27 Jul 2004
Just...
It’s amazing how some people seem to have all the clarity in the world. To put down, in black and white words that were once dimensions of unwieldy emotions splitting at the seams.
When I sit down to write, my thoughts just go into a never-ending spiral – kind of like watching a mirror reflected in a mirror, in a mirror, in a mirror…
Most times, it is about surrounding a miniscule grain of truth with noncommittal words that add no value to the grain. Pretty words that are complete in themselves, and yet the sum of the parts never really amounts to much.
How simply some write about love and hurt and heartbreak and wrenching pain and joy and wonder… when none of these so-called emotions have ever gathered the courage to stare at you shame-facedly – in all their nudity.
And soon it becomes important as to who’s reading it. And sooner than that, the words take on a life of their own; they self-consciously seek the diplomatic path – fearing saying too much, or much worse – too little.
Your thoughts, far from being your own, are now part of the collective conscious… and have committed themselves to conformity.
Perhaps, words, like emotions fade away with time –lose their fervour and die like martyrs. That probably explains why my eight standard diary far from recounting the emotional upheaval of a 14 yr old now sounds like the ultimate Freudian delight.
Guess I’m doing the whole noncommittal words thing right now…I suppose this calls for identifying the grains of truth after all.
Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: To the moon n back
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