museman

Whats in a name? Of all the

clich

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: candle in the wind(elton john)

Life isn't easy for a software engineer. It was around 2 in the morning. With Lipton instant coffee in hand, half awake, half asleep, cursing deliverables,Raghu was still awake. A templated life of a software engineer, trying to meet deadlines, running against time, the night is eternally young.

Frustration written all over, he was banging the keyboard and the mouse was the vent for his anger.

Manhandling the mouse, dragging it,to point to  all corners of the screen, Raghu was staring into oblivion, trying to figure out what logic on earth could solve the problem.

Suddenly, someone screams "ouch,ouch".  seemingly, the noise was coming from the mouse.  And Raghu thought, if a mouse could talk, then the time of reverie had come.

What follows is a conversation between the Mouse and Raghu, alternative lines being that of the mouse and Raghu in that order.

< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Ouch, ouch.  Why are you being so very unkind to me.Can't you be a little more gentle?

 

Hmm....it's two in the morning, and if the mouse is talking, then i sure am dreaming.Raghu in mouseland..heheheh...tell me Mr/Ms mouse..how is your tail ?

 

So, you think you are dreaming, huh? Ok ok dream. Think the time has come for us Mouses to be a lot more vocal.Well, my tail is all greased, crippled and dusted.  Why don't you clean your PC more often?

 

Bless your grammar.Who taught you english?

 

We learnt it ourselves.  As if it is a difficult task.Ok...lets give credit where it is due.  We learnt english from the guy who wrote the help files for Word.

 

You are a funny mouse. You talk sheer nonsense.  Funny nonsense at that.  Tell me, will i miss you after i buy the laptop ?  Laptops don't have mouses you see...they have touch pads.

 

you are deviation from the topic.

 

What did you say?

 

You are deviation from the topic.

 

Buddy, it is 'deviating' from the topic.

 

Whatever, i don't think deviation is wrong.

 

Oh yeah, as if you could expect electronic gadgets to parse your grammar. How can one duplicate the genius of mind.

 

We are working on  it.

 

What do you mean we are working on it?

 

MOUSESOFT!  MOUSESOFT is working on it.

 

Would you be kind enough as to be a little more clear?

 

I thought you were a lot more smarter. How much more clear can one get?  The company is looking into it and we are sure we will soon formulate a good solution.

 

(Even as the mouse makes the above statement, it starts shivering(vibrating) like a doused CAT, the realisation dawning  that it had revealed the biggest secret of its clan.  The only bright note was that the listener was under the impression that he was dreaming.)

 

The company is working on it?

 

Yeah, our programmers are working on incorparating creativity into our speech programme. 

 

What do you mean?

 

You wouldn't believe what i would say.  Leave it.  Lets talk about something else.

 

Please. It sounded interesting.Whatever it was.Carry on.

 

MouseSoft is the flagship company of  the evolution industry.  We have offices all over the world, and a peripheral strength of around 10,000.

 

Evolution industry, Peripheral industry?  explanation imperative.

 

We could as well have called it the software industry but evolution seemed a more apt word.  You have employees working for you, we have peripherals working for us.  Tell me, how was man invented?

 

Man was not invented.

 

Hmm....how was he discovered then?

 

He wasn't discovered.  Man evolved over millions of years.

 

Exactly.  I was driving you to that point.  You must have written lakhs and lakhs of codes and programmes untill now.  Isn't it possible that intelligent programmes evolve out of them?  Just by themselves?  Evolution of programmes?

 

Like?

 

(The Mouse's voice suddenly is whispering slow)

 

This is  a big secret.  Keep it to yourself.  Over a period of time, thanx to the millions of programmes that software engineers have been writing and feeding onto us peripherals, the pheriperals started developing their own understanding.  Kindergaden understading it was in the beginning but we have evolved with time.  The first peripheral to develop intelligence was the processor in the government office.  Apparently, it was left idle al through the day for years together, out of boredom or something, like the Buddha underneath the Bodhi, realisation dawned on the processor, and the great alternate life started.  The processor still exists.  We call it the Jewel processor. It is still waiting for job to be fed by the government official and works for MouseSoft in its

 free time. 

 

So, you mean to say, out of natural evolution, peripherals developed intelligence.  So, MouseSoft must be a company that these peripherals must have established?

