Posted by D.Raw El Payne 27 June 2004, 11:55pm

Greetings dear folks,

Before we start this journey I see it only fit that I give a small prelude on whats to follow. This boy,girls and buttharis is "Too many secrets", the purpose of this blog right here. I had put this project on the backburner for a while till I'd amassed enough information and know-how about the subjects involved. But this afternoon has turned everything topsy-turvy. I like to refer to it as "The Jalianwala Blog Massacre". Well if thats that, this would be have to be the Chainsaw Massacre equivalent. This ,if it stays, will be the THE Chainsaw driven right through your brains.

Disclaimer : All persons/beings/buttharis mentioned here are completely fictitious (except for buttharis). They bear no resemblance to any real life character ( know who). Everything I mention as characteristics about the below-mentioned beings is pure falsehood.

Let the maiming begin.

Chapter I

Mulavana Bhattathiri

For - Has a name which includes the word "butt"

     -  Can type , and use a computer. Would also be very useful in a DTP workshop. 

     - Has a name which is an anagram for "Butt Hairy", which I have a scary liking to.

     - Gives me a reason to blog.

Against - His real name IS BUTT HAIRY!! **rolls eyes**

           - Was born.

           - Learnt to use a computer.

           - Lives, breathes and copy-pastes.

           - Seems to have an affair with Picchi Panthulu, whom I'm madly in love with.

           - Could also be Jagannath Adukur 

Known Traits - Will post for anything and nothing.

                        - Scratches butt....OBVIOUSLY its SOOO hairy down there.

                        - Geriatric porn

                        - Smelly butt which sometimes act as an aphrodisiac. Known victims namely, Picchi Panthulu. Where's your panchi PP?

                        - Makes me blog. Gives me a reason to live. Gives me hope for a better tomorrow. Gives me passion to long for PP all my life( and his panchi...still lookin for it? I GOT IT!!).

Real Names and Aliases - Mulavana Bhattathiri

                                          - Old farthole

                                          - Jagannath Adukur (maybe, my informants are not sure about this)

                                          - Trichotilo Asspipihilia (pronounce it right folks,he's a bit "touchy" abt it...if u know wat i mean...pipiphilia>> PP Feel ya? )


Till our next Payneful encounter,



Special Mentions : As my informants/bloodhounds could not dig up enough from Picchi Pantulu's panchi, you will not see him mentioned in these chapters. Though a word from my sponsors about me : "He (I) being him will do this sort of thing only. You being you can go screw that can of worms you always wanted." Another word from my sponsors : " You being you, WITHOUT YOUR PANCHI, are advised to visit our retail outlet of Chandana Bros at Ameerpet. Call us, your panchi will be worth the wait."

Current Mood: Triumphant
Current Music: Just the intoxicating buzz in my head while i type this.

Posted by D.Raw El Payne 27 June 2004, 2:26pm

By "this whole world", I mean, these blogs.

In the last 10 minutes, new blogs have been churned out by a lot of people using their real names. Not that I have a problem with that, but I do. The most recent blog by one of my favorite bloggers here has been buried under the rubble. I see that he's removed it off the site now. Ah well. People/Gentlemen/Ladies/Alien beings from the 10th rock, if you have so much to post in your blog, why don't u put it in frequent intervals? Why do you have to crawl out from under your rocks all of a sudden on a clear sunday afternoon and post away till kingdom come? Why am I wasting my time and patience posting on a seemingly mundane matter like this?

Why,why WHY?

'Coz there comes a time in every man's life, when you DRAW A LINE. People who are posting this afternoon* - THE LINE IS A DOT TO YOU!

Direct translation of scriptures and tips to lead a healthy life. I THINK I can search for these on (try it,its a nice site). I've been trying to put on a calm front till now but.. Ok,I have to say it. WAT THE FUCK?!!! They say anger is the worst emotion,it clouds ur judgement and hinders your thinking. If thats the case, I'm a stark-raving psycho LUNATIC RITE NOW!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!


Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!

Thank you,



* Jagannath Adukur (is that all or is there another appendage?!) and Mulavana Bhattathiri(thats a long name too :| )

Current Mood: Destructive
Current Music: Black Eyed Peas - Where is the love ?

Posted by D.Raw El Payne 27 June 2004, 10:21am

U read it rite!! goddam bitch got to it before i did. lost my appetite for writin coherent sentences...

Jus wanted to say Kill Bill Vol.2 rocks!! Though yawn-inspiring in a couple 'o moments, its awe-inspiring for the major part. Not as fast-paced as KB V.1 but totally totally compensated for by d kik-arse ending. If KB V.1 was a cinematic orchestra composed to perfection, KB V.2 is the masterpiece which gives clear definition to the earlier part. Seldom are sequels worth the watch...but heck...this ain't no sequel...dis is jus a continuation...doh! i hav an amazin knack of makin meself redudant apparently.....:-S

In other news,i'm plotting a major MAJOR major eyeball-jumpin-outta-sockets balls-droppin-outta-sacks MAJOR consipiracy here....shall keep ya posted. this is all jus to give my blog's TITLE some meaning.

"too many secrets"? U BET UR ASS!!

watch  this space....all ye critters.


Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: my speakers seem to be broke.

Posted by D.Raw El Payne 27 June 2004, 12:54am

Another day. Another year gone by. Another mark etched on my life's clay tablet. Another morning spent on FHDB. Another opportunity to answer umpteen calls with people saying "Myany Hyappy Returns my boy/dahlin/baby/bhench**t/dude/f*kker". Another reason to smile and say "Thank you SO much". Another lunch with a group of friends ,who be always late. Another cake cut ,in a manner which can only be described as "savaged", and thrust into my mouth with equal savagery(gross). Another movie(awe-inspiring). Another dinner with my family and other assorted creatures. Another moment to cherish. Another night to sit back and reflect where life is taking me, or where I'm taking my life. Another prayer offered to a God who bestows seemingly countless blessings. Another year to look forward to. Another ray of hope that love will find a way into my life. Another minute passing me by while I think for another "Another...". Another reason to blog.

Just another day?

I would like to think not, though deep in my mind's abyss I know that it'll end up that way. From one June 26th to the next, life never eases up on the throttle. Not that I'm complaining, the last 365 days have been awesome to say the least(..considerin i can't seem to find another word to express meself rite now, AWESOME will hav to do). At the risk of sounding like another of those f*cking celebrities, I had a great time getting in touch with my "inner-me" (whatever that means!!).  I do not think talking about the year gone by is relevant in a place where few of you would relate to it. I have a lot to look forward to though, blogging incessantly here would be just be one of the that "lot".

When I started this blog, I decided to make this as disconnected as possible with as much crap mixed with as much pseud-intellect I could cough up. This post has nothing to do with either of those. I shall return to crap here very soon. VERY VERY soon.


Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: The sound of my ceiling fan and the sporadic bursts of my dogs barking. The wind makin d trees swoosh.

Posted by D.Raw El Payne 27 June 2004, 12:49am

ah a ah ah...stayin alive...stayin alive....stayin aaaaaaaliiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeee....


expected more?

too bad.

this is jus to get d bitch off d top three new posts.

thanks yous all of yous.

d DBs are dyin i tell u...DYING!

Current Mood: Heroic
Current Music: Stayin alive...DUH!