17 Aug 2004

Just once

Posted by Pye in Poetry | 9:55am


To live just once
Inside my head
Where darkness implodes
on itself...

Where I look closely
at myself
Hating the total
worthlessness

To see just once
Through your eyes
Where beauty reigns
absolute...

Where I fall in love
once again
With all that is
purely me.

Different points of view. Each person comes into a relationship with his own baggage, his own beliefs, values, confused thoughts and a unique combination of circumstances which make him what he is at any given point of time. To see another's point of view exactly as he sees it himself... is that truly possible? Sometimes it just is... and then you have to decide whether you like the view. Thinking... maybe you really are wrong and he is right. The maybes are tough. The thinking is draining.

What happened last night?

Half-baked thoughts, these.



Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Something Stupid

7 Aug 2004

Of You

Posted by Pye in Poetry | 2:02pm


Sifting
through what I have of you
Precious little, I realise

Two brittle roses
Red
long dead
Pressed into forgotten books.

My name in blue
On snowy white
inside a star
Surrounded by you.

A yellow scrap
of soothing feelings
naughty thoughts
and yearning wants.

And lastly --
Those memories
Pasted painstaking in the scrapbook
in a part of my mind
Constant. Comforting. Hurting.
Our memories.

Sometimes what we have of someone is so little, compared to what that person was, has been, will always be in our lives. I guess material things do not matter. This was meant as a dedication when I thought our relationship had come to an end. Now I wonder if it will ever end. Never seeing each other again, no contact... is that an end?



Current Mood: Cold
Current Music: Rules - Chhodo na mujhe

2 Aug 2004

Raindance

Posted by Pye in Poetry | 7:36pm


Leaden skies and heavy grayness. Delicious fried corn-on-the-cob scents in the air. Memories of days past... and ones from those I've yet to make. Each day the same, blending into each other. Shouts from the children playing outside, quibbling self-importantly. I smile as the memories surface... I've done the same. Palms wrapped around the mug filled with steaming coffee, I lean over the railing of the balcony. Part of a scene - the unseeing observer.

Thoughts criss-cross my mind. I revisit days long gone. Walking through mood-induced by-ways... and smiling at the girl I was. (I think I liked her.) Too many soul-less grey days hover.... A later me, a different time, yet the same. Days gone by without a thought. Wasted, in the innocence which time eventually steals from us... those days would never come back. The memories just linger vaguely. Perennial deja vu.

A deep breath of the clean, fresh air heavy with the promise of rain. The dark skies get darker, I feel more alone. Lost. The thunderstorm is here. The first round plop raindrop bursts lazily on the asphalt road.

The raindance begins.



Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: Nothing

1 Aug 2004

Tears

Posted by Pye in Poetry | 1:00pm


The first tears gathered up all the hurt in my eyes and washed them out, creating a path down my dry cheeks, on to my chin; and dripped down, away from me. Again and again, as my soul replenished the drowned sadness in my eyes. The tears worked overtime, leaving my eyes empty; only to be filled with hurt yet again.

Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: No good emotes. No music. I hate this part of posting.