The Calm Before The Storm...

Life | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Comments (1)   
The unexpected tranquility engulfs you, forcing you into going numb. Some people say they like this feeling. These people, they lie. You continue, hoping that the blizzard can be delayed or even stopped...forever. But one has to be sure that the sudden rush of wind does not blow them away, to a place from where you cannot be brought back. I hope I am not blown too far away... to a place which is out of reach and out of sight.

Have you ever felt this feeling that all you want to do is sleep; sleep forever… sleep as if you were an infant, in the safe confines of your house? That state, whether it is common to others or not, is a feeling that I am experiencing now. Today, this hour, this minute and moment, I just want to sleep, go dormant, hibernate and entirely stop functioning. I am exhausted. And that is an understatement. In fact I have reached a state of numbness!

It's that point in your life when you want to give up on everything and it comes from exhaustion. The energy to reach out and thrust yourself beyond is saturated and you no longer have the urge to do the pushing anymore.

I really have no idea how to thrust myself now. Should I just let go, let things be, let the stillness encompass me the way fate wants, or should I still wrestle it?

I am today at a position where I have reached a blockade, a dead end, from where all I can do is falter. How can I circumvent this? How can I outwit, evade or dodge it? Especially when it is controlled by fate itself.

Isn’t it strange how destiny plays various parts in a life that shuns it and in fact doesn’t believe in it? How then do you make sure that what all you do rests in your hands alone? How can you win a battle against fate?


Obtaining Oblivion?

Life | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Add comment   
Am I living? I mean yes I am cause I breathe, eat, sleep, work, and do the normal things that every other being on the planet does. But the real question is: Am I living my life? Or am I wasting it pondering about the future, fearing the present and retrospecting the past.

Life most often has this habit of taking you to this threshold...this crossing and meeting of lives and places, where every direction seems to take you nowhere, every move worthless, every step futile. And at this junction, simply put, life is frustrating.

Sometimes I am jealous of people living in oblivion and for whom the world is just full of nothingness...and I know a couple of such people (read beings). I often wonder about what constitutes their identities and what rules and ideologies they follow and if I could copy or imitate their lives even a tiny bit, I'd probably not be sitting here, writing this. Life would be so much more simple.

But then again, I would not be me... would I? Who cares anyway? Or does someone?


Identities And Ideologies

Life | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Comments (2)   
A person without principles is like power without purpose. Is my life undergoing an identity crisis or is my identity erased?

Uniqueness and individuality without principles adn beliefs is impossible and would lead to a person having no aim or function. I have realized how important it is for people to have ideologies and beliefs. For thoughts and ideas are what make a man function and be. A complex concept could come across now… take a character in any movie and look for principles and beliefs, if that person has them, then the person is true not real but true.

For any person to be true and not fictional it is important for the person to have beliefs and thoughts, principles of his own. All of this is quite complex to me, as I am a person without a personal life. I would answer doubts on Brownian motion and Arecibo message than small questions on a persons’ life.

Three weeks of constant bombardment on my brain – is it important to become a good person without conscience or ethics or is it important to become a person with ethics who cannot put them into place?

So all that I do in life will be based on my set of ideologies and beliefs and if I have none, then who am I? This is where Indians as a whole go wrong - we are a country without belief or ideology! We are heading no where - or that's what I infer. Please state if I am wrong.

P.S. - Mistakes are of only one kind - what we make and learn from. For if we don't learn then its ego and self-esteem.


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