9 Jun 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 8:46am

  • Eat... pretty much all the time- as long as their jaws are masticating something-anything - the contentment quotient runs high.Chips,bits of fruit, shreds of paper etc
  • Watch a lot of TV -sports, weather (satellite updates, humidity patches, Venus transiting the sun/moon/whatever), news, runs and re-runs of Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond
  • Argue - about Sonia, punctuation, sports, size of boxer shorts, who gets the remote, who gets the DVD player, how much to pay the auto-wala, was Tendulkar actually run-out...
  • Jab fingers in the air - whther it's the usual 'akhara politics' thats up for discusion, stats of some cricket match played in the Carribean, cut-offs of colleges, headbanging, pointing to direction of fire, checking which way the wind is blowing - them digits are always jabbing frantically.
  • Refuse to have baths - and thereby indulge in appallingly low standards of hygiene

women, stop grinning...there's more to come...Guy's you wanna add-on what you actually like to do?

Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: U r so vain- Carly Simon

3 Jun 2004

Jimmy Neutron- BOY GENIUS

Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 10:13pm

completely redundant title. Anyways...here is another one of my gems..hee hee..(this is what is called Underemployed! hyuk!) THE FOLLOWING PIECE IS FOR ANYONE WHO'S BEEN BULLIED IN FRIENDSHIP (one of the best feelings ever!)


They say you have to get down with the dogs to get the fleas,

Sweeping away me begs, me rants, me pleas

Despite me emotions reigned in on a petit petit leash

I find myself giving way...

Like a pooch in the park,

A grin...

 stupid, evident and stark

a huge smouldering ember,

where me brain should be

glowing like a star,

a whatchamacallit a quark?


pooh pooh romance, pish-tosh flowers,

not game for me


a tug here, a tumble,

watch that punch there!

more physical violence-
and i'm game - as game as game can be!


Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: NUTHIN

27 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 11:12pm

Just like a hangover is the wrath of grapes....a profession for which you are overqualified should overpay and hence underwork you....ridiculous utterings..adn that too at presicely 1.33 in the afternoon!..i just realized I can't spell right for all the bananas in the world..there..phew managed to get that right.

Other words that I take eons to spell right - foreing (as in foreign) buffalo (is that spelt right? hallelujah!) etc

whoops..boss laert! (and yeah..'alert!')

Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: Suicide blonde

25 May 2004

Smack my bitch up!

Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 2:56am

Didja miss me? I know I'm irrestible!

Just like a house on top of a hill cannot be hidden for long..you, my dear friends (coupled with some devious forces of nature) cannot pin me down! the jack-in-the-box has re-emerged..apllause applause!

okay fine I'll put you out of ur agony and get this over with yeah!!so haven't posted blogs ...thereby allowing you to utilize your time in office for the actual purpose for which you were hired by that ISO 100 company..er..for working!!? for people like me thats an alien concept...a little like making your bed when you wake up? huh!! people ACTAULLY DO THAT..(SCRATCH SCRATCH!)!!!

anyways..have been extrmely busy trying to look busy..adn must tell you comrades..nuhting is more exhausting than that! there's only for so long that you can shuffle papers, re-arrange notes, clean nad re-fill your stapler (all the while tossing nervous glances across ur shoulders)...no sirree..all this and more is accomplished in an astonishgly short span of time..so figuring out and new and more ingeniuos methods to look devilishly busy...is in on word... EXHAUSTING!

here is the update..the Office Blab is back! he was reportedly down with some ridiculous disease which only 3 year olds get! I guess because of his mental age..he somehow qualified to get it!! anyways he's back and needless to say..i'm annoyed! hrrmph!

spent the past hour sending forwards to friends and stuff! i guess they should have a clause in my contract that deems it nessary for me to waste a certain number of hours at work! I would gladly sign on the dotted line..professionalism at it's best!

okay! gotta run..my stapler beckons!


Current Mood: Destructive
Current Music: Murder! dont ask

15 May 2004

vande mata-ROME

Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 5:33pm

like one billion people had to vote for the shepherd-ess of Orbassano! shame ! (wagging finger..pointing accusingly! nope..am not right wing..justa  little pissed!) anyways..no politics! promise!

Current Mood: Amazed
Current Music: nope, nuthin again

13 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 11:39am

The Indian Postal system is really efficient..i say this great confidence because I have on several occasions posted stuff and it ahs rather safely reached the intended reciepients...

well,t eh point of this post?hee hee pun intended..! I was walking down today..saw a twig and the follwing postal thoughts whizzed thru my head..

1)If you a picka twig (a lrge one..the type you herd goats with..not big enuff for buffaloes..but big enough for a small battlaion of goats) ..anyways..picka twig..licka  stamp and stick it on it...and post it...will it reach the person..oh yea..we will put a small sticker wiht the address on it...so the all important question is ...WILL IT REACH THE PERSON?

cribbyscamp says it shud...it's got a stamp..plus an address..so it shud reach the person!! i'm gonna try and mail myself a twig tomrrow!

2)England has strict laws regarding possesion of heroin right? so suppose we take a small amount of crack, slip it in an envelope and then mail it to the Queen...then catch ehr opening it and THEN (TA DA!) ..TRY HER FOR POSSESION!!!!...wouldn't that be ...hee hee 'cracking'...?imagine the old doderring hack spending  a night in some wayward cell for possesion of drugs! old horse face Charles will havta bail her out..hee hee...this is hilarious!!

