Time to act
enigma | General | 30 September 2005, 11:30pm
Do we really need to kill our self respect or leave it behind when working under someone who keeps waiting to show you everytime what u need to be doing..and not give you time to even breathe... I have been facing this bloody torture for a month now and have been working real hard as i mentioned in my previous blog..i have no issues working..but at the end of the day one statement or a comment puts water on the hard work you have put during the entire day..a comment as stupid as "why you need to accompany someone to the sick room..a waste of time ..you could have continued with ur training" is there no human element left in people..have we all become so bloody mechanical or its just a comment to let you down and show you what your place is..while they can pass away their time shooting mails and discussing about where they are going for the weekend..
Corporates suck big time..especially if you have psychos to report to..not able to take it any more..when you handle 4 peoples tasks for the entire day and still no satisfaction..basically people like to rule over other people and keep snubbing them down..but i think about my team than about myself..i think everyone is important and deserve to be treated with dignity and care.
Maybe my expectations are too much as i am a simple person who is straight forward and dont know of any tactical moves to survive in this big bad industry..and i dont want to learn how to survive also..the day i feel i have had enough would just leave..
Bottomline: Never let a person down if he/she is putting in the effort just to show your level and be rational and not behave like a bloody psycho..one day you might have to face the same from someone else..then you would know how painful it is .
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Try not to disappoint people who put in the hard work..a lesson to be learnt by everyone
One of the greatest responsibilities we have is to support ourselves and others in living at our highest and best. Whether we're parents, partners, friends or leaders, it's incumbent upon us to help others to live as close to their unique potential as we can.
With everything we say and do, we're influencing -- positively or negatively -- the people we care about. The ideal is to do this with consideration and intention. Here are ten ways you can help others see and realize the best that's within them.
1. Believe in Them
We all have self-doubts from time to time. Our confidence is shaken. We lack the faith in our talents and skills to go for an important promotion or launch a new initiative. Having someone believe in you at these times is priceless. The stories of great men and women are saturated with examples of someone who believed in them even when they didn't fully believe in themselves.
2. Encourage Them
"You can do it." "I know you can." These are words that are all-too-infrequently voiced. Sincere encouragement can go a long way in helping someone stay the course. The more specific you are, the better the results. "I remember when you got through your slump last year and ended up winning the sales contest. I'm willing to bet that you'll do even better this time."
3. Expect a Lot
We're often told not to get our hopes up. We're encouraged to have REALISTIC expectations. But when it comes to helping others operate at their best, we sometimes have to up-level our expectations. This can be taken to extremes, but there are many times when a teacher, a parent or even a boss has required more of us than we thought we were capable. And we've risen to the challenge which enabled us to see further than before.
4. Tell the Truth
And tell it with compassion. We often avoid telling the hard truth because we don't want to upset anyone. We want to be NICE. But telling the truth is a loving act. You may be the only person who can or will say to another what needs to be said. And you can confront someone without being combative. See Top Ten Ways to Confront Without Being Combative.
5. Be a Role Model
One of the best ways we influence is by our own actions. Who we are speaks much more loudly than what we say. Don't think that people aren't watching you. They are. And they're registering everything about you consciously and unconsciously. We automatically emulate our role models. And we're ALL role models to someone so let's be good ones.
6. Share Yourself
Too often, we miss the value of sharing our failings. We don't want to be vulnerable so we hold back. In doing so, we deprive others of our experience, our learning and our humanity. When you share from your own experience -- especially your failures -- you increase empathy, you're more approachable and you increase your relatability to others.
7. Challenge Them
The word "challenge" has some negative connotations. The meaning we're using here is, "a test of one's abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking." We all need to be challenged from time to time. Doing it for another is an art form. Go too far and it will backfire. Go too easy and you will appear patronizing. Remind people of their commitment to being their best and state your challenge. "I challenge you to overcome these unimportant opinions and get on with the real task at hand, get the job done, make the commitment, etc."
8. Ask Good Questions
A good therapist or coach doesn't tell their clients what to do. They ask good questions in order for the client to understand themselves better, to get clear on what the issue is and from there to make good choices. You can do the same. By asking elegant questions, you cause people to think and come up with solutions. They'll appreciate it. Gary Lockwood has a good article about this called Asking Intelligent Questions with Impact.
