To Sir, With Worship

orejas | 22 September, 2004 01:08

ahhh mondays....
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
wait! its tuesday...erm.......
well i went to my first class only to be stunned and horrified at the state that the pisspot and these fucking knowitall overbearing brats in the first year have driven my beloved benevolent god professor into. it is a shame. he is high-strung, he is a wildly theatrical teacher and he is unusual - for the pisspot at any rate. he teaches like a camera. a picture, in focus, with all the bitsd out of focus and the liverty to see them. and an awareness that it IS a picture and not the actual world. he presents, he never persuades you to take a side, he will give something he disagrees with as much importance and more effort than something he believes in. he never nevfer never never takes a critical stand. he believes it is his job as teacher to show us in the simplest terms, wot the author of the piece or idea is saying. i use the word deliberately, it is never he is trying to convey this, no it is he says this. you read it as you wish, it is not my place to presume to tell you how to do so. and that is true teaching, especially if you want to be post-whatever about it. and the idiots that these people are, they do not SEE that in their desperate FRENZIED search for duality and deconstruction they are imposing as much as anyone else. to force someone to do anything is forcing them, just because your God is Gayathri Chakraborthy Spivak instead of Rama doesn't make you any better. they are driving him to a breakdown. he is angry because they question him, they disrespect him, and he is tense tense tense all the time. he had eighty students in his class, EIGHTY, who speak diffenrent languages and are at different levels of perception, HOW can you ignore the fact that he has to address everyone and not just you? you talk about awareness but you are NOT aware.
sheh.

today's post is for you sir.
it is because of you that i have learnt the little i have in this dreadful hegemonistic place. it is because of you that i use my brains once in a while, and it is because of you that i can believe in myself. when i am standing there in the oppressive fog of deconstruction i know that somewhere i can find you and you will show me how to rise above the snarls of jargon and prejudice. and this thought helps me not turn around and run away. it is your praise that means something, your grades carry value, because i know you will only give them to me if i deserve them. it is with you that i am secure in the knowledge that i am allowed to disagree, and you will not dismiss me.
you are the last bastion of sanity in a world that forever privileges anarchy over peace of mind. you show the way and you do not presume to guide us along it. you point a path and we are free to choose it - or reject it and find out own. and you never never never never fail to acknowledge effort or excellence.
thank you sir, thank you Dr. A. V. Ashok.

i only wish it was not a violation to come and tell you this, because i think you should hear it right now. but...we worship from afar. so be it.