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Names

Neurotron | 2 June 2004, 2:45pm

Sometimes, stuff just has to be said.

First things first - the name is NeuROtron. Not 'neutron'. There is a specific reason for this. If you are unable to comprehend, as seems to be the case with a few, do not worry - I will not call you dumb. But seeing the name spelt one way, right there in front of you, and STILL getting it wrong...well, that just begs a whack on the obviously malfuntioning cranium.

A neutron, at a basic physics level, is neutral. I am not. It sits in the centre of an atom and, for most practical purposes, does precisely fuck-all. I do not.

Now 'Neurotron', I would imagine, should not be too difficult to understand. 'Neuro-' refers to the brain, and '-tron' refers to machine. As in cyclotron, or animatron. Essentially, 'Neurotron' was meant to signify a 'brain-machine'. An entity that exits and survives by, and for, neural activity and stimulation. As we all are. Well, not all, by the looks of it.

I would have thought the blog description might have provided some clue. I even managed to put the title of Roger Waters' famous song 'Welcome to the Machine' in there. I guess I shouldn't have bothered.

So please...people I know/like can play with the name. Because I can at least imagine they understand the name. One does not, or at least should not, fuck around with something one does not understand. And remember what Mommy said - 'Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups'

Now, you wouldn't want me to call you 'assumption', would you?


Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: Scum of the earth - Rob Zombie

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Story of Pee

Neurotron | 1 June 2004, 3:50pm



‘Pee’ is not a word.

‘To pee’ is not, or should not be, a verb. I have my theories on the origin of ‘pee’. I imagine it was invented by some socially conscious mother to keep her renally, and verbally, hyperactive child from inadvertently blurting out he wants to urinate. That would be so embarrassing, wouldn’t it? Can’t blame the child, really. Can’t expect a young one between the ages of 5-10 to say ‘Mother, I would like to urinate’ or ‘ I would like to be excused to attend to the call of nature’. ‘I want to go’ might introduce complications such as ‘Go where? Why? Who with? She’s not right for you!’ and the like. Or worse, the nightmarish – ‘Mom, I went’.

And it would have to be a little boy, wouldn’t it? I mean, we lot develop concepts of shame or socially acceptable behaviour quite late. Masculine contests relating to size and what you can do with it are essentially age-no-bar. How far, or how high is how legends are born; and they stay legends forever. ‘How small’ is essentially the entry criterion to Loserville, and there you shall stay for the rest of your pathetic, measly existence. There’s really no point to size contests with women contestants because, let’s face it, it’s a no-brainer. It’s all rather obvious. Which makes our jobs easier, initially, and that’s why we spend all that time and money trying to find out if there’s anything else worth bragging about to the guys. As in ‘..and she’s got brains too!’. No shame there, guys. If women were attracted to, and fell over themselves to bag the guy with the most brains, there would be no such species as The Geek.

But I digress.

So the little boy’s mother decided to develop a code word. Thus, the code is to ‘P’, not ‘pee’. As in, she picked the first letter of the word ‘Piss’. Now, Piss. There’s a word! It’s been used since time immemorial to signify that wonderful, natural activity. I say ‘wonderful’ because, as far as guys go, the world is our p-ground. And ‘Piss’ has so many other usages – piss drunk, piss off, take a piss at or take the piss out of someone, pisser (yes, that’s what it means), pisshead…not ‘pee’, for crying out loud. Get your facts straight – the Father of the (non) word ‘pee’ is ‘PISS’.

Use it, that’s what it’s there for. And tell your children the truth. As if we don’t tell them enough lies already.


Current Mood: Bored
Current Music: Call of the Tribes - Karunesh

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Oh, brother.

Neurotron | 31 May 2004, 11:59pm

Normally, if you see a person you know or a friend on the front page of the newspaper, you'd feel happy.

But if it's for murder, with a term of imprisonment involved, things are a little different. Damn! is the first thing that came to my mind. I mean, I knew he'd gotten into some shit, I'd even heard about it all the way in London, but I didn't know it was this serious. Holy Crap.

A few years ago, there was this other guy who used to hit majorly on my friend and my then girlfriend. It seemed to be all in good fun - he picked them up from college, took them around, went to parties...fun. He was rich, former model, fancy car - the works. My girlfriend was beginning to get somewhat wary of his advances and I was deciding on a good time to sort of confront him and tell him to back off.
BAM!
A week later, he's arrested for rape, blackmail, extortion and godknowswhat.

Hoo boy. I seem to be well on my way to achieving my childhood ambition of being a rich and powerful gangster - I've now got connections.

Mom will be so happy...she always did want a bhai.



Current Mood: Relieved
Current Music: The AC

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For you

Neurotron | 31 May 2004, 3:20pm



I soldier on for you. Rain, shine, storm - they mean nothing in my journey. If I am impeded, it will only be by thoughts of you that beg my urgent attention. They are the one enemy I cannot resist; yet they are the very streams of sustenance which help me forge on. Mountains, vales, barren, hostile lands – I will traverse them all. For you.

