algorithmic randomizations !

    The last one hour has probably been the most liberating hour in a long long time .
       We are stupid.  We are so so stupid. We get so caught up with our respective 'busy' lives that we overlook some of the most harmlessly beautiful moments that we could have with the people outside our respective spheres of academic,hanging-out'ic'  lives ...i spent the last hour with my sister ..all of 15 yrs old ...and relived the last 5 yrs of of my life ....we did nothing  except for giggling away at nothin at all ...listening to music that was a part of our crazy lives ..the ones we danced to ...actually practised the steps ...we relived those 'live' performances that were so enjoyed and 'appreciated' by our very own connoisseurs of music and dance( our parents ofcourse) ....it felt so good ...to be able to become me again ..even if it was only for an hour ...
       Why do we abandon a part of ourselves every time we set out to do something new? Why is it that we live our lives in phases ? Why cant we love always ...why is it that we cant love unconditionally the same way always ..?Why is it that in our efforts to become better ..'bigger' people we let go of the few good things that are a part of us by default ..? Why do we associate innocence only with childhood ? Why cant we always be happy ,and content ?Is life all about achievements ? Is life all about winning races ? Is life only about winning ?Why cant we actually live that elysian dream of a perfect green normal world ? Are we that stupid ? Have we got all our basics wrong ? Is is that difficult to do the right thing always ?If simple things make us happy , why do we always set our sights on things that could only complicate our lives further ? Why do i feel like im sayin all this only because i havent done anythin 'big' or anything worth mentioning with my life ...?Why do i feel like all this is a way of sayin 'i wanna give up' or worse ....'ive given up'...?
      Can we have a judicious mix of rat-race-stuff and simple-normal-stuff in our routine ? Can i still listen to music ,talk to my family, bring back old happy times and still crack a competitive examination ?Have all the successful people in the world given up on satisfaction ...on smiles ...on 'living'..? Will i be relegated to the background if i dont give up a part of me today ? Where do i belong ? To the ring ,or to the front row seats with the pop-corn,the screamin and the cheerin ?