6th July 2004
Someone asked me if writing for an audience is bad. Well, not really. Many people make a good living off that. There are also many people that try to do that their entire life, unsuccessfully. Yet their regret remains that they weren't appreciated and not that they did not make enough money. There is absolutely nothing wrong with writing for an audience. But, there is something wrong in imposing expectations on the audience. Then there are bound to be disappointments. There are bound to be compromises in my own work. In an ideal world writing and appreciation should remain separate things, with appreciation following the writing, and the appreciatio should then be only a confirmation of self worth and not a definition of it. I mean, I cannot think of myself differently every time I post and receive comments that I like or do not.
That begs the question, who then is the audience that I want to impress? Is it FA, queen of the charts, who will not comment unless she can start off a witty repartee or make the comments a debate? Is it PMoW who has decided to form his opinions and stick to them at too early an age? Is it sweet Aran, who has nothing to say if it is not nice? Is it AR who says nothing at all in his morbid style most of the time? Is it DRP, whose brashness is inadequate cover for a mind that is capable of thought? Is it Mr. N who is a better writer than his endless conversations with the FH team might lead anyone to think? Is it the Princess, who I idolise as someone who follows her heart? Is it for the hundreds of others who read me but were uninspired to say anything at all? Is it me, bereft of any self esteem, not knowing what to think of what I wrote unless someone else tells me? Once that train of thought has left the station, the answer becomes a foregone conclusion. It has to be me. Now is the hard part. Writing and not caring about the consequences. It will happen sooner rather than later.
Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: none