I am seeking my life. I am not talking about going from one day to another mundanely, depressed and feeling worthless. I am talking about living. About being okay with whom I am and feeling that I am worth something. I am seeking something bigger and better in my life. All this monotony and uniformity is killing me. I am also looking for something or someone to look up to, to idolize, to follow and pursue

I think most or at least a part of the problem lies in me. I tend to expect more out of life than just trivial talk and mundane days going by without any significance. My friends tell me to enjoy every moment, but I can’t. I tend to keep thinking more about what I wish for than what I have in hand. It’s like the old saying a bird in hand is worth two in the bush. But I keep looking for the two in the bush than the bird in hand.

Can I change? Will I change? Well only I and time can tell…