My Life From FAR FAR AWAY!!

XLNC | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Comments (4)   

The absence of all my dualities

Happiness:Pronunciation: \'ha-pe-n?s\;
Function: noun;
Origin: 15th century;
Meaning: A state of mind or feeling characterized by contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.

I only know what it means, I don't know how it feels to be in that state.

***

Did you ever wake up in the morning and feel like it was still the night?

Did you ever dream of something which seemed so real that you feel that the reality is the dream and the dream the reality?

I have. I always do. Both literally and figuratively.

***

Has your existence ever been questioned?

Did the room you're sitting in ever fade away? Have you ever tried reaching out to someone and feel only their shadow and not their hand? Did someone you know ever - *EVER* - treat you like a stranger?

Tides that I tried to swim against have brought me down upon my knees!!

Living in the darkness, while the world bathes in sunshine.



Running In Circles, Chasing Tails!!

XLNC Time Poetry | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Add comment   

You know what’s the in thing in my life? - circles...

Because my life is going around in circles...Everybody has a foundation on which his/her life is based, and mine has crumbled... for the fifth time in my life!!

"Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start. "

- The Scientist by coldplay

P.S. - Post edited for being too vague, unknowingly written and completely untrue...

P.P.S. - I'm normal... Reality. Normality. Duality.



Preservation

General | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Add comment   

I notice that many people write just to fill up the page, add phrases up. stray arrangements of works leading up to nothing.

Self-Preservation (Self'-pres'er*va"tion), n.

The mechanism of bearing the discomfort caused by injury so that the entity is inclined to stop the pain.

To be convinced you're depressed is a depression in itself.
Unless, that is, you really are depressed.

Do you know what virga are?

A streak or shaft of precipitation that falls from a cloud but evaporates before reaching the ground.

They mean nothing, these sentences, they connect to nothing. Or do they? But they are beautiful.

I just put them up cause they form a special place in my head. Sometimes I wonder whether what all I write are worth publishing on a public site at all.



Transcendence?!

General World XLNC | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Add comment   

Well the world is a odd place... And so are human beings. And to top it all off we have the so-called ultimate power and the most bizarre concept ever – GOD!

There are reasons aplenty why most people believe in God and why most people don’t. In the end it’s all about being happy with your life the way you choose it.

Coming back to God and Godlessness, we have the group who fanatically believe that God is the ultimate power, governing each and every move we make – in which case ironically me writing this is an act of God!

Then there are non believers who believe that whatever happens happens due to free will and no such thing as God exists nor can he govern us. In which case the entire universe is an enigma and will remain a puzzle which can never be solved.

The third kind - the kind who can’t actually believe in the existence or the non-existence of God...who are like cats on a wall, jumping to the side where they find better leverage.

Then there is the fourth kind, these are people who don’t care whether there is a God or not, they live an agnostic life – not caring and not being influenced by the powers of God.

I though am part of a group who are at a very precarious place. I just don’t want to pray to God. I believe that there is a divine power up there somewhere, but don’t want to keep praising IT all the time. I mean if IT is powerful enough, IT doesn’t need my praises! If IT is a perfect evaluator it will not pardon my sins whatever praises I shower IT with. If IT is compassionate enough most people wouldn’t be living in despair and sheer poverty!

Well that’s just part of what I believe not what I want you to believe!!



My Tourniquet!!

Bipolar Disorder Poetry | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Comments (1)   

Living in the darkness... when the world sleeps.
When the powers of electrons and protons are useless.
When you sit and brood, as your blood curls...
As you try to go cold turkey.
As you sit and watch, while your mind demands for more.
You know it when your mind swivels and fluctuates
And finally lingers at the same spot.
When more is less, and less is meaningless.
When adequate is not a part of the lingo,
And abundance is never attained.
The more you see, the more you need.
But all you need is to let it go.
When you are used to such a life.
When you can't erase those memories...
Nor can you forgive yourself.
When days and nights are divided.
When the heart is ripped out from the soul.
When the life is sucked out of your body.
When you want to forget it but you forget to.
When your heart drowns in the memories...
When your mind aches for the reminiscences.
Then you know that you are truly - ADDICTED!!



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