Posted by Deidamea 29 January 2005, 9:21pm
If you believe in God then you have to believe in the devil.

IS that true? I heard my cousin tell me that and she's shit scared of the dark and devilish. I somehow don't believe in Devils but her one line is making me think a bit too much.

I tried to reason myself,

If you think you can pass then you can fail.(still a school girls mind)

If you think you can live today then you can die today.

I don't know I just came up with the most stupid thoughts like these but I'm not able to counter my cousins line. Seriously, I don't wanna sit and believe that there exists a devil, downstairs in my house if I go to drink water at 2 in the night.

I told my cousin I went down stairs at 2 in the night and she was like WHOA, aren't you scared? That's how the story started.

I had an awesome dream last night, apparently I was talking to 2 people at the foot of my bed. Lets call them dead man and dead woman. They are talking, I interfere and say hey guys wassup? and dead woman responds why dint you cry when I died? Apparently I was dumb struck and I said well I dint feel like it. Dead man gets angry and says Your not suppose to say that to a dead woman and yells at me a little more.

I wonder what that mean............I CAN SEE DEAD PEOPLE!


Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: Oasis- Dyou know what i mean

Posted by Deidamea 28 January 2005, 8:07am
I never thought I'll ever be able to achieve this position in the

community of boredom. I have officially hit the zenith of boredom.

If there is anyone more bored than me, I would personally see to it

that they receive an international award. I am the mother of all

boredom. If I could find a wall which was not paper thin I'd love to
go bang my head to it.

I was invited to go swing dancing this Saturday .......argh I cant freakin date for me...........not that i care
I wont be allowed to get out of the house after 9 anyway.

I should kill myself, its high time.


Current Mood: Bored
Current Music: Unwell-matchbox20

Posted by Deidamea 25 January 2005, 12:43pm

Have you ever had one of those moments when you thought your life


just fell apart within seconds of your scummy existence? Or worse did


it take a lot longer than that…like hours, weeks, days and years. How


does that feel to know that you are doing the wrong thing and yet you


continue like a snob so adamant that it pisses you of a lot more?


What if you were a perfectionist beyond the limits of perfection? What


if the world wasn’t ready for you perfection? AND what if the


damnned world was’nt even ready for the adamant person that you




AND WHAT if it wasnt ready for you


what would you do?




Current Mood: Sloshed
Current Music: I dont wanna be- gaven dcgraw (wht ever the spellin is...go figure)

Posted by Deidamea 18 January 2005, 12:03pm

SAD  things in life (mostly mine!)

 let me just rate it down to 10 most sad things in the past 6months.

10 Sita deleting her blog and not allowing any comments on her yanother blog....gochhu i might kill you

9 me rhyming on 10

8 Lilly deleting her blog...why did she do it? it was so niceee

7 me liking pre historic egyptian art after admiring a naked pregnant woman's  4 inch statue for 10mins and observing it...Im not a pervert

6 my guitar sounding extremely sad (nirvana could sound like Oasis painfullllll) I dont know how much i had to vend it to make it sound that sad

5 Me realizing axl is still alive just 3 months ago

4 me realizing Kurt is dead 1 month ago

3 me falling in love with this dead dude

2 Me trying to bring him back from the dead...fh any experience in necromancy?

1 Me writin this post sad very sad



Am in love with Kurt and i think i need help

Am in love with a dead guy and i think i need help.

For all those of you  who still dont know who Kurt is....well its about time you got to know.

WHy is he is so unfair


Current Mood: Heartbroken
Current Music: NIRVANA (wht did u expect gnr?)

Posted by Deidamea 14 January 2005, 10:19pm

< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 


Sometimes you wonder how people think so different and feel so different, similarly I read something which is worth talking about. My utter joblessness in my winter brake drove me to reading this magazine called “COSMO girl”


Its got some ridiculous crap about how to date, kiss, bla blab bla……the regular teen magazine crap BUT it also includes this column called confessions which I happen to read. There was this one girl who admitted she likes……..Well I think it would be better if you read it in her own words. I’m taking the trouble of actually typing this crap so you better take the trouble of reading it.




So the exact words of this girl were


“I am ashamed to say this, but I love the smell of people’s farts. Ever since I was a little girl, it amazed me, whenever someone farts, I take a big whiff and then cover my face and pretend to be disgusted like everyone else. I don’t know what attracts me to the smell, but I can’t seem to get enough.”


My jaw dropped for a pretty long time and I was so grossed out after reading it. I mean yeah people are into some weird stuff but a liking towards the smell of farts




I share this magical post with you because I want you to be equally disgusted and yeah welcome to the real stinky world.



Current Mood: Sick
Current Music: none

Posted by Deidamea 13 January 2005, 10:22pm


< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Late but well I atleast wished ya’ll…..

I did not have a comp and I did not have college hence no INTERNET




You will see more of my posts now because I have cable net at home unlike the slow dialup I used to have so …….more more more and a lot more


Really feel like posting something more but nothing to say


Hope you guys had fun and uh ohh almost forgot



Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: Oasis- go let it out

Posted by Deidamea 26 December 2004, 5:56pm

I heard a shit load about the nostredame dude…..a shit load I say.

