SOAP!

Bliss...

1) Sitting somewhere with friends and absolutely doing nothing.

2) Ogling at perfect strangers (mostly females)... and when eyes meet and no words are said, it means the world.

3) Feeling the happiness of my friends and family when I'm with them.

4) Travelling to places just to explore, experience and absorb.

5) A meetha paan after a heavy meal.

6) Just seeing a child smile, when they're happy.

7) Feeling wanted and needed.

8) Kadak masala chai on a monsoon ridden day.

9) Just being 'me' with people I love.

10) Doing something just for the sake of it... cause you love doing it.

11) Finally, a few shots of vodka after a tiring day and then go to sleep with half of your body conscious and the other half out of its mind.

P.S. - The last post got a comment saying I read Osho... well but Osho also said and I quote "Only if you take the responsibility for your life, can you start changing it.", so I prefer taking care of my life on my own rather than depend on others' teachings and sayings... and in that I follow the teachings of other people. Yeah! I am sort of a hypocrite!!

I am an alcoholic, an alcoholic who raises vodka in happiness and drowns in it in sadness!

But there are some fundamental rules about the way people (especially in India) treat alcoholics that I don't quite understand. I mean I have some questions - They don't want us to drink and drive and that's fine with me, but you need to have a drivers' license to buy alcohol!

And why the hell do bars and pubs have parking lots? - is it some sick joke they are trying to play with us?

The more I drink... the more clearer is the reality.

Life is a race...
How far are you willing to go?
How much are you willing to strive and compete?
What do you want to prove? And to whom? And to what ends and means?
What do you want to achieve? Fame? Glory? Recognition?
What do you need? To become a FACE among fellowmen?...ha ha ha...

How much will you let the paper define your happiness?
How crazy am I? How much more crazier can you get?
This world is a never ending wishlist...Where do you stop?
I see people and their eyes want more...they never seem to be contented...they are not happy.
They can't laugh out loud..

I can. I am happy. Happy with my Life. Happy with my Vodka.

As I lay down on the bed, lying down in semi-consciousness, I try and recollect the vague events of the past few hours. Of the vodka shots. Of the zillion fags I smoked. Of things I better not tell.

I'm now numb on the bed. I feel nothing within or without.

Hours pass by in a wink, and I'm still thinking - of that elusive female in a white dress at the bar. Of the snooker table. Of the drive back home on an old TVS Scooty. Of friends and family. Of things that really don't matter.

In between all this chaos, reality strikes. And it strikes hard. What the fish is wrong with my life? Where am I heading? Why is the world spinning out of control all around me?

And I have thoughts which are even more basic and perplexing... how this insignificant anonymous entity might feel when he finds his strengths?

But then I also realize that me being unemployed and all makes me think of nonsensical questions like...
Why am I not doing that which comes naturally to me?
Why am I not doing that which will bring out the best in me with the least resistances offered?
Why should I not be doing things that I've never imagined to be possible?
Why should we be doing the doings without the thought of mortality influencing us?

And at the end of all these drunk experiences I realize - why do we deal in almosts and approximations and never in absolutes? People never think in absolutes...well I'm blabbering.

People shouldn't get drunk when they are already out of their minds!