I insisted on changing some names for privacy sake. So incase ur name is mentioned below, most prolly it is not u. :D

DISCLAIMER: Please read the excerpt below, keeping in mind that most of the things said are either flase or have been blown out of proportion. This is done generally to make a pleasant profile read, instead of making it a CV or an autopbiography. :)

PS: I m still single. :)

ME aka. Johnny aka. Sandy

Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

!!!!!

Sandy loves Mitu

This DASA from Nakuru, Kenya was temporarily better known as Mukesh, cause of his buddy-pally relationship with his dad. They are so close that Mukesh never let Ab feel the loss of a love consultant. It is well known that he is Ab's inspiration to go on in all his affairs. Ab is characterized by his 'silent' and his 'aged' look. While

he stood at the PA on his first day in hostel, flanked by 3 other male family members, his roommate had a tough time figuring out which one of them was to be his roomie! Probably why nobody in his freshie wing believed he was anything under 22. AB's Shut-Up syndrome is the most 'stunning' of all his traits, i.e. Under

special circumstances, Ab just shuts up.

Theorem1: Ab keeps quiet when more that 3 people are in the room.

Revised Theorem 1: Ab keep quiet when more that one girl is in the vicinity.

Re-Revised Theorem 1: Ab is just too cool to talk.

Ah, but when AB DOES talk, the fun begins. He is infamous for his dirty jokes. Well, if you understand them, they'll have you laughing for ages. And he's known for his gujju-african dialogues - There is a bitch (beach) just

outside his house in Kenya, we hear. He'd go there every wick (week). In school he lived in the dome (dorm). Now over time and in the presence of his talkative roommate, Ab learnt the ways of life. He took one step too many and tried to become humorous. Unfortunately, that didn't quite work out.

A classic Ab joke. Sitting in the second row of the class, Ab was quietly gathering all the n-degree differential equations written on the board. The Prof, takes a minute and clarifies the problem with a real world example. He says, imagine a lizard was here (pointing to the roof) and wanted to come down to this wall (pointing at some wall), now what would be the shortest path for the lizard to take? Prof. looking at the class earnestly, HOPING for an answer. Ab , as usual, took up the challenge, and said ' Sir wont the lizard just FLY from here to there' Prof looking a little lost. Ab clarifies..' Sir , the lizard is in the AERO department'. The look on the Prof's face indicated that he'd probably hadn't heard such a thing in his 20 odd years as a Prof and 50 odd years as a human being.

Ab has been the 'Last Samurai' for his never ending fighting spirit, academically of-course. He fought for 10 days to attain a 10-day extension for his BTP. Ab's presentation techniques should be introduced to freshies as part of their orientation and Ab's seminar presentation, should go down in the history books of IIT. Like for most of us, it was a last minute copy-paste struggle. But in this case, our man had little, actually, had NO clue what he was pasting. Come the day of the presentation, while the others present, Ab sits besides the DR1 and tries to make

some sense of what he has submitted as a report. He jots all the important key words for each slide on a piece of paper. Then confidently strolls up to present, in his jeans and untucked shirt(another trademark) and begins. What struck everyone there was his inability to complete a sentence without "and all that" Obviously by the end of the presentation, his poor examiner is lost. He didn't understand a thing, but Ab's confidence has him doubting himself. So he tries his luck and quizzes Ab on some diagram. Ab, once again, confidently, asks for a marker, walks to the white board, chalks out 4 tiny squares and looks at the Prof as though to say ' this should clear things up'. By now the examiner has realized that Ab is on a level way higher than his own and any attempt to reach it is futile. No more questions. Ab cracks. Juniors LEARN - btp and seminar presentations are ALL about attitude.

Now lets move to the spicy part of Ab's life. His love life. Women are attracted to this smooth talking machine like a moth to a flame. Its also to be noted that Ab's time duration in a relationship has been exponentially decreasing, before he came to IIT that is. His first one , was a painful 2 years, then came a fling of 13 days and

then came (we don't know what to call it) something lasting a few hours(6-7 we think)!!

Let us demonstrate his smooth-talking quick-wit with one-of- his-many women.

Setting: Kenyan forest. Night time. Ab, sitting in the back of a truck, with his

crush (AK) lying on his lap. The moon shines in the night sky, creating a romantic,

NO, electric atmosphere.

AK: Wow, the moon looks so beautiful tonight.

AB: nods in approval.

Suddenly dark clouds cover the moon.

AK: awww..i can't see the moon anymore.

Ab, Staring into her eyes, gazing at her face

AB: I can

SCORE!! AK had no idea what hit her. She was drawn to him like a magnet.

