10 Jun 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 10:03am

OBSESS: constantly! About the size of their ass, about the size of someone else's ass, movements of their boyfriend, movements of their best friend's boyfriend, shoes, whether they look fat in those shoes...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

STUDY: no self-respecting woman likes to be called ‘academically challenged’. Women are genetically programmed to cram…for anything/any classes…assignment tests, unit tests/quarter finals/cookery classes/pre-board flower arrangement tests…sheesh..the greater the amount of theory to be mugged up..the higher the satisfaction quotient! Plus have you seen those percentages – 97% in Math, 98% science, 99% Moral science!!!

LIKE DOORS TO BE OPENED FOR THEM: It’s a fact..women like doors to be opened for them as they swish by, chairs to be pulled out to park their butts on..etc etc… and puh-leez lets save that feminist claptrap for some time later after civilization! women like their men to be chivalrous, period! Just becoz a fella opens a door for you doesn’t quite mean he doesn’t think you’re capable of writing computer code or launching a space shuttle…. he’s just being nice. So chicks..relax and enjoy the attention.

CALL THEIR BOYFRIENDS CONSTANTLY: ahem…’Hi baby, I just woke up…whatcha doin?’ …’Hey snookums, I’m just brushing my teeth – whats up?’‘ hey..I’m capping the toothpaste up..what up?” …whats up? Errr…ur PHONEBILL perhaps! Crissakes woman..HANG UP!

PRETEND LIKE THEY CAN PARK CARS: gals, don’t protest. We all know..it was never a state secret!

Current Mood: Evil

9 Jun 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 8:46am

  • Eat... pretty much all the time- as long as their jaws are masticating something-anything - the contentment quotient runs high.Chips,bits of fruit, shreds of paper etc
  • Watch a lot of TV -sports, weather (satellite updates, humidity patches, Venus transiting the sun/moon/whatever), news, runs and re-runs of Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond
  • Argue - about Sonia, punctuation, sports, size of boxer shorts, who gets the remote, who gets the DVD player, how much to pay the auto-wala, was Tendulkar actually run-out...
  • Jab fingers in the air - whther it's the usual 'akhara politics' thats up for discusion, stats of some cricket match played in the Carribean, cut-offs of colleges, headbanging, pointing to direction of fire, checking which way the wind is blowing - them digits are always jabbing frantically.
  • Refuse to have baths - and thereby indulge in appallingly low standards of hygiene

women, stop grinning...there's more to come...Guy's you wanna add-on what you actually like to do?

Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: U r so vain- Carly Simon

3 Jun 2004

Jimmy Neutron- BOY GENIUS

Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 10:13pm

completely redundant title. Anyways...here is another one of my gems..hee hee..(this is what is called Underemployed! hyuk!) THE FOLLOWING PIECE IS FOR ANYONE WHO'S BEEN BULLIED IN FRIENDSHIP (one of the best feelings ever!)


They say you have to get down with the dogs to get the fleas,

Sweeping away me begs, me rants, me pleas

Despite me emotions reigned in on a petit petit leash

I find myself giving way...

Like a pooch in the park,

A grin...

 stupid, evident and stark

a huge smouldering ember,

where me brain should be

glowing like a star,

a whatchamacallit a quark?


pooh pooh romance, pish-tosh flowers,

not game for me


a tug here, a tumble,

watch that punch there!

more physical violence-
and i'm game - as game as game can be!


Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: NUTHIN