As I lay down on the bed in semi-consciousness, I try and recollect the vague events of the past few hours. And also some dark memories from a distant time.

I'm now numb on the bed. No feelings, no emotions, Only REFLEX!

Hours pass by in a wink, and I'm still thinking - of that elusive female in the white dress. Of the conversations which should have taken place in real life instead of in my head. Of things I should have said and done a year ago. Of the drive back home. Of things that truly don't matter anymore!

In between all this chaos, reality strikes. And it strikes hard. I realize that if someone you trust hurts you... Cry a river... Build a bridge... And GET OVER IT!! LET GO!!!
Let go…that’s easy when you spell it out…just two words which take just 5 keys to type in... But still people let go… And at times  they do it so mercilessly that you end up wondering, after all, was any of it worth it anyway?
The truth is I don’t feel like keying anything right now… because my thoughts process never stops in my mind and I find it increasingly difficult to focus on one of them… It’s pretty scary for me and I don’t want to face them. I don’t want to confront anything that sets my thoughts on fire and burns away the small hope that's left in my life.