Now, coming to his college life. Ab was known to chase anything in a skirt. Ironically his current hottie A SAUNA has probably never worn one. Ab was smitten by her the very first time he laid eyes on her .He made that very clear to all his potential competitors (which were many). They, obviously smart enough to realize a lost battle, backed off. And 6 months later, *BAM*, Ab made his move; once again the woman had no clue what hit her.

Ab's_women_counter++

Ab has many many more eccentricities, like his 6-figure bank balance, his anti-India demonstrations at the TV room, his advice to buy booze from wine shops rather than restaurants and so on. And though we give him a tough time, we love him very much. He is one of the few truly simple people around and genuine sportsman. He

has a job offer waiting for him back home with Kenya Airways and we wish him the very best of luck and hope he enjoyed his little stint in India.

His chinki looks may deceive you of his origins which are firmly rooted in bihar. He has firm belief that India can prosper only under bihari?s control. But his long term association with Dasas has instilled NRI attitude in him which is amply reflected by his possessions like bike, comp with sound boosters, mobile & wide range of cosmetics the money for which comes from his undoubtful extraordinary JEE teaching skills. His abnormal command over English with bihari accent is well demonstrated after getting drunk. Jab yeh kisi ko gaali dete hain to bitch ko beach bolte hai. Is NRI ki coefficient of authenticity is 0.25 bole to agar woh 8 bottles beer peene ka claim karta hai , as he usually does, then actually he hasn?t had an intake of more than 2 bottles. Phir mat kehna babu daru peekar danga karta hai.

Daaru peene ke baad yeh apne aapko nawab-e-hind samjhne lagte hain. Aur uske baad bechare wing ke sophies ka mujra hona mangta hai. Ek baar soni ne shyam ko birthday wish kiya to inhone use chaata jad diya.Aur daaru peen eke baad inko acchanak apne sharer mein kai parivartan hote nazar ate hai aur inhone yahan tak claim kiya hai ki "Doston mujhe lagta hai ki meri virginity lose ho gayi hai." Par pata nahi ki inhone yeh saugaat kahan khoi, Miss Singh ya ruby baar ki shehnaaz ya heena ki Mallika ya Jaat ke saath. Aur yahan tak sunne mein aaya hai ki yash chopra ki agli movie ki story Shyam, aur Jaat ke love se inspired hai. Inke favorite Hollywood hero Jackie chan aur jet lee hain. Yeh itne bade fan hai unke ki har movie ke 3 show hote hai aur full volume mein.Ab to wing waalon ko (huha-hai) ki awaazon ke bina raaton ko neend nahi aati. Aur yeh kisi bhi naye gaane ko,jo ki inhe pasand aata hai,winamp par enque kar shuffle aur repeat on kar ke full volume mein chalta chodd kar ghumne nikal jaate hain.

Other then kung-fu movies his other pass time are playing cards and carrom which are 24 hours open. At a budding age of 15 this politically aspiring bihari kid had to spend one night in jail. The reason.... beating up the principal of the school and burning his home as he claims for the trivial rise in the mess bill (keep the 0.25 factor at the back of ur mind). Jail ki ek raat inke iraadon ko kamzor nahi kar payi aur inhone apne sathiyom ke liye misaal kaayam karne ke liye ek ladke ko footer field par peet daala. Aur yahin pe mission SHYAM?S SHINING khatm nahi hua aur isi ko agey badate hue unhone apne prof ko ?FUCK YOU" signature ke saath ek mail bhej di aur reply mein he gets a FF grade.Aur inhone apne shastra gyan ka prayog kar, do mind that he?s a Brahman, calendar ki fixed date se ek raat pehle hi Jaat ke saath mil kar holika dehan kar di.

Shyam was still shining when he picked up a water balloon on holi n threw it just as to catch attention of Prof. PG but unfortunately it struck his daughter. To prove his worth he also ragged some seniors in inter IIT at Kharagpur (when he was still a sophie). His very interest in teaching was very much clear in his freshie year when he picks up a phone and asks the person whether this call is internal or external. These shining skills were very much responsible for his unsuccessful attempts in job interviews. For this guy once goes in for an interview and being very much addictive to royal life sits on a more comfortable of chairs available and guess what?? The chair was meant for the interviewer. But now he doesn?t needs any more chances as he has cracked a job at Inforte.

This guy is a complete man since 1981 as he has all the skills around. Talk about sports and babu has everything to offer from football, hockey, crossy and all. Our hostel football team hasn?t lost a single match in which shyam was playing. Besides he is a very good singer as well. We wish him all the best for the future. Keep shining Shyam.