What was an error then will be a travesty now, if I do not find you. Unknown to you, I still live only to see the divinity in your eyes and to burn in the flames of your heart. I questioned each stride I took, lest it make me unworthy. I beseech you, let my breath in ragged gasps blow gently over the dying embers of a once glorious love. Let the fire rage again, let its warmth envelope you as it once did. Let the promise of your soul guide my weary steps on my eternal quest.


Current Mood: Heroic
Current Music: If I ever lose my faith in you - Sting

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How?

Neurotron | 28 May 2004, 7:26pm

Live Faust, die Jung, and leave behind a beautiful body...


Current Mood: Crude
Current Music: Afraid to shoot strangers - Iron Maiden

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Zyroz Max

Neurotron | 28 May 2004, 2:09pm

It was the first day of Class IX.

An excited bunch of students waited for the first class of the academic year. At least, I was excited. The textbooks I skimmed through during the holidays seemed mildly interesting, but it was exciting to be back in the same classroom I had studied Class III in. That was an exciting year, what with the discovery of girlkind (we were VERY early bloomers) and a classmate asking the class teacher if she would marry him. But that's another story.

He broke my reverie. He strode in, dark, swarthy, slightly tall. I say 'slightly' because it was all relative - I was a very late bloomer height-wise - he seemed tall to me. Come to think of it, so did everyone else. Anyway, a hush descended upon the classroom. He was new, an unknown quantity, and therefore something to be feared.
He stood in front of the blackboard and looked like he was ready to address us. I'll never forget his next two lines.

"I...am Zyroz."

And I'm thinking what a fucking COOL name for a teacher! Zyroz...Zyroz...I rolled the name around in my mouth. It sounded so cool. My hyperactive imagination took off. Maybe he knows Zaphod Beeblebrox, maybe his name is derived from a lost line of Mayan kings, maybe he's into death metal and we can bond and he can introduce me to substance abuse! Wow. And he must have had a difficult childhood - with a name like that, imagine the wait till your name was called at morning roll call! Traumatic.
And then came the second line.

“I will teach you Max”.

I couldn’t believe it. This dude was going to teach me ‘Max’, whatever that was. But who cares? It sounds so cool! Maybe it’s like some lost skill or art, passed down only by word of mouth from teacher to pupil, and has been for generations and generations. Maybe it was the code of some secret sect and we would be inducted by this dark, mysterious stranger. Maybe it was some way to discover hidden powers within yourself and hence, ‘max’imise your potential. Maybe…

You get the picture. Yes, I had a hyperactive imagination which would skyrocket at the slightest mention of any remotely intellectual activity. If you knew the company I had, you probably wouldn’t have blamed me. Anyway, I was preparing for a year of excitement and discovery; preparing to be shown a higher plane. Zyroz turned to the blackboard and began to write. Slowly, my jaw began to drop. Confusion. Non-comprehension.

“ We’ll start with Yinteasers”. Some how the coolness of the sound and the profound dumbness of the word he’d written did not seem to match. He had written:

‘Integers’.

It was like that track-in,zoom-out shot they do nowadays in the movies. It dawned on me, rather painfully. Zyroz was not cool. He was not going to show me the Way or the Path. He was not going to rescue me from...well, whatever it was I was stuck in. It was like my world had crashed and I’d lost all faith and hope. Thankfully, Mr. Jairaj’s Maths classes didn’t last very long, he left two excruciatingly painful weeks later. But not without leaving an indelible mark on a young boy forever. No wonder I became what I am.

I am still confused when a person puts a ‘laaang yeff’ in front of a Greek alphabet and asks me to carry out a mathematical procedure. And I get this vague feeling he might be talking about ‘Fren-zay-son.


Current Mood: Itching For One
Current Music: When we were the new boys - Rod Stewart

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Hmmm

Neurotron | 28 May 2004, 12:21am

"Who says life is sacred? God?
Hey, if you read your history, God is one of the leading causes of death."

- George Carlin

Saw The Passion of the Christ last night. Being into movies, I could appreciate the cinematic aspects of the film. The acting, the makeup (v good)...there was only one problem...

There seemed to be absolutely NO point to the film.

I could, but I'd rather not go into a full fledged religious discussion here - it serves no purpose if we are not face to face. I could see only two justifications for the making of this film. Mel Gibson was contemplating suicide before he made this, and he says it saved him. A very personal reason. Fair enough.

Second, probably the last two generations of Christians haven't had a visual image of Christ's suffering and sacrifice. So this movie serves to pump up the 'he died for our sins' guilt trip a notch or two. Being washed over by emotion and pity for the flogging they saw on screen, maybe some people felt their faith reaffirmed.

