1 Jul 2004
My best friend thinks I am an angel!
‘Ouchhhh ouchhhhh…my tummy hurts’…. he kept repeating that….ouch ouchhhh..
Apparently my dear friend and some of his other friends couldn’t resist the ‘chicken blah blah’ being served (I’m not sure of what they had eaten) and now had fallen sick! Now this guy was supposed to help me with an exam the next day instead I was attending to him ! He was burning up… And the fact that I had a goddamn important exam the next day didn’t cross my mind… I just wanted him to get better…
Some people matter so much to us…
I could do the craziest and weirdest of all things to make him me feel really important (he’s my best friend) … and then there are those times when I am put on ignore (thanks to his never-ending list of girlfriends or the girls he’s trying to impress, there is hardly any scope for me to go up on his list of priorities!)..… I feel like taking a boulder and breaking his head with it!
I have this feeling that I have always been there for him, be it when he had exams or had lost a loved one, or when he was going thru a broken relationship.. N he has been there for me in his own way.. but I keep telling myself that it is just not enough.. all the good he has ever done somehow jus gets blocked on my memory and is as good as he has done nothing.
The remorse of memory is the pain of having failed to enjoy yourself. Have u ever come to a time in which u looked back upon the past, and learned how little u had valued it? To find that days were happy when days are gone, to learn that one is passing through Elysium and not know it- that is one of the saddest of all experiences!
It is the little words we speak, the lil thoughts we think, the lil things we do or leave undone, the lil moments we waste or use wisely, the lil temptations, which we yield to or overcome- the lil things of every day that make or mar our future!
And too often we look upon the blurred side of actions- yes; of people too…we are continually misinterpreting people. There is a flower side in many an act, which we condemn because we only see the blurred side! (Like I always keep thinking he is inconsiderate and doesn’t care bout my feelings. Or maybe he thinks I don’t even have any feelings!!!!) Boy…I could go on n on..
But for now I find my contentment n consolation in that he probably thinks I am an Angel…u know… Angels are not fitted for sympathy; there is nothing in Angel life or angel nature to interpret struggle or pain!! Phew!! It is such a herculean task to stay positive all the time..but... Errr…for the day I chose to be an angel:)...
Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: har gadi badal rahi hain
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