Me awfully jobless me who never ever read a book even when my best friend said that she’d do my homework for 10days if I read harry potter I refused to read it….me the great stubborn me decided to read this guys prophecies.

I brought that book but am yet to read it anyway

< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

I spoke to my cousin who has read some particular version which is apparently far from my reach and so she tells me that in the future to come



 Errr lemme rephrase that only Indians are gonna  live (apparently)

The DUDE predicted that every nations in the world will DIE except the one surrounded by water on 3 sides or something like that…..which in the end means < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />India

Me got chills up my spine

Apparently it will be ruled by some Punjabi dude

Nahiiiiii me not interested in being ruled by Mr balle balle

Me never likes Punjabi ding chak music neither will I in the future


No coming back to the serious stuff, what if the world comes to an end like this dude predicted and since all of his predictions have come true…..




Should I come back to India??

Might be a god idea ……




What if everything was predictable in life, what if our life is already written?

I mean I know some people believe that everything is already written in every persons life but isn’t that awfully boring?


A very boring thing........

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: velvet revolver

Posted by Deidamea 25 December 2004, 2:45pm

My freakin khandan and I have been shifting since the past 10days.

I have no computer, no TV, NO music sys, no books   nuttin wht so ever

I think am gonna die

May be i should try killing myself

am writing this post from a friends house

am still thinking about killing myself

any ideas guys????

Current Mood: Screwed
Current Music: no music baap....wht music? frm whr will i get music

Posted by Deidamea 22 December 2004, 2:12am

The Plane old plane old days…long boring, insipid ugh u pick the synonyms to get the picture of my long borings days. Well it was boring until a fat, fair semi Chinese, semi jamican who worked in the store came in to make my life a living hell.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Lisa she said, Blur said I.

AND then started the color full flow of sharp edgy conversations.

She spoke, oh GOD she spoke and she spoke until (I think) blood dripped out of my ears. She is probably the definitions of chatter box.


Me the biggest idiot on the face of earth had to ask her hey Lisa so whats happening in your life temme am bored….”entertain and enlighten” I believe were my exact words (why oh why couldn’t I keep my freaking gobs shut)


AND so it begins.

Lisa: Al was not home last night, I  think he’s cheating on me

Me:  What makes you think so? (Of course he’d cheat on that hippo)

Lisa: Just the way he is acting around me lately

Me: hmm hey tell me how did you guys meet?

(Now why would I ask her a question like that?)

Lisa: Well you know I was married and my x husband cheated on me with my best friend. (Ugh crude) He cheated on me for 6 years like that so the day I found out that I was a mess and I was at home crying. Al was my friend and he came home to meet me and looking at me like thatttt he realized that he should stay back and take care of me.

Me: NO NO stop there I think I know where this is going

Lisa: oh shut up and listen

Me: ok (do I have a choice)

Lisa: So gradually one thing led to another and we had sex. Damn it was the best sex I ever had, 4hours of amazing sex

Me: STOP! STOP! (According to my family am not even suppose to know the spelling of sex…leave apart the kind of sex you had



All of a sudden my aunt walks in and Lisa is still laughing so my aunt asks her the reason (why couldn’t she just shut up)


Aunt: what are you guys talking about?

Lisa: we are talking about sex, am educations blur about sex

 (Me getting out of this world looks from my aunt. I wanted to run as fast as I could and hide on the top of some tree or something and stay there for the rest of my life)


Aunt: Lisa may be you shouldn’t talk to my niece bout stuff like that

Lisa: Oh common she is 17, she should know about these things

Me: NO I do NOT want to know. I like being ignorant, I think its my birth right (seriously what would I do knowing that she had the 4 hours of best sex ever with her boyfriend)

Aunt: speechless

Me: speechless

Lisa: blabbering still about her sex life.

Me: blood dripping tup tup tup out my ears



After that day I decided never to push her about her life and NEVER EVER to ask her about her boyfriend



P.S < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />AL is her boyfriend whom she cutely named after al pachino and no he doesn’t look anywhere close to al pachino. The first time I looked at him I think I started at him for almost 10mins to figure out why ever on earth she calls him al.



Current Mood: Sloshed
Current Music: Dream theater- lie

Posted by Deidamea 15 December 2004, 8:50pm

And I don't want the world to see me,
`cause I don't think that they'd understand,
And when everything is meant to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am...”

The lines of goo goo dolls making so very much sense.

Don’t they, don’t you feel like hiding more than you wish?

Don’t you ever think that you hide from what you are just like everyone else?

There’s such an exaggerated mask so thick that you forget to be yourself more than others...the more you pretend the more you become the person your not.
I read somewhere (don’t remember where right now)  “Be careful of what you pretend to be cause soon you are what you pretend to be”

So as we constantly pretend we take a step a day to moving forward becoming what we are are not but then aren’t we changing? Isn’t change inevitable?
Often I here people saying change is a part of life then

why is pretending bad?
why is not being yourself bad?
imitating others bad?
Trying to be someone else bad?