9. Acknowledge Them
You find what you're looking for. If you're looking for the best in someone, you'll see it. If you're looking for their failings, you'll see those. Catch people doing things right and tell them. When we acknowledge the good deeds of others, they tend to do more of them. Write a note. Send a card. Give them a call. Praise them in front of others.
10. Spend Time with Them
We love what we give our time to. By devoting your most precious resource (time) to another individual, you're showing them that you truly value them and your relationship with them. Invest time in your relationships; it's what life is made of.
Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Agar tum mil jaoo
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No time
enigma | General | 27 September 2005, 11:51pm
Life has become like a machine,,get up,,go to work,,work for 12hrs and come back and sleep,,for around 5 days this routine continues.
One of the most difficult parts of this life is that our hearts'desires are not always fulfilled. Sometimes i keep thinking that the purpose of my existence is not to make a living, but to make a life.
Life is short, what did you do yesterday that you want to be remembered by,,we should not allow ourselves to be consumed by life's problems instead should be consumed with life's joys
Apart from working like a dog day and night ,,,missing out on the evenings,,not being able to see the sunset nor sitting by the sea and gazing into eternity,,but where is the time for all that,,weekened comes and goes where i spend half the time sorting out stuff that i was not able to do during the weekdays,,
Earning money and leading a good life would matter to people but how much are we losing out on is the big question,,the very purpose of our mechanical existence is so disturbing,,
I guess i am a confused soul,,who wants to do so much more and enjoy the little things that life has to offer me,,becoz i believe that life is not a contest but a chance to do the best we can with what we have,,my policy is to go slow but god has been kind to give me almost everything without asking for them,,but still that something is missing
Life's trials are ultimately what you make of them,,i guess i have to take out time and not crib about it..
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NRIs buy gifts from Dollar Shops!?!
enigma | General | 15 September 2005, 8:57pm
This is just not my observation, its what most of my friends think about NRIs. These guys leave the country in search of big dreams and big bucks..most of them are able to fulfill that dream...their folks back home think proudly of them..as they have made a good life for themselves..
They stay for a year or two and when they come for a visit back home..they plan to buy gifts for their friends,relatives and parents ..for most of their shopping they end up visiting the dollar tree or the dollar shops...picking up stuff in bulk for a dollar each..i have heard.. guys buying latest cell phones and laptops for themselves and gifting the old ones they had to their parents or siblings as "gifts"...
For what have they gone there for????? What are they getting out of the whole experience of buying such cheap gifts for the people who love them and who await their return ever so eagerly...why is their tendency like that...
I can understand if people who have gone as students do such a thing..but i know of many many people who are docs, scientists and well settled professionals who buy such cheap gifts for their loved ones..and the same people once in india are gifted expensive items worth thousands...why do NRIs behave so stingy ....do they not have the heart to spend a few extra dollars for gifting stuff to their folks....
They would be busy and working their entire lives in that alien country...but for what???? Their parents would have a two bedroom house ..and what would their son/ daughter working in the states own ...a three bedroom house...so is this all worth it for just an extra bedroom
My basic dilemma is why is the basic thought process of an NRI so different ...they are given a 5 star treatment when they are in india.. but they would be leading a life of isolation in a foreign land.....they would crib that india is not developing in terms of infrastructure and the quality of life is poor here...agreed to all that...but we have bigger hearts boss...we dont pick up stuff from the dollar shops to gift our parents....
This does not mean all NRIs do that...but yes a majority of them do..and my write up is based on the discussion that i had with most of my friends who live in the US....
So even if one person decides to pick up a good decent gift to gift his/her parents,brothers,sisters, relatives and friends instead of buying the cheap maal and giving big big projections ..my purpose of putting my thoughts together would be served.
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No time for anyone
enigma | General | 03 September 2005, 11:12am
A person spends so much time building a rapport, relationship, bonding etc with another person. When the time comes to test each of these it takes a minute to realize that what a waste of time it was.
When you need a person to talk to or share your feelings or thoughts, the very people whom you thought would be there for you are not even willing to spare a little time to listen to you. They start giving excuses like sorry my mobile is going out of charge… will send you a message later… I have to go to the toilet…I am taking a class…. I am watching a movie so on and so forth
For the very same people you would have been awake the entire night looking up things and supporting them in what ever way you could. When you mention that to them the response is "okay if you did all that then what do you expect from me now..do we do things expecting something in return"…that is what pains me the most. I have come to terms with such things now…….i am too na
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Current Music: chaand mera dil
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