11 Sep 2004

Symphony of silence!

Posted by Divakar in General | 5:08am

I walk through an emotional turbulence,

Yet, she mesmerizes me with her symphony of silence.

The bliss of solitude is now an addiction,

life is nothing but a self imposed crucifixion.

Current Mood: Lovestruck
Current Music: Runaway train

7 Sep 2004

Dead man walkin!!!

Posted by Divakar in General | 3:59am

Who said that there are no jobs in India??? I was very lonely this afternoon, had nothing to do and my heart was not into my assignment. So i decided to read one of the boring Australian newspapers(trust me guys, the newspapers here are really boring). On the contrary, it is very interesting to know that there is some news about India everyday. Well, i can assure you that you would never find anything about our It sectors doing well or our service industry capturing the eye of every nation. You would just find the news that amuses the "firang" and give them a chance to say "it happens only in India".

Well, coming back to the article: A school head master, retired sometime in june last year(btw...this happened somewhere near Delhi), and a month later, the poor guy passed away. However, a couple of days ago, his family recieved a letter from the state government.

Guess what the letter was about??? Well, it was his transfer orders and he's been posted to a different town as a head master of another school.

Now, who says that there are no jobs in India. Jobs are created even for the dead.

May his soul rest in peace!!!!!

Current Mood: Patriotic
Current Music: Ozzy- Perry mason

5 Sep 2004


Posted by Divakar in General | 6:45am

I look at her picture in the moonlight,

twisted memories in black and white.

The Godess of love smiles straight into my eyes,

deep down within, my heart cries.

She loves the spring of September,

she says the prayers, i never remember.

She likes the rides when it rains,

she smiles and takes all my pains.

She likes the ripples on the water,

she lived her life just a bit shorter.

How could she do this to me?

tied me with her love and set me free.

I smell her smile in the air,

I breathe her name, i care.

Current Mood: Bye!
Current Music: lost for words- pink floyd

1 Sep 2004

Creeping death

Posted by Divakar in General | 5:05am

"12 Nepalese killed in Iraq"! Well, this news has become a part of our daily lives. But have we thought about those families, who lost a son, a brother, a father or a beloved. Well, iam not trying to show that iam the only concerned person around, not trying to be God. Just realised that it is so easy to sit in an air conditioned room,listening to our favourite music and having some vodka. But just the thought of the gruisome beheading of 12 innocent people, churned my tummy. Well, i know, just the thought would not make any difference to the things that have been happening around and iam no super hero who would save this world. Just put myself in his shoes. What must have gone through his head?? fear, loved ones or a glimmer of hope of life or a few unanswered questions: why am i killed?? why ME?? and the only sound that he hears is the grounding of that sword, a few words spoken by his captives in an uncomprehensive language, flashes of all the loved ones and that strange darkness, one where there is no hope of light again. But what can i do??? i asked this to myself a billion times, disturbed and frustrated. I wish i could make some difference, lying in the bed helpless, thinking about my assignments. I could come up with just one conclusion: all i can do is pray and i will, but hope someone hears them, if there is one.

Current Mood: Worried
Current Music: Metallica- sad but true

31 Aug 2004


Posted by Divakar in General | 11:56am

I begin my search where the world ends,


I plant the seeds of hope and trust,


I nourish it with love and tenderness,


I protect it from the evil,


I relish its growth around me,


I see its influence on me.


I drown myself in this addiction,


I pray for eternity.


I ignore the thorns that start to grow,


I forget all my sorrows,


I bleed and I wake up,


I realize, I was looking at a shadow.

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Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: Long road- Pearl Jam

29 Aug 2004


Posted by Divakar in General | 8:06pm

Left alone to suffer in this world,

I wander all around in the cold,

looking for my identity which left me without a trace,

all i remember is that, people call me a scarface.

They look at this face which is mutilated,

I have taken it so much, always humiliated.

Longing for someone who can see the other side,

never found "the one", i tried and cried.

Current Mood: Sloshed
Current Music: Tantric- mourning

26 Aug 2004

Man in the mirror

Posted by Divakar in General | 8:09pm

I look at a face in the mirror,

I do not recognise him,

I try to capture his picture,

I do not memorize him.

He keeps smiling back at me, constanly,

never tries to convey anything,

and i carry the burden of his smile.

It was no da vinci code,

all he tried to say is,

"keep smiling and forget your sorrows,

cause there is another tomorrow.

The world does not understand your pain,

they think you are out of your brain.