Identity theft BAD????

Wondering If change related to pretension related to individuality to Identity theft to LIFE bad???


Current Mood: Bored
Current Music: Iris- goo goo dolls

Posted by Deidamea 14 December 2004, 9:58pm

C'mon let us do the dew

How the most beautiful and smallest things in nature that go unnoticed keeps amazing me.

Just enlightening my fellow bloggers incase you did not know

Isnt that a cool pic?

Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: dheemi dheemi- 1947 earth

Posted by Deidamea 13 December 2004, 2:25am

There are awfully few days when you think that life is just perfect. When your grades are perfect, when your mum doesn’t hold you responsible for the fight across the street, when your crush smiles back at you, when your homework accidentally somehow turned out to be correct. Very few days like that huh. < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I was having one of those days YESTERDAY until it all came crashing down with my final exam. I basically needed a 97 on my final to hit an A in the class, but did I? Well if I did then this post would have been a hell lot different. I screwed the exam up big time and as I walked out I had one of those moments. Why did I not study? Am such an idiot. I should have spared 5mins more on extremes…ugh those graph those fucked up graphs. Who was that sodomized creep who thought of those pathetic graphs? I had one of those memorable hyderabadi thoughts. After every exam I used to walk out and this was the typical conversation I used to have with my friends, ofcourse the language was ahem ahem a bit more extreme than this but my point is brooding about the things I did not do. Not studying a chapter, not apologizing in time, not telling him that I loved him for 2 years (WHOA I know) So many things in my life that I did not do.

I remember my groupies telling me that am like Courtney Cox in  friends (wtf) I argued in self defense that time but later I realized, I am like her. To TOP it all of am talking like a woman in her eighties, ahh the things I never did, fuck am not even in my twenties, there is so much more I could do but well I don’t know where to start. Getting wild ideas which are far far far from my reach. Any ideas thoughts from were to start?

Am not talking or thinking perverted (HELL NO).

Thinking some fun

Thinking some major fun

Thinking to make my friends jaws drop


WHAT Could I do change opinions?

Any ideas?

Fellow bloggers?



Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: Jason Marx- Remedy

Posted by Deidamea 07 December 2004, 11:13am

I have had a crush on him since 7th grade, too bad hes wayy outta my reach, he just too good for me. My dad is really proud of him apparently he is spreading out family name faster than anyone in his family (which I might add is a baseball team) He is a PROUD father of more than a hundread darlings. Surprising haan a darling like that with thattt much libido lol.

He never seems to stop amazing me, was with me since my 7th grade, the love of my life, scorpion born on Nov1st, 6 yrs old now and am still madly in love with him.

Still far outta my reach and one of the very few, that who i actually fell in love with


tell me.......who can resist him???? he is the coolest dude in the area

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: Kidrock- never met a mother fucker quite like me

Posted by Deidamea 04 December 2004, 11:29am

Staring at the dark sky, looked at those countless stars, I saw so many many many stars, the sky with no limit, the beautiful blue which looked deeper than ever, made me think………… just such a tiny frail petal of existence on this planet. My existence known to a very small fraction of this world yet my problems seem like the world to me. < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

When my thoughts meander more than they should I think may be getting a B on my case study, missing home, the fact that I don’t feel special, don’t feel like I belong here might not be the end of the world. When am such a small part of this world, when am just a tiny fraction of existence then why is it that I am so scared of this world that doesn’t even care about me? Just realizing that my problems are not as big as the iraq war (lol) learning to live better.......

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: creed- One last breath

Posted by Deidamea 30 November 2004, 9:46am

Have you ever met a guy who is blonde, blue eyes, good physique, 6ft tall and is totally cool? Well yeah am sure if you have been to < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />America, I bet you have.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I have a similar guy in calculus class, was damn sweet, everything you could hope for in a guy pal. He was funny, cute, did not act like a dude, dint show off or anything, he was just perfect. One thing I found strange was he had long hair, beautiful blonde hair might I add but considering the fact that it was longer than mine and obviously looked better than mine or anybody in the class kinda turned me off. Anyway spent three months sitting next to this guy in class, spoke to him, studied with him, had lunch with him, in the end I mean to say I hung out with him.  He used to often tell me about his pretty girlfriend, just found that stuff interesting. One day he finally told me he split up with his gurl because ahem ahem ahem she caught him sleeping with another guy.

I was like holllly shit are you gay???? He was like no am bisexual. You should have seen my face, y jaw dropped to the floor and I think my tongue rolled out almost for 2 miles. I was seriously trying to control that pathetic look on my face while he was trying to explain how much he misses his girlfriend and how much he likes having sex with his boyfriend but it was very very very DIFFICULT.

I always wanted a gay friend, you know a guys perspective and a girls perspective but this more than what I bargained for. Now he cut his hair, its short and spikes it everyday because he split with his gay boyfriend to again start dating girls. CONFUSED……………………….totally confused. I was taken back, I was like, I hung out with this guy…..thank god he dint ask me out.

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: Cold- crossfade

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