Current Mood: Evil

13 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 11:20am

Is it just me or does the Forrest Gump soundtrack send shivers down your spine..i hate these cliche's ..anyways...it's 2 in the night..damn the night shift...there are like three people here..one fella hoovering...another reading a screenplay on the net and moi and me muzik! anyways..was listenign to the Forrest Gump sound track..shucks..my entire life flashed by in an insta-second...

Sangeet theatre...ma, dad, moi..moi in a florid tropical shirt (the tropical shirts were to be a permanent  fixture in my hare-brained pre-pubescent days and for several post-pubescent years...hee hee..why do you think my brother refused to acknowledge me in public for several years!). anyways moving away from the lurid topic of my florid shirt...the movie itslef was fantastic...the soundtrack led me to my special tape -pal club with Capn Corny..the heat reistant tape boxes..my initaition to retro music...the whole rock and rock..sixties grooves..mmmm...very nice.

Life really is like a box of choclate. Couple of frames stuck in my head..Forrest (Tom hanks) running.. RUN FORREST (BRACES FALLING OFF) FORREST RUNNING....RUN FORREST (DASHING THRU THE STADIUM)...FORREST ..ERR..not running..but ' underperforming the day he and girl friend get wet in the rain....Gary Sinise and his first haul of shrimp (?)..and the last frame..with the feather flying away..it's  long camera pull-out with the soundtrack just so easily smoothing out of the shot...veryyyyy nice!

aah...am all happy now..shite! need to get back to work!


Current Mood: Happy Indeed!

10 May 2004

One depressing day in the dungeon

Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 5:05am

Oh super!..like when my life begins to look up - all bright and sunny (that i have wear sunblock) - lose my phone, the office net crashes and I can't access rediff! withdrawal has never been so painful! plus the bummer is all my numbers are stored in my phone - so ica nt' call my pals and even make plans and the alternative to beating out a message with a blanket over a pile of burning twigs is to mail them - and going back by how everyone is 'not-so-prompt' with their mails - might as well chuck the idea along with my brains out of the window! whewwww! holy malarky moley ...losing all my marbles!

bing bong - hows it going out there? what books did i get? Granta, something called Villa Incognito( highly random, but the writing is terribly imaginative) and Cinnamon peeler (Micheal Ondaatje) ...which brings me to Ondaatje....have you read his stuff...he's tyhe cutest man... you must get your paws on his stuff..but the thing is that I think his writing is extremely cute in the female sorta way..i'm not quite sure if it'll go down with them men, and testestorone and stuff! but what the heck!

heres the plan for the evbening - Passion of the christ and main hoon na! come hell or high electoral water - i'm getting the shit into the theatre and watching this!

plus have to finish my books.

rumours rife in offcie that I'm quitting! ha ha..I think they're trying to tell me something..maybe it's like a giant cosmic hint - a big flashing neon light being blipped by jesus himself ....a large crumb of bread Hansel and gretel left ...all pointing /poking /shoving me in the right direction!!! maybe I SHOULD TAKE THE HINT! NAD GODAM QUIT! i've just worked out the most delcious plan for myself ...but that involves me and being broke for a year (eeks!)

...but it's okay i guess....better be unemployed legally I guess!

so apart from rifling around for shiny one rupee coins in my office and one room hovel (ohhh! how I love it) ... have been very pre-occupied with some fifty billion things...........but i get real sleepy the minute I start thinking about it! hee hee ...

acha this is getting out of hand..have to go and giggle uncontrollably now.....(I think they sprayed something in the air here....must be the air freshner)

Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: Dominoes Pizza ad Jingle

5 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 9:20pm

hah! Profound observations for the day.
1)9 hours of sleep is over-rated. i am sleepy all the time - when i get 4 hours of sleep or 40 hours -I'm yawning away like an alligator waiting to happen

2) Childhood is for scarring your phyche.I saw a kid yesterday hurl dried dung balls at a small girl walking ahead of him. I was reminded of my childhood. welcome to the Suzie Derkins club 

3)Phones are meant to be stolen. i lost mine yesterday - the second in two years. Now I'm investing in two solid tin cans, one ball of twine, a bundle of dried twigs and a blanket. Non, merci..no more phones for me. I can be cool and incommunicado

4)resoltions are meant to be broken. so much for de-hermiting....have to attend a farewell bash today..looking forward to it...

5)women are happiest when they shop. I stand testimony to that. Blew up an obscene amount on books today - have an orgasmic glow about me.

Current Mood: Bored

4 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 4:15am

Wrote to my alter ego - Cribbyscamp today. Been so boring. yesterday was fun though. Tomorow I think will be  a fun day if all the pieces of the puzzle fit in perfectly.

Just saw this report on air. Prime Minister says.."all these models wear chota chota kapada... "His take on the doing-to-death coverage of that India Fashion Week. So there was this report on what the models and designers thought of his statement.Rina Dhaka goes" his legs keep dangling out of his dhoti..one time even his dhoti opened up. So who on earth is he to make these comments about models in skimpy clothes?"



Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: no song in my head

3 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 3:36am

sunday..bloody sunday! and bloody hell..am at work....! can you belive this crap? me and like three other people - