Somebody stop me!

aloque | 29 Jul 2004, 8:52am

I know that I was speculating before that the universe might be contriving to make me more than I deemed possible. But, that was just speculation. And as most speculation is, it is more prone to be wrong than right. Except that this speculation is not. Not wrong, that is. The universe is showing me the time of my life right now, and very dangerously erasing from my mind all the pessimism that says that things are too good to be true, thereby leaving me defenseless against possible disaster. I am in a mindlessly happy state, and all those out there thinking 'manic depressive' - who made you the expert? If I have one complaint against the universe is that it is without a sense of balance. Well, when it comes to me anyway. When it rains, it pours is the cliche that suits my life best right now. And unusually I am ripping my helmet off to get drenched instead of waiting for the storm to pass.

What I am saying is that there is no point in approaching things half heartedly. Either I be the grand wuss that I am or go cold turkey and give it my all and expose myself to horrible and unimaginable pain. I play the safety first game better than anyone else. And as we all wear our various facades, some of them do take over parts of our lives and become us. We cannot all be Dorian whose picture gets the worst of his actions. In our frantic efforts to present our best selves, we scar the only self we have, however damned ugly it is, and some scars are permanent.

This is a good time to say to all those people out there that have brightened up my life over the past few weeks that I am over the moon that I had the opportunity to meet them.

TP - wazaaa man, you the winner.

Current Mood: Grand
Current Music: none