Posted by aakarsh. 15 January 2005, 5:27pm

6:30am...quite an odd hour..for a person living in throw sleep aside and key in some nonsense on this blank page...which after few clicks gets into the blogs..and then..1 or 2 replies... i wonder sometimes, what are these blogs for...its like pulling out a page out of your scrap book,and pinning it up there..for the entire netizens to watch on on..would it be too much to call it self-indulgence..i dont know..

i read strange blogs sometimes..pple write abt everything...well..thats what blogs are meant for actually..but what abt the masks we wear here..we can write a lot..but we dont..we write what we feel like..not what we ought to..bbut who cares...its all personal choice..still..more than blogs..i see strange masks sometimes..i dare not condemn that..because i wear masks myself..i dont know which mask i am wearing now..while i am keying this..i care not..

I have many masks --- for a day, for a night,< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

And evening for an instant delight.

Some for my people, some for the stranger,

Some for the guest and some for my companion.

Keeping varied masks under my eye,

I change disguises for every phase of my life.


All masks of mine bring with them,

Only small surprises, trivial smiles,

Impotent anger and some simple joys.

With them, I know,

I talk with my people, strangers,

I watch the stars and at times talk with the skies,

And lose myself in a throng of thoughts.


My days move from one mask to another,

And from the depths of disguise,

Some try to know me, while,

Others knowing, prefer me masked.

If at times I feel my identity lost,

I try to find myself looking along,

The moving mirrors of my life.

And I see lots of broken glass,

Here and there.

Of what use is seeking answers from a mirror?

That too

Current Mood: Dismissive
Current Music: composers breath

Posted by aakarsh. 07 January 2005, 5:57am
Wherever I am…I see sometimes,
All of a sudden a river,
An empty boat strikes against the shore,
A sound next to wild silence,
An unseen life, next to my own.

Wherever I am… I sit for a while,
Often, a trodden path beckons me,
With my own own footprints and shadows.
Glimmering like images carved in dust,
And my own sight veils my eyes.

Wherever I am…I feel at times,
The moonlight webs a dream in my eyes,
And within every dream lies another,
Between a web of anxieties, I dream and wake,
Alone, in time of personal despair.

Wherever I am…I move from there,
A loneliness turns into a journey,
My heart urges me to take a new road,
And within the heart of every road I chose,
Lies the urge to lose direction…

Current Mood: Amazed
Current Music: RainCoat--mathura Nagarpati

Posted by aakarsh. 05 January 2005, 8:59am
hi! there,
I’m aware that u will be suprised reading this. still, i dont mind. coz i am right now floating in an unknown sea listening to one the most unique songs in the history of indian film music, the beauty of which I’d like to share with u folks.
it must be in 1987 or 88. film-maker-lyricist gulzar was making a film. IJAAZAT. with naseerudhin shah, rekha and some other by gulzar's and everybody's favourite, the boss, pancham...aka.. r.d.burman.
It is a sensitive film about relationships. A good one.
Situation--a woman singing a song to herself, remembering her man (who unfortunately marries another lady out of compulsion) and moments of love spent with him. The woman sings about some beautiful metaphors (like scent of wet mehendhi, drenching in rain under one umbrella), asking him to send them (those moments) back to her. For that song, gulzar wrote the lyrics as follows:

mera kuch saaman tumhaare paas pada hain. saawan ke bheege bheege din rakhe hain. aur mere ek khath mein lipti raat padi hain. woh raat bhujadho mera woh saaman lautadho.pathjadh hai kuch, hai na? pathjadh mein kuch paththon ki girne ki aahat kaanon mein ek baar pehnke lautaayee thi, pathjadh ki woh shaakh abhi tak kaamp rahi hain, woh shaakh gira do mera woh saaman lautadho. ek akeli chathri mein jab aadhe aadhe bheeg rahe the, aadhe sookhe aadhe geele sookha tho main le aayee thi, geela man shaayad bisthar ke paas pada ho, woh bhijwaadho, mera woh saaman lautadho. ek sau solah chaand ke raathein, ek tumhaare kaandhe ka thil, geeli mehendhi ki khushboo aur jooth mooth ke shikwe kuch, jhooth mooth ke waadhein bhi sab yaad karaadhoon. sab bhijwaadho, mera woh saaman lautadho.ek ijaazat dhedho bus jab isko dhuffnaaoongi.main bhi wohi sojaaoongi.

Exactly this was handed over to r.d. no anthara's or mukhudas. no rhymes. and upon everything, no meter to the lines. Its just like a letter. free verse poetry in a letter or a paragraph format. r.d.burman went wild," what nonsense is this. it doesn’t have any meter and all. Tomorrow u will bring me the editorial of the times of india news-paper and ask me to compose it into a song.". he had a point. Songs without meter are difficult to compose. its like a freehand to ur sensibilties..u have them, u can do it or else..u r done.. some meterless-less songs have rhyme from which a composer takes cues. but this song didn’t have that too…
but r.d took the challenge. And this is how r.d.burman composed it.

mera kuch saaman...tumhaare paas pada hain...
saawan ke kuch bheege bheege din, rakhe hain...
aur mere ek, khath mein lipti... raat padi hain...
woh raat bhujadho mera woh saaman lautadho...
woh raat bhujadho mera woh saaman lautadho... ( he choose this as key line and made it repeat all thru song)

pathjadh hai kuch, hai na?( i still dont know why he used this line, in between interlude music)

pathjadh mein kuch paththon ki...girne ki aahat...
kaanon mein ek baar pehnke lautaayee thi...
pathjadh ki woh shaakh abhi tak, kaamp rahi hain...
woh shaakh gira do, mera woh saaman lautadho...
woh shaakh gira do, mera woh saaman lautadho...

