is of great crime
For if i shared my sorrow, it would need less time
I have loved alone which is of great shame
For if my love was shared, it would need less pain
Take rest my friend for you have long to go
For if you rest, you can "sing a poh"
Whew...wok...just finished seeing Futurama..and all can "kiss my shiny metal ass...goodbye"! Futurama rocks totally! It very well could be the closest interpretation of future 1000 years from now, leaving apart of course the All-purpose spray and the portable suicide booths and the robot whos got "mojo". Anyway, its a fun show with cartoons yelling out stuf like ass and other lower ordered tv-biased profanities which would make the higher-ordered profanity user go "ooooh".
The other day, i went to this lake..yup a lake beside me college. There were 4 of us males. I use the word males, due to lack of contextual choice. I cant use guys..because we dont fit into that stereotype, i cant say men, because apparently i "no longer" fit into that stereotype (cause: Shaving has reduced by visible age to 14, nothing to do with sexual preference!). Males though seems apt, because we all share the same caveman carnal once-in-a-while hard on when we see Katrina Kaif or something like that.
There ends the similarity though, anyway 3 of us males got stoned while the remaining one literally got STONED, whcih resulted in the karmic completion of a cycle which was ensuing among 3 outta the 4 males. Illustrations :
As far as the road goes (Woo-Hoo PUN!...i think), there's still a whole lotta road to go before the next time i look back, but now that i do look back, i am content and well maybe even a li'll happy.Hopefully the next time i make the restrospected turn of the head, i wont be physically maimed.Illustrations of mera injury:
As i start walking again, there are people right now who are making their OWN stops, people who im sure will turn back and look at nothing but sludge and as i put it "Duttyness". The above poem applies to them too.Oh ! and i totally forgot, now after i make this stop, i walk ahead signing and prolly a small jive also...YES!!!! Song and Dance (Both preferably soliratily done) shall accompany me where-ever i go...(Yoddle yaeeeeeeee ooooooooooh).
PS: Walking funda motivated by my current disability to walk due to repetition of damage to the crucial or lateral ligaments in the knee region.
/\ \/ 
Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: Nights in white Satin - Moody BLues
Posted in General | Next | Previous | Comments (10) | Trackbacks (0)
1. By Jaszalcatraz | 18 Feb 2005, 4:33am
You are a Golden God!!!
2. By Odette | 18 Feb 2005, 8:17pm
Nice blogs.
So Amy or Leela?
3. By baap | 18 Feb 2005, 9:34pm
definitely Leela.. !!!!! the 'eye' kinda turns me on :p
PS: do people even read the replies?
4. By baap | 18 Feb 2005, 9:38pm
definitely Leela.. !!!!! the 'eye' kinda turns me on :p
PS: do people even read the replies?
5. By utopicillusion | 19 Feb 2005, 8:15am
Sad to hear that you have a broken leg. How did it happen?
Get better soon.
6. By Odette | 19 Feb 2005, 12:27pm
No they dont :p
7. By baap | 19 Feb 2005, 3:12pm
@Odette who art thou? and why do i get the feeling that u are a female version of the dog in garfield?
8. By the other one | 24 Feb 2005, 5:00am
i a watching evn when u turn back i am watching.
9. By Bigmouth | 30 Mar 2005, 10:13pm
Did you delete a blog ? Or has it been that long since i visited this page ?
10. By Bigmouth | 30 Mar 2005, 10:13pm
Did you delete a blog ? Or has it been that long since i visited this page ?