museman

              I have always wanted to review movies. Just for my own satisfaction. That I used to watch at least two movies per week until recently was a corroboratory reason. In fact, when Bluff Master got released in the city, I thought of watching it first day first show, to churn out a review myself and compare it with Fullhyd's review. That didn't happen though.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

There are two things which make it impossibility for me to write reviews.  One-fourth of the times, I go to the movie half-an-hour after the titles have rolled. The other three-fourths of the time, I get out of the movie theatre a jolly one hour (or so I assume) before the movie ends. Off late, I have realized that one must listen to one's heart. The moment I realize that the movie is nonsensical and boring (which is usually the case)I get up and leave the hall. Under such circumstances, the maximum that I can possibly give is half a review. Unless you have masochistic liking for sitting through a torture-a.k.a-movie, you must not venture out to become a reviewer.

            There are far more serious issues that you have to grapple with. What are you supposed to give in a review? The general public's opinion or your own? If you give your view, how could it possibly be a measure of the audiences pulse? What if you proclaim that a movie is a super flop on the Friday afternoon and it goes on to become a super hit? Would it be ok if you write in your review for Veer-Zaara that you were so very bored by the trailers of Veer-Zaara, that you didn't have the guts to see it and as such can't review it? Will the editor still persist with you if you do such a thing? What if you wanted to say that 'Ek Ajnabee' is a laugh riot purely because of its insanity? Is it necessary to say that Amitabh was a great actor, even when the whole movie is a complete crap? These I presume are some of the occupational hazards of being a movie reviewer. Me wondering if movie reviewers also get 'Vicks action' allowance along with their pay-pack.

I have always had a soft corner for reviewers. From time immemorial I have been reading reviews. Sunday reviews of Indian Express were the most trusted verdicts for me. I used to read Deepa Gehlot's review just for fun. I don