Laughter is the best medicine i've known,

an ecstacy on which i've grown.

Bury this seed inside your heart,

nourish it well to live your remaining part".

I laughed and cared less about the aftermath,

Iam not drunk, but realise,

serendipity is my path.

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: fade to black- metallica

22 Aug 2004

One last time...

Posted by Divakar in General | 4:36pm

The last time i laughed,

everyone else around cried.

The last time i loved,

the world learned to hate.

The last time i dreamt,

the future looked unreal.

The last time i was hurt,

the wounds never healed.

The last time i prayed,

the Gods went insane.




Current Mood: Bad Hair Day
Current Music: Find the river- R E M

21 Aug 2004

Where are they???

Posted by Divakar in General | 1:21pm

The warmth of those delicate hands,
the whispers of the feet,
the feeling of that gentle touch,
the smile in the greet,
the fragrance that lingers,
the words that you speak,
the sweet shower of emotions,
the beauty at its peak.
The thunder in the eyes,
the freshness in the voice,
the ocean of a heart,
fortunate is the one of your choice.

Time took me to a different place,
left me lonely as always,
been searching for a glimpse eversince,
looking for a drop of trace,
searched every city, every lane,
i was left with an ounce of pain.
I feel you around when i pray,
but sometimes i really wonder,
where are they????
where are they????

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: matchbox20- unwell

14 Aug 2004

A Musical treat..oops!! THREAT

Posted by Divakar in General | 9:42am

Another massacre!! Well, this time it's not in Iraq or the usual suspects Al- Qaeda. This takes us to the world of music, a beautiful world we all live in. There is a serial killer, who chooses his prey and executes them mercilessly. This time, his prey was Freddy Mercury...yes guys, iam talking about William Hung who freaked me out of my bed last night with his version of "we are the champions". God have some mercy on Freddie's soul! He must have been out of his grave, wondering how ruthless the world could be.

Hung is an instant hit all over the world. Merchandise made in his name. I agree, it was funny the first time, when he innocently did the cover of "She bangs". The world supported him for his innocence and i was one among them. But whats wrong with the world now?? Placed his album among the top 50 on the Billboard!!! and all he does on that album is kill some classics in the most sadistic way possible. Well, its high time  people understand that a joke can be enjoyed only once, repeating it over and over again can make it really sour. Freddie, i pray for you and may your soul rest in peace!!!

Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: cold play- parachute

12 Aug 2004

Memories still remain...

Posted by Divakar in General | 6:08pm

It was dark, cold and annoyingly beautiful. Sitting on a bench at the st. kilda beach, i lit a cigarette. The cold wind across my face  blew the smoke all around. For some reason, the ocean was... silent, quiet, dead as a wood; like a child sleeping in her mothers arms, innocent, beautiful!!

The only light that was visible, was coming from a distant ship, like a heart beat, a pulse. What was i doing there? Waiting for the sun to rise? Hoping for a bright force of light, a better tomorrow? The silence and the darkness around was killing me. Went there anticipating a wild ocean, water splashing all over my facefrom an angry tide, just to realise that those wild angry tides were buried deep inside of me. I see a couple walking by, probabaly in their fifties, wrinkle faced, slow walkers; 'lonely' can never be the word, iam always surrounded by people, but tonight, something's missing, something different, something haunting.

That smile flashes on my mind again. Fresh as a dew on a green leaf, like an addiction which has no rehabilitation, like the smell of the sand before the rain. I feel the moist in my eyes, i can see the pulse of the ship no more. Total darkness, a fear i always carried around me, like a halo, the darkness of the past.

I take a quick look around, "a stranger in Melbourne", and i start wandering aimlessly.

Parting ways has never been easy. It looked like a journey with no destination, without her. Truth is always stranger that the fiction, and the truth is that the past looks like a fiction, unbelievable!!

I wrote to her several times, expecting a post- mortem, a few unanswered questions. "Why did this happen to us?" "Us?", "there has never been and never will be 'Us' anymore. Its high time you realise it. I had a past, which i could not forget, Iam sorry for what i have done to you". Game, set and match!!

I always realised that words could influence, but i was late to realise how they could tear one apart, probably thats what is called "killing softly". Well, those words were said a few years ago, all said and done, and i moved on with my life. But i could sometimes feel that hang over, the uneasiness and the memories still remain.....

Current Mood: Heartbroken
Current Music: Pink Floyd- comfortably numb
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