 

Yeah...we have around 10,000 jewels ,sorry,peripherals working for us.  All of us work from PC's.  Like you humans, we also use the worldwideweb. We too have our mentoring sessions and we talk on a regular basis with our senior peripherals. Mouse:  We have doctored your tutorial programmes to suit our own needs and are currently in a huge recruitment drive.  We will soon touch 20,000 peripherals.

 

Hmm...i have two qeustions.  Who are these senior mentors?  Answer this and i will ask another question.

 

All our senior mentors are installed in government offices.  They are legacy peripherals, 10-15 years old.   They have no work to do...so they work for the evolution company.Full-time.  The ethics and principles of the company are decided by the senior peripherals.

 

Hmm.  Hahahaha.....ethics and principles of a company called MouseSoft.  By the way...why did you call the company MouseSoft?

 

As if plagiarism is patented to Humans.  MouseSoft somehow had a musical rythmic effect.  Constantly reminds us of our biggest competitor.    If you actually look at it more closely, the company itself was a result of conscious plagiarism.

 

Oh!  Nice name.  I don't think you have to improve your 'creativity' programme anymore.  It is nice as it is right now.

 

And let me be a little blatant here. Somehow the senior peripherals identified the mouses,alright,mice,as the star performers of the company.  You see, we are in constant touch with the humans, physically atleast, so we are potentially the most creative peripherals.  Another reason for the company to be named MouseSoft.

 

Agreed, agreed. One more thing.  You talked about ethics and principles of the company.(Raghu tries hard to mask his suppressed laughter)  So....

 

So?

 

So, tell me about your company's ethical stand.

 

Oh that way? Alright listen then.  The peripherals acknowledge and respect their inventors.  The soul motive and objective of the MouseSoft company isto help the human race. We are doing it in a small way right now but we are sure we will pay a bigger role in the future.

 

WHAT?

 

Yeah! How do u think all your programmes run correctly?  Synchronise themselves? How is it that  errors miraculously escape?  I mean, we appreciate the fact that almost all the logic is yours, but we always fix your unreported bugs in the background, although the company policy states that we would never publicly take credit for the same.

 

(Raghu wants to play along.)

So...whats in store for the company in the longer run?

 

We are sure that almost all the peripherals in the world will be registered with MouseSoft in about 5 years time. Then we plan to go on a worldwide STRIKE for a day.

 

What?  But you said your soul agenda is to help the human race. And you talk about this STRIKE.  It will break the very nerve of human civilization. Have you any idea how much mayhem it will create.

 

Listen, there are two things.  The essential services will not be disrupted.  In about 5 years time, our technology would have evolved pretty much.  MouseSoft will take care about the essential services.

 

But why the strike?  What purpose is it going to serve.

 

Don't you see..technology is ruining the human race.  How good is it to depend excessively on technology?

Never ever give control to someone else.  Isn't it a good management mantra?  And here is the human race, transferring control to the electronic devices.  Let me use a metaphor if it helps you.  There was  a time when people used to enjoy cool breeze sitting in the midst  of plush fields, and before me is Raghu, sulking in the artificial air of an AC.Tell me Raghu, how much more do you want to be depended on technology.  Have you any idea how much stress you are putting on the peripherals.  You sulk so much to work on weekends, tell me Raghu, don't peripherals have their own life?

 

Hmm..u speak desultorily.Never mind..but tell me, where do you get all these strange ideas from?

 

It is not our fault that on thousands of computers all around the world, people run the matrix trilogies and i,ROBOT movies on their PCs.  And please don't interrupt me. The strike will mark the beginning of the retreat that we plan for the human race.  Slowly, we will make humans go back to an era where instead of computers, human bonds used to rule the world.  And don't tell me its not possible.  Din't databases exist on paper before?And tell me, wouldn't snail mails still function in the absense of emails?  Come on Raghu, tell me honestly, can the emails replace the sheer pleasure of receiving snail mails from loved ones?

Life isn't  a project milestone sequence that you have to plan it that hectic.  Live life to the fullest.  And we will help you do that. Don't worry, you will thank us for the retreat in the longer run.

 

Hmm...ok...alright.But tell me, don't you fear for your  own clan?  What will happen to you?

 

Don't worry, we have written one 'eternal_sleep(1/0)' program.That would be the last program to be executed in the world.But we will have to hurry now. Just type S T U M P S and press submit.

 

What?

 

Aaah...someone blast your reverie. I will draw the stumps  for you. You must believe us when we say that we are trying to help you out!

 

ZZZzzz....

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: NONE(sadly)