Here's the second edition of my ground-breaking Too Many Secrets. A while ago, I promised you of a "lotta different shit to follow".Well here it is.... This is my version of Eminem's Stan.

Disclaimer : All persons/beings/buttharis mentioned here are completely fictitious (except for buttman). They bear no resemblance to any real life character ( know who). Everything I mention as characteristics about the below-mentioned beings is pure falsehood.

Chapter II

[DRP - Payne]

feat. Ammachai n Fallen Angel n Aran


My chai's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got up to blog at all
The ammachai post clouds up my screen..
and I can't see at all
even if I could it'd all be crap
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that its not so bad,
its not so bad...

1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background
2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise

[DRP as 'Payne']

Dear Chai, I wrote but you still ain't commenting
I left my crap, my name and my mail ID in your comments
I sent ten comments back in ur blog, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the FH server or something
Sometimes I type my name too sloppy when I hit 'em
but anyways;fuck it, what's been up man? how's your neighbour's daughter?
I've got a sister too, I'm bout to be a killer
If I my neighbour had a daugher, guess what I'ma call her?
I'ma name her Mamul
I read about your Uncle Mamu too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who sold tea
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Buttman
I got a room full of your posters and your blog-printouts man
I like the shit you wrote 'bout PHD too, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you read this man, hit me back,
jus to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Payne

{Chorus: Aran}

[DRP as 'Payne']

Dear Chai, you still ain't commented or PM'ed, I hope you have a chance
I ain't mad - I just think its FUCKED UP you don't answer fans
If you didn't wanna reply to me on your blog,you dint have to,
but you coulda replied to FA's comment
That's my little sister man, she's only six years old
We waited in the blistering cold for you
four hours and you didn't say nothing
That's pretty shitty man - you're like her fucking idol
She wants to be just like you man, she likes you more than I do
I ain't that mad though, I jus don't like bein lied to
Remember when I commented on ur 1st post?- u said if I'd comment,you'd comment back
see I'm just like you in a way
I never had a mind neither;
ur neighbour used to always cheat on my dog and beat her
I can relate to what you're saying in your blogs
so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on
cause I don't really shit else so that shit helps me when I'm depressed
I even got a tatto of your name across my chest
Sometimes I even drink water to see how much I can shit
It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me
See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it
Fallen Angel's pissed cause I talk 'bout you 24/7
But she don't know you like I know you Chai, no one does
You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Payne --
P.S We should be together too

{Chorus : Aran}

[DRP as 'Payne']
Dear Mister-I'm-too-good-to-call-or-comment-my-fans,
this'll be the last post I ever write on your ass
It's been six days and still no word - I don't deserve it?
I know you got my last two comments;
I typed the names on 'em perfect
So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it
I'm on in my auto right now, I'm doing 40 on the flyover
Hey Chai, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive?
You know that blog by Fallen Angel ,"Pictures in the rain"
about the way she associates every memory with the weather?
That's kinda how this is, this rain is our memory Chai, I'm drowning, you coulda saved me
Now its too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy
and all I wanted was a lousy comment or a call
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your print-outs off the wall
I love you Chai, we coulda bin together, think about it
You ruined it now,I hope you can't blog and you dream about it
And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it
I hope your constipation EATS AT YOU and you can't SHIT without me
See Chai; { *a girl's voice screaming*} Shut up bitch! I'm tryin to talk!
Hey Slim, that's the angelsan screaming in the dicky
but I didn't slit her throat, I jus tied her up n stuffed her in there+, see I ain't like you
cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too
Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the end now,
Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out?
{**auto front tire squeals**}{**CRASH**}
...{**brief silence**}...{LOUD splash}

{Chorus : Aran}

[DRP as 'Ammachai']
Dear Payne, I meant to comment sooner but I jus been busy
You said your neighbour has a daughter, how cute is she?
Look, I'm really flattered you would call her that
and here's an autograph for your sister,
I wrote it on the $10.000 watch,
I'm sorry I didn't answer you on my blog, I musta missed you
Don't think I did that shit intentionally jus to diss you
But what's this shit you said about you like to drink water?
I say that shit jus clownin dogg
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
You got some issues Payne, I think you need some counselling
to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get a writer's block
And what's this shit about us meant to be together?
That type of shit'll make me want us to make out with each other
I really think you and The Angel need each other
or maybe you jus need to treat her better
I hope you get to read this comment, I jus hope it reaches you in time
before you shit yourself crazy, I think that you'll be doin just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Payne
why are you so mad? Try to undastand, that I do want you as a fan
I jus dun want you to do some crazy shit
I seen this one shit on a blog a couple nights ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and drove his auto right off TankBund
and had a girl in the dicky, and she was stuffed under the engine
and in the auto they found a tape,but they didn't say to who it was to
Come to think about, his name was you


Special Mentions :  Eminem and Dido for composing a kik-arse track. I hope Baap('cuz, damn can he rap!) and Aran do justice to the Payneful version. Chapter II would have been 'bout the maastah, but due to some unforeseen events, that was not possible. This is a triple whammy.

Till our next Payneful encounter,


+ Back-engined auto.

Current Mood: Cold
Current Music: Eminem - Cleaning out my closet ..after meditating on Stan all through this post.