aloque

to say i am new to blogging would be an understatement. but i am hooked.... the first time is the most exciting time for me, in everything. well maybe not everything, i mean, i would be overly excited to find a bald spot or something, but most things are amazing when they are new.

yes? fullhyd editor

done to death?

things are great when they are new?

point taken?

ok ok no need to get abusive...(another thing that might not be too exciting)

so, anyway... i know why i am blogging, man... i want people out there to read me, to hear what i've got to say and roll their eyeballs, comment, make me think , the whole 31 (flavours at baskin robbins). a few hits wouldn't be too bad either.

talking about first times, still remember the first time i rode my bicycle...was precocious at 4 years old, went off to narayanaguda from domalguda (the names were already given by the time i got there). never got tired of driving since. mom, i think, aged a couple of years that day.

what about my first kiss, poor girl must have thought i was trying to taste her stomach or something and i was grinning like an idiot thinking "tongue action, tonnnngggg akkkkshunnnn, tungakshun un un". think i might have even said it aloud.

i remember her first kiss even better....well apparently she didn't think the first one qualified (whatever, woman! tungakshun tungakshun) she sat me down, said don't move and kissed me, slowly, without touching me at all, not lettiung me touch her, one lip then the other..most sensuous experience of my life. YET.

whoa full hyd editor?

again?

keep off the m&b stuff

aye aye sir

tungakshun tungakshun

what about the first time i  broke up then...when the bitch reached into my ....hey wait a minute ..this is the one about the good first times rite?

f*ing editor threw me off my game.

 

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: no music yet. know a good repairman?

i want to ask the poeple of hyderabad...have you ever considered the words road and safety next to each other or maybe in the same sentence?

i won't discuss helmets or seat belts which would be reserved for true afficionados of life and limb but lets just refrain from leaving our brains behind when we leave the house... not that things aren' t hard enough already...... auto drivers who think the rest of the population exists to pay their 1 and a half fares, bus drivers who don't realise the difference between crushing an ant and a child....these are serious social issues that we won't linger upon...

things peculiar to hyderabad roads are the newly rich in their spanking purple/orange/yellow eyesores, gold jewellery, gold rimmed ray-ban aviators which fortunately cover their ugly mugs, and ....get this.... 1 and a half lakh rupee music systems and portable DVD players to enjoy their favourite home movies ... all while driving with a cell phone jammed up one ear and playing with themselves watching madhuri dixit's heaving bosom on their 14" screens.

scene at masab tank.....hot shot paan chewing jewellery shop owner in his brabus engineered merc c class with DVD system smashes into the backside of another vehicle.  his eyes pop out of their sockets....he is sure the other guy was in reverse gear on the wrong side of the street.

hyderabad thumb rule for all drivers.... when in an accident, rules, norms, right and wrong take the back seat. PUBLIC SYMPATHY is everything! no. no sob stories. whoever mouths the first MAAkeLOUdayYYY wins the public over....unless the other guy throws his fists in with a BHENkiCHoot for good measure.

by now the guy gets out of his car, completes all necessary formalities regarding all female living\dead relatives of the backended victim, pays off the cop who comes in to see who disturbed his afternoon siesta, jumps back into the car....after all chholi ke peeche was just getting exciting....puts his car in reverse in the wrong lane and promptly runs over the cop who's by now counting his money.

AYYYYYY Maakeloudayyyy.

 

Current Mood: Shocked
Current Music: blaring horns

without fail, every SINGLE time, five minutes into browsing titles at a bookstore, against my every hope, there it is, an agonisingly uncontrollable urge to pee.... having agonised and attempted to control it, i KNOW.

bookstore owners haven't yet bought into the concept of having a bathroom in there store. and dare i suggest it i am met with goggling eyes as if to say " i have one at home, why do i need one here??"

my bladder is telling me to get the hell out of there but then the brain kicks in with some perverse egomania telling me " cmon you sissy...just number 1....you can hold it in. buy the book you came for ." so, faced with the prospect of finding a random loo (you wouldn't believe how hard that is... think you should take my word for it)or staying there, i stay.

here i am in the aisle crossing my legs more times than a millipede with a bad itch, squatting and pretending to get a look at the books on the low shelf, doing my best to make my frantic changes of position somehow look normal.

the voice kicks in again " cmon buddy we can do this...just a couple more minutes. easy as 123. 1 take a book, 2 walk over to the counter and pay and 3 home free... just don't think about it.....DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. "

ok i compose myself best as i can.

deep breath

deep breath

don't think about it

DAMN IT! thought about it

cross   cross    squat    stand     tiny little pirouette

grab the first book i can lay my hands on

in english. BIG BONUS

obviously the guy who leaves his bowels at home doesn't have the appropriate change and offers me a toffee.

so i take the goddamn toffee and walk out  and sure as you know .... 2 steps out of the bookstore, cannot remember why i was in such a hurry to buy a book i already had.

and i haven't even read my first copy of interpretation of dreams.

tell me i am not the only one who suffers form this terrible affliction. and all you bookstore owners send documented evidence of the existence of your bladders!!

 

Current Mood: Bored
Current Music: silence