(the interlude music too is sweetly woven)

ek akeli chathri mein jab aadhe aadhe bheeg rahe the...
aadhe sookhe aadhe geele sookha tho main, le aayee thi...
geela mann shaayad, bisthar ke paas pada ho... (This line reflects the aesthetic imagination of the lyricist)
woh bhijwaadho mera woh saaman lautadho...

ek sau solah chaand ke raathein, ek tumhaare kaandhe ka thil...
geeli mehendhi ki khushboo aur jooth mooth ke shikwe kuch...
jhooth mooth ke waadhein bhi sab yaad karaadhoon...
sab bhijwaadho mera woh saaman lautadho...
sab bhijwaadho mera woh saaman lautadho...
ek ijaazat dhedho bus jab inko dhuffnaaoongi...
main bhi wohi sojaaoongi...main bhi wohi sojaaoongi...( these ending lines convey melancholy and love… and the lines are touch-some too, if u can appreciate beautiful poetry)

first of all, its an unusual poetry.secondly it didnt have a rhyme to give cues to the composer. still he could make it, that too bringing in variety by giving a different tune to each stanza. No two stanzas are of same tune... becoz the lyrics are of different lengths. he literally broke the lines suitably and made it into a song.only using the line "mera woh saaman lautadho", he gets back to main tune. and quite strangely, the song doesnt end with that. Instead it ends with a different tune and diff lyric too... also worth mentioning is asha bhonsle's flawless rendition by which she simply patented that song. putting in everything, r.d.burman still maintained the same feel throughout the song, i mean i still don’t know which raaga he choose to base this song on, but with the most imperfect structure, he could perfect the song. how did he do it? how did he know where to break? and still how did he maintian the flow? That truly reflects what you call as craftsmanship…
as far as i know, no composition has ever been made out of such a meterless, free verse poetry. the song fetched gulzar a national award for best lyricist. and asha bhonlse for best playback singing. unfortunately r.d.burman didnt win the award for best music, though it was he who worked hard on the song to put it in tune.
only r.d. could adorn the unusual poetry of gulzar with his music. and only honed-to-perfection-vocals of the enchantress asha bhonsle could do justice to r.d.b'.s gem.
i know some of u cant make sense out of this mail. But only if u hear the song, u will understand what kind of achievement it was. u should listen to it.

Today, if you watch any music channel, you will realize how many people are living on r.d. in the name of his music, but shamelessly remixing and ruining his songs. These bastards are making money out of his music. Infact people have this misconception that r.d.burman means only piya tu ab tu aaja, dum maro dum or churaliya hain tumne jo dil ko. In reality, he composed many more classical, experimental and modern gems, abt which pple hardly talk today. This song is just one of them, which evidences the fact that r.d.burman could compose anything…even an editorial from the times of India…

he could have created more, as his music was always ahead of his time(sad that the technological advancement happened just when he died...had he been alive today..i wonder what all he would have created)...but people didnt let him to...his last years were pathetic..he was ignored/cornered/humiliated..and neglected..and even underrated...and finally..he died..out of lonliness...its people who killed him...but before leaving..he shook everyone, with 1942-A love story, where he returned to his roots, rabindra sangeet.. and then, he left..
like they say, a lamp flickers wildly..before going off.and then, people again woke his songs..but it was too late.

today is his death anniversary...and his own composition echoes.."zindagi ke safar mein guzar jaathe hai mahaan.... woh phir nahi aathe..woh phir nahi aathe"..

R.D. breathes thru....forever…

missing him...

aakarsh. countless people are chanting his name before having a morsel of rice..because he is their source of they live on the remixes of his compositions..sad!!

Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: R.D.Burman ofcourse

Posted by aakarsh. 03 January 2005, 3:51am

the time has come...finally...
light raging through the night sky,
just like rays of energy at a vengeance...
tearing up all the clouds...
dejected clouds give in vain,
not letting down even a drop of rain...
the stars opening their eyes wide,
till the rain of light pours down endlessly,
into every home of every miserable dwelling...
nobody knows why the stars are angry,
but i see the night filling itself with light,
till it is dissolved in light,white light...
and then, nothing remained...

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Ilaiyaraaja

Posted by aakarsh. 01 January 2005, 12:29am
after a hour-long silence, finally, the telefone started ringing..everyone year wishes.. and then...with much anxiety you log in and send e-greetings to all people..receive few your friend's friend and his cousin's neighbour's phone numbers..feel back...crash in..wake up new year wishes..then, glance over that phone number...wait till evening wondering if he/she would call...and finally you call yourselves..blah blah blah...
every new year has a similar beginning..walking along..when you get tired..somewhere you just sit and ponder..why we celebrate..whats happening is just a rolling down of numbers...the dates..and celebration is called because its january again..and some good man in history told that jan is the 1st, what if march is the 1st month..then feb 28th rocks..simple..finally..its just the euphoria that everyone is having fun..nothing more..oh! no..i am not a cynical man here..i myself am having fun..and i am already feeling tipsy..which is why i am writing this.. after i shut this off...i will just catch up with stephen hawking ie.,. a brief history of time..because 31 dec or jan 1st is all about that..movement of time..the flow of time..
but tell me, didnt some one say "time doesnt move..its only we who pass through it..having assigned some numbers to days and nights and position of planets"..may be..who cares... better sing "aanewaala pal...jaanewaala hai...ho sake tho ismein zindagi bithadho..pal yeh jo jaanewaala hai.."

Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: aanewaala pal...jaane waala ai...