October 4th, 2004

aloque | 4 Oct 2004, 10:40pm

To say that I have missed this space would be a lie. To say that I missed writing would be true. My thoughts weren't of myself and the thoughts I had were too personal to put down anywhere. The past month has been such a whirwind of emotions, that I have had no time for myself. Last evening, reality caught up to me, as it has to. Answering to parents, mine and others', thinking about her, spending every spare moment with her, I forgot a lot of other things. A loss of balance means that I have to hit the floor sometime. And I have.

I am glad to have come back to the world, because it makes things more real. It puts my mast month in perspective and I do not view us any differently. That makes me glad, almost relieved. I didn't want to wake up and see that my world was a dream.

There are some tough times ahead. I have got to be there for a lot of people, and not forget myself. That sounds so much easier than it is. Being here for myself has become so tough lately.

Settling down to a working atmosphere, missing the group of awesome people I spent the last month with, finally finding the time to realise that my focus is wandering, and that my goals seem as undefined as the day I was born, I sit here today determined to do differently.

 

 



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: none

 
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