What.Ever.

As a movie, it was not great. Not sure what all the ruckus was about - I didn't find anything too controversial, except for maybe the Last Temptation scene at the beginning. For me, the worth of a movie lies in its 're-watch' value. For me, The Passion of the Christ had...

Zip.


Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: I stand alone - Godsmack

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1.41 a.m.

Neurotron | 26 May 2004, 9:14am

You left
our stories intricately intertwined
The first lattice not by hand
or conscious design
I, below the banyans, oaks, pine
for day before's tomorrow.

I left
my heart amongst the flowers
you once walked
The fragments tinkle in summer showers
else suffocate in a time capsule, dusty, locked
Above the solitude a pain towers
as I try not to be too shocked
by the sudden gashes in happiness
which now bleed into sorrow...



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: All I want is you - U2

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Psychology and Me

Neurotron | 25 May 2004, 8:23pm

I think the sole purpose of psychology is to confirm your worst suspicions and convince you that you are, in fact, crazy.

I was introduced to the joys of amateur psychology way back when. Of course, I knew right then I was sort of a little 'on the turning away', shall we say. But the joy of that inner chuckle when you look at the other dorks in the playground and think to yourself "heh heh heh...I know what makes you tick, you weasel" can never be underestimated. I am, of course, still a raving lunatic waiting to happen.

The sex-obsessed Freud was God. I mean, he said it was ok to be obsessed with sex. A guy can't get cooler than THAT! Everything bad in your sorry-ass life now was the direct result of some trauma inflicted on your poor, immature psyche when you were a child. Hence, nothing is YOUR fault, really. One can get away with murder. Hmmm...maybe this explains why I love Frasier so much. Among many other reasons, of course, not least of which is the brand of humour.

Ohhhh yeaaahhh...I love psychology. We go way back...


Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: Creep - Radiohead

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Calvin, soul bruvva...

Neurotron | 25 May 2004, 1:13pm

Holy Crap - it just does not get better than Calvin.

I was just reading a whole lot of Calvin quotes on another blog and I would sorely like to put them up here too, but...
On second thought, I will.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world!
Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it just seemed wrong to cheat on an ethics test.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------
If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no real application in life.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Calvin: Know what I pray for?
Hobbes: What?
Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I say, if your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Hobbes: What would you call the creation of the universe? Calvin: The Horrendous Space Kablooie!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Who wouldn't be interested in everything we do?!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This one's tricky. You have to use imaginary numbers, like eleventeen
-------------------------------------------------------------------
You can present the material, but you can't make me care.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
YAAH! DEATH TO OATMEAL!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life .... Procrastinating and rationalizing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Reality continues to ruin my life.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak.
Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I liked things better when I didn't understand them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Is it a right to remain ignorant?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I think nighttime is dark so you can imagine your fears with less distraction.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Wormwood: What state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial.
Miss Wormwood: I don't suppose I can argue with that...
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the point of wearing your favourite rocketship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
My life needs a rewind/erase button.

This shit is just too funny. I've read them many times, but every time, I find a new angle and I'm rolling with laughter.
Well, rolling as much as is possible sitting upright in my chair at an office filled with the non-Calvin-initiated. Sadly, there wouldn't be a point to initiating them anyway...

Sighhhhh....poor souls.



Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix

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Lost.

Neurotron | 24 May 2004, 9:31pm

Inertia - where art thou??
Oh, there you are...
Energy, creativity, will/need to do something - where art thou??
(Silence. Wind whooshing thru dark, dusty, cavernous hallways in my mind...)

Et tu Vodke? Then fall Breezer...


Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: None

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When the water runs dry...

Neurotron | 24 May 2004, 9:26pm

There are two ways this post could go - it could be serious, or it could be funny...


Hey whaddaya know...just found a third..


*poof!*

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: I disappear - Metallica

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Lost again!

Neurotron | 24 May 2004, 5:33pm

damn! Just typed a nice long post and lost it to the 30 minute Cinderella deadline.
Now, my lovely horse and carriage have become this sorry, whiny-ass pumpkin...
waaaaahhh!!


Current Mood: Bad Hair Day
Current Music: Why - Annie Lennox

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Intelligence

Neurotron | 18 May 2004, 9:08pm

Obvious intelligence...

Moth to a flame, moth to a flame....

Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: Soul Asylum

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*gestures hypnotically*

Neurotron | 17 May 2004, 3:57pm

change paragraph..(presses 'enter' thrice) change paragraph...(presses 'enter' thrice) change paragraph..

did it happen?? If it did, yay! Now, was I, as usual, the last to know about this? And would I have remained for ever in the depths of darkness if not for Krits and JLU? So many kossans...please, let there be some way i dont have to keep typing the break code to change paras... did it work now?? Damn...

Current Mood: Pukey
Current Music: None

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