5 Nov 2005, 11:16pm
When I say whatever I want to...
Posted by Script Writer | Category [ General ]Comments (29) | Trackbacks (0)
Courtesy a fellow blogger (Why am I using a phrase as hackneyed as this? Sigh!), my perspective on all things pornographic has undergone a slight metamorphosis. I have started to perceive them as more than means of healthy recreation.
Make no mistake. I have always held porn in the highest regard and have always believed the likes of Sindee Coxx, Sylvia Saint, Asia Carrerra, Dolly Golden, Lita Chase, Coral Sands, Tabatha Cash, Gina La Marca, Anna Nicole Smith, Brande Rodericks, Sally Layd, Jay Sweet, and Vanessa to be women with some serious substance (no pun inadvertently intended - it was intentional) in them. And even if it makes people doubt my lifestyle choice, for the women who read my blog I thought I should name a few men too - Peter North, Vince Voyeur, Drago, and Rocko, in no particular order.
Having seen enough moving pictures of this genre to have reached a stage where I can detach myself completely when the 'mechanical motion' is on in full swing, I can safely say that I have begun to appreciate the nuances of making movies that would have any four of these stories:
But it is not as easy as it looks. In my time (this is not to say that I was ever a part of the industry (somehow to me the phrase just sounds classy) or that I am now old (what if I am balding and half my teeth are gone?)), I learnt through what I choose to describe as informational reading material that you need stunt doubles for these movies too. No, there is no jumping off a building or racing through a freeway here. The stunt doubles are used for those pressing times of need when the actor's pecker just refuses to rise to the occasion. A whole legion of men has been gainfully employed by this industry to render this specific service. Nifty camerawork ensures that we only see what they are doubling up for.
Sometimes the ease with which the actors get into impossible positions leaves one with their jaws touching the floor. As if it was not enough hard work, did they have to make it harder by doing it underwater? Or with the woman's legs spread so wide you could drive an eighteen-wheeler through? What's the idea? To tell us that sex takes superhuman effort? Yeah, that is why we are a nation of one billion. Just imagine if it was any easier!
So what was the change in perspective that I gloated over? That I have started to perceive them as more than means of healthy recreation. But I already said that. Why did I write so much more then? Because it is my blog and I can write whatever I want to.
Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: I am too sexy...
Make no mistake. I have always held porn in the highest regard and have always believed the likes of Sindee Coxx, Sylvia Saint, Asia Carrerra, Dolly Golden, Lita Chase, Coral Sands, Tabatha Cash, Gina La Marca, Anna Nicole Smith, Brande Rodericks, Sally Layd, Jay Sweet, and Vanessa to be women with some serious substance (no pun inadvertently intended - it was intentional) in them. And even if it makes people doubt my lifestyle choice, for the women who read my blog I thought I should name a few men too - Peter North, Vince Voyeur, Drago, and Rocko, in no particular order.
Having seen enough moving pictures of this genre to have reached a stage where I can detach myself completely when the 'mechanical motion' is on in full swing, I can safely say that I have begun to appreciate the nuances of making movies that would have any four of these stories:
- Delivery man knocks on the door of a lonely woman whose husband is away on a business trip
- Aspiring actress pleases producer (could be male or female)
- Small town bloke exploited in the city by a wealthy woman
- Secretary and boss (do I need to say more?)
- Hapless woman with a broken down car in the middle of nowhere is given a, umm, ride by a good Samaritan
- Man/woman is given a demo of the 'toys' by the lady behind the counter of a sex shop
- Horny woman realises self help is the best help
- Coach/teacher instructs on more than math/science/tennis/it does not matter
- Cop strip searches a man/woman
- Bride makes it with the best men (could number between 1 and 3) when she discovers the groom and the bridesmaids (could number between 1 and 4) together
- Hot couples' therapist (always female) infuses life into dead marriage
- Businesswoman goes all the way to broker deals
But it is not as easy as it looks. In my time (this is not to say that I was ever a part of the industry (somehow to me the phrase just sounds classy) or that I am now old (what if I am balding and half my teeth are gone?)), I learnt through what I choose to describe as informational reading material that you need stunt doubles for these movies too. No, there is no jumping off a building or racing through a freeway here. The stunt doubles are used for those pressing times of need when the actor's pecker just refuses to rise to the occasion. A whole legion of men has been gainfully employed by this industry to render this specific service. Nifty camerawork ensures that we only see what they are doubling up for.
Sometimes the ease with which the actors get into impossible positions leaves one with their jaws touching the floor. As if it was not enough hard work, did they have to make it harder by doing it underwater? Or with the woman's legs spread so wide you could drive an eighteen-wheeler through? What's the idea? To tell us that sex takes superhuman effort? Yeah, that is why we are a nation of one billion. Just imagine if it was any easier!
So what was the change in perspective that I gloated over? That I have started to perceive them as more than means of healthy recreation. But I already said that. Why did I write so much more then? Because it is my blog and I can write whatever I want to.
Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: I am too sexy...
