Tonight, I helped an old woman cross the road. And, though I did have that glow of 'doing your good deed for the day' for a while it quickly faded and I was overcome by a different kind of emotion.

Why do people have to grow old? Why can't they just decide to die someday without going through the misery of old age? Is old age life's way of handing back to us what we gave others during those moments of youthful indiscretion?

Every once in a while when I decide to do the grocery, I see old couples walking down the street carrying a few bags in their old wrinkled hands that contain the provisions that would get them through the week. Their children are probably sitting comfortably in their plush apartments somewhere in New York or Seattle oblivious to what their parents have to go through just to make sure that food gets to their table.

Is it what I will go through once I get... I can't even get myself to say the 'O-L-D' word. It is too scary a thought that someday it will be my turn. I will be that man who has to walk the road everyday to buy provisions because he is too weak to carry a month's supply. Someday it will be I who has to seek help to cross the road. Someday these legs would be too old to walk a mile and the hands too old to hold a cup of tea. Someday I would die. That would be deliverance. But, why do I have to go through suffering before that?

I do not believe in the doctrine of karma that says people only get what they deserve. What is the fault of an infant born into a family so poor and undernourished that his mother is not strong enough to be able to breast feed him? However bad his karma might have been does it really justify his not getting food, the basic right of every animal on this planet?

May be it is not. May be it is just God's way of pleasing his sick ego that he is all pervading and powerful. May be that is how he gets his kicks by playing with us. May be God himself is not so perfect after all. May be all the praises that we sing for him are overrated. May be he is the devil's alter ego. Who knows?

But, what I do know for certain is that a person so infinitely capable of compassion as he is made out to be is not capable of causing hurt and sufferring. So, may be I am right. He is, for all that he wants us to think, just a slob like one of us. Or may be he is us. All of us, manifested into one supreme being having great power and, along with it, great chances of abusing that power.

That hurts. We all know that evil is supposed to do, well, evil. But is God not supposed to thwart all its schemes? Is that not the very purpose of his being? Then why is he not fulfilling that purpose? Perhaps he is just a conniving heartless soul. If all people were happy and content, would he not be out of business? Then how does he differ from Microsoft?

The truth is, he doesn't.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: Nothing... just pent up frustration

There is something about nasal mucus that lures me to it. Mind you, it strictly has to be my mucus to be alluring. I wonder why other people do not have mucuses that are as charming as mine.

On the surface, my mucus might appear to you like any other's. But, that is only on the surface. Even you would not be so shallow to only go by the way things look on the surface. You must dig deeper, though, in this case, I would offer to dig for you. Is that not absolute bliss? Your workload has been reduced to almost nothing.

It is very difficult for me to detail the various properties of this wonderful fluid that make it so, well for paucity of a better descriptive, wonderful without sounding blatantly immodest and blaise. That is not a concern of mine, anyway. However, for greater common good (yeah, sometimes even I do that), I should like to warn those afflicted, or potentially afflicted, with inferiority complex to proceed with extreme caution. Would not want to be the cause for aggravating the intensity of your psycological disorders.

For one, the fluid in question has an amazingly uniform consistency - the kind you find in the air of Class 1 clean rooms. It has a smooth lamillar flow. It leaves no stains on white shirts. The colour is a beautiful shade of hazel-green. It is incompressible, with very high tolerances to large variations in temperature and pressure. And, most important, it is always available, without exception. In a nutshell, it is the perfect incompressible fluid.

It has varied applications, the most popular being its use as an adhesive. It makes a very good cleaning agent for Television screens (it is as on date in the test phase for cleaning computer monitors but the initial results are encouraging). Some have also reported to have used it as a cooling fluid, thanks to its high conductivity and heat transfer capabilities, although this application is not recommended by the International Union of Pure and Applied Nasal Mucus or IUPANM. Its use as a lubricant, though not widespread, is picking up and the IUPANM highly recommends it.

A few innovators have also proposed that it be used as a fire douser. So far, no adverse results have been reported but it is still too early to say if a reaction with water at high temperatures could be catastrophic. However, its application to elevate the boiling point of fluids has been cleared by experts.

Experiments conducted thus far have reported no untoward side effects of the fluid. But, it is always best to proceed with caution. A little bit of safety never hurt anyone, right? But, before using it make sure you do it under adult supervision and do not wear clothing that might stick to your body. Avoid using it at night, and if you really need to make sure that you use it outdoors.

Hope you have a good time using it. In case of dissatisfaction with the product, try your own mucus and compare results to this wonder fluid. You would be surprised at the amazing deal you got.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: 18 till I die...

There are somethings that defy logic. Like, if there is sky above and ground below all you need is Master Card. As if anyone in their right minds would want to travel to the bowels of the earth or upper reaches of the atmosphere solely for the purpose of swiping their plastic. That is not the only thing that defies logic. There is also this blog.

Sometimes I shudder to think what I would have done if had not given us the feature of blogs. Blogged elsewhere? Not a chance in hell! You see, that is what sets people like me apart. We never take the logical route to anything. We might travel to Jhumritalayya (for the uninitiated, that place sends in the most number of requests for Cibaca Geetmaala on Vividh Bharati) by Bus but we would almost never take a plane to it, mostly because it does not have an airstrip but that is besides the point.

The point is what would have happened if did not exist. I would probably have ended up blowing a couple of million of my fortune on buying Penguin Books so that I could get my ramblings published. Except that I do not have one. Not fortune, silly. Ramblings. Everyone I have met has assured me I don't. Not ramblings, silly. Fortune. But that would not deter a man with as strong a resolve as mine, would it? The fact that does indeed exist would.

Also, I am yet to come across such a man. The man with that kind of resolve, silly. What makes you think that I would ever want to buy up Penguin Books? I already have Not bought it, silly. I just have it to post blogs and use up gigabytes upon gigabytes of diskspace on the web. Not have as in 'have your soup', silly. Just plain and simple have as in 'have a house'. Not that I have a house for any other purpose other than that of possession. But, that does not mean I possess or even that I am possessed by it.

There are somethings that defy login. No, I did not make a gaffe. Windows, for instance, always has. Made a gaffe, and defied login. Perhaps that was too harsh. On windows users. I rephrase - 'Made gaffes and defied login'. That it also defies logic is not something I hold against it. Expectations must always be reasonable.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: The soft hum of the ceiling fan...

Very few events have an impact on me which is so profound that it makes a dent on my ego. After all, it does take a lot to fish on dry land.

A few days ago, as I was happy and cheerful, I knew things were not very right. Some part of the universe had gone drastically wrong. It is not often that I am happy and cheerful. And it is not often that things don't go wrong.

I visit the blogs home page of and I see that I have been plonked off the most popular blogs list! That is something a man can take lying down. But, being plonked off the list by two people in one day is not something any homo sapien who calls himself even remotely human would take very kindly to.

What does that mean? No, I am not referring to what a human being can take kindly to. I am concerned with the big picture. In the over all context of things, this could have a potentially profound impact on the world of blogging. It could change the face of blogging as we have come to know it.

Depending on whether your tastes are classy or slapstick, not necessarily in that order, you would be in a state of either lament or ecstasy, again, not necessarily in that order. But this post is not about you - why would I ever write about anyone other than me? And, it is not about me, either. Man, what is going on with me? I am actually not writing about me? Well, I guess the impact is already being felt and is much more sinister than I had previously fathomed it to be.

Those who have been following my blog (that <i>handful</i> of the most <i>blessed junta</i> on fullhydblogs) would know that I have made a habit of writing on subjects which, ideally, should not even come under the defintion of the word. Others <b>had</b> been lucky - until now, that is. As Cypher would have said, "Why oh why didn't you go elsewhere?" Need I say any more?

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: Main shayar to nahin...

The only thing worse than being stuck in your office after dark is being stuck in your office after dark on a rainy night with a bunch of guys when you are strictly a heterosexual male.

However, that in no way means that this is the worst thing that can happen to a heterosexual male. Picture being stuck in an elevator with a supermodel when the only other person riding it with you is an eighty year old woman. May be that is not so bad also. But what about being stuck in an elevator alone with a supermodel when you happen to be on lent?

That has got to take the cake for it all. It either takes a superhuman resolve to not succumb to temptation or takes none at all to succumb to it. That is the easy part. The real difficult part lies in the process of deciding what your next course of action should be. Should you or shouldn't you, that is the ultimate question.

It has no easy answer. You may succumb to it, but you end up thinking all your life that you are a lesser man, a man who has no control over his mind, a man who has absolutely no will power. And, if you do not succumb to it you may hit 70 and rue the fact that you let a god-send opportunity go abegging.

This is a difficult choice to make. The women might differ on this (What do they know, anyway? They are women, for God's sake!) but any "normal" male who spends one-third of his life thinking of sex and the remaining two-thirds thinking of ways to think of sex would appreciate the gravity of the situation.

Before my words become conclusive, thereby ruining their impact, it is important that I should clearly state that the person in question is not yours truly, was not yours truly and would never be yours truly - I normally don't think, so there arises no question of my racking my brains. I would do what any hormonally active male would. The alternative would never occur to me - also because to me there appears to be none. I mean what are the odds of my ever being on lent? One needs to have a sex life for that, right?

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: Carpenters - Top of the World
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