The Oxymoron of Getting Married and Falling in Love
Stand-Alone Dreamer | 10 April 2009, 7:59pm
It was my sister's wedding ceremony... Life used to be quite difficult for me during weddings... But these days I've devised a new technique, of making such monotonous events interesting, at least to myself... I search for archetypes, feminine and masculine! It is bloody exciting to run through every emotion expressed in such a public occasion and associate them to archetypes...
What archetype am l? I haven't yet thought about it... but I could always be the faithful best man; never the groom. It proves what I have been saying all along; myths and archetypes are alive and well and living in my apartment. As l stood beside my sister and her husband to be, it struck me that this ritual, a wedding ceremony, is the last scene of a fairy tale.
They never say what happens after. That Cinderella drove the prince mad by obsessively cleaning the castle. They don't say what happens after because there is no after.
I used think the be-all and end-all of romantic love was sex, maybe coz I have sex on the brain. But it is Marriage, and it wasn't always like that. The early centuries had ''courtly love'', which had nothing to do with sex.
They rose above ''going to the toilet in front of each other'' love, and went after something more divine.
They took sex out of the equation, leaving them with a union of souls.
Think of this. Sex was always the fatal love potion. Look at the literature of that time. All consummation could lead to was madness, despair or death. Experts, scholars all are united in one belief: True love has spiritual dimensions, while romantic love is a lie. A myth or a soulless manipulation!!
And speaking of manipulation... lt's like going to the movies and seeing lovers kiss... The music swells, and we buy it!! ln real life, we don't hear music when we kiss. And the person you're with isn't a movie star. lt's a malicious fantasy!! The addiction to beauty and perfection created by advertising feeds on people's pathetic hopes. We don't have our own opinions today. The media tells us what's beautiful. TV shows and magazines tell us what a relationship is supposed to be like. So when my girl kisses me, and l don't hear strings, l should probably dump her. The question is, why do we buy it?
Because, call it myth, call it manipulation, the fact is that we all want to fall in love!!
Because that experience makes us feel completely alive. Our everyday reality gets shattered, and we are flung into the heavens. lt may only last a moment, an hour or one delightful evening, but that doesn't diminish its value. We're left with memories we treasure for the rest of our lives.
l read, ''When we fall in love, we hear music in our heads.'' l like that concept. Music expresses our need for passion and romantic love. We listen to La Bóheme, or read Wuthering Heights, or watch Casablanca, and we can feel that a little of that love lives in us too.
So the final question is: Why do people want to fall in love when it can have such a short run and be so painful at times?
Maybe propagation of the species - We need to connect with somebody.
Maybe we are culturally preconditioned - That justification is too intellectual for me.
I think it's because, as some of you lucky heads may already know... While it does last, it feels fucking great!!!
Current Mood: Sleepless.....
Current Music: When Marimba Rhythm Starts To Play....
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