aloque

Last night I was up watching the Euro '04 match between England and France, and I fell asleep to the best game in ages! I spent all day today damning myself. However, this post is not about sports. Well, in a way it is. It is about life away from work. I have always been going on over here about work. I love it, no doubt, but I think I would get sick of it if it were the only thing in my life. It always fills me with wonder, sometimes envy, sometimes scorn, sometimes sadness, when I see a person who does nothing but work. Has no time for himself, for broadening his horizons. A lot of times I felt like they have more dedication, a better work ethic, more sincerety in their closed little worlds. I found I was so wrong when I had to work with them. They invariably do not have the diversity required to handle people from different walks of life. Unfortunately, I have to deal with people like this more than people in other professions. Having a single minded focus often takes you far in this field that is academically oriented for as long as one lives. I have always appreciated that, not having it in the same copious quanities myself. When I see them try to emotionally relate to a patient, its sad that they are all at sea.

So, I walked into the hospital today and when all the doctors had a break, I made the mistake of introducing the topic of last night's game. I was met with blank stares. I couldn't handle being asked what Euro '04 was. Back when I was in Inter about 6 years ago, there was a woman who topped my class all the time. One day we were discussing how Jurassic Park 2, which had just come out then, was a lousy movie. I would have forgotten totally about it except that she asked me what Jurassic Park was. I know that there is prolly nothing she lost by not knowing that. She used the time I spent watching a bad movie to study. And study. She went to a better college. Prolly studied there as well. Isn't it important to have an identity beyond work? Isn't it important to have a personality? Isn't life about self discovery? How can you work towards a future that never comes?

That girl had ambition. And determination. She wanted to be rich and have a lot of cars and a big bungalow in a posh neighbourhood. She never said anything about happiness. I dunno if she even thought about it. Of course she did. Who doesn't think of happiness?That's why we are here, right? How many people dare to pursue it then? How many prefer the relative safety of ignorance rather than risk a broken dream or two?

I am reminded of 'another brick in the wall' part 2 video, about the factory manufacturing students. I am surrounded by faceless people who merge into one another so much that I find it difficult to remember their names sometimes. I have a friend who has a common name for all of them. The Vasudevans. Its a unisex term for the faceless. It depresses me to think of the monotony of their lives.

Be born. Go to school. Start studying. Never follow on a crush ( I am hoping they have them). Go to college. Continue studying. Join a professional education course. More studying. The other sex is still taboo. Finish the course. Put up name in all the matrimonials. Find decent guy/gal from the same caste. Match horoscopes. Get married. Make more kids like themselves.

We must be the only country in the world so obsessed with becoming our parents.

Current Music: children of the grave - Blak Sabbath - Ozzy rules