Pick me up. Im easy

aloque | 24 Aug 2004, 4:23pm
What is the best way to approach a girl? I mean for an average Joe (with the apparent success of TV land's Joe with women, I am forced to reconsider and will henceforth call the average clueless man, an average aloque, which if you ask me or not slips off the tongue much better) .. so what does an average aloque do when he faces the women of the world, and more importanty, what does he do when he chances upon the women that he finds interesting?

Does he bring on his best Pierce Brosnan impression. It will only be about 2 seconds before she notices the nailcutter on his keychain isn't a controller for the latest BMW. Also, Mr. Brosnan, I am reliaby told, does not write the suave, charming lines he mouths off. I am also told that he takes an inhuman amount of time to learn up those lines. And that they are written by another average aloque somewhere in the world who has all these beautiful feelings inside of him, but lacks the Brosnan delivery style.

Should he bring out his tight Brad Pitt body? Well, if he had one he wouldn't really be the average aloque now, would he? It still remains a sad fact of the average aloque's life that he looks better with his clothes on. Not good, just better.

So, does he bring out the Superman costume he has been so carefully hiding behind his thick glasses? Not when women are his kryptonite and he needs the reflective capabilities of his lead rimmed glasses to protect himself.

Does he roam the alleys behind DRDL hoping to be bitten by a radioactive spider? (Does a radioactive dog count? I mean, is there any woman attracting potential for SuperSnoopy?)

In the end he is forced to be himself, and a lot of good that has done for him on the past. He has found that the direct approach is not the best way to go, and that still puzzles him, despite his vast IQ. Painful episodes that flash into his mind

The average aloque and attractive women incidents to date:


AAA = an average aloque
AWA = attractive woman being approached

INCIDENT 1 - The woman in college. AAA has talked to her a couple of times and thinks this is a good time to let her know...

AAA = hi, ahem, hey, I think you are interesting and would like to get to know you better. So, can I call you sometime?
AWA = well, I don't really answer telephones.

C'mon what does one say to that? - " Oh. Really? How normal. I suppose you have an allergic reaction to instruments that speak to you, or hey, here's an idea....maybe it's me?"

Instead AAA = oh, ok. Guess I'll see you around sometime.
Of course, he avoids her like the plague for the rest of his life. And she's happy as pie.

INCIDENT 2 - The woman at the party. So AAA thought she smiled at him and he decides to let her know...

AAA (putting telephone allergy girl in a dark cage at the back of his mind) = Hi, I am aloque, and you are...
AWA = I don't have a name.









So, the AAA is not quick on the retort, but he is usually on the thin line between self confidence and self loathing, and this pushes him back a couple of points on the happiness scale. And many rungs on the social interaction ladder.

In any case, the AAA likes to save face as much as the next dude...

AAA = ok then, its nice not to meet you.
AWA (still registering while he walks away)

INCIDENT 3 - AAA sick of all the pressure of coming up with clever lines (or) Why should the guy take all the pressure?

AAA = Hi. Reject me.
AWA = What??
AAA = I am interested in you and I am not going to go away until you reject me.
AWA = sod off, you psycho.
AAA = Sorry, not good enough. You need to be cleverer.
AWA = Ok then, I am going to call the cops.
AAA = oh! the cops don't answer telephones. Didn't you know that?

As you probably have guessed, this is all in the AAA's head but he needs his release.

All in all, the women of today have repeatedly said that they want a smart, sensitive guy who can be understanding, who has a sense of humour. They have also gone on record saying that he needn't be a Pierce Brosnan or a Brad Pitt, but they expect all the not so cool dudes to be Clark Kent or Peter Parker. So, this average aloque is shooting off his mouth. He needs his release too.

These are thoughts that have been in my head for a while and reading a fellow blogger this morning, they have reached a point that they can be put in black and white.

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: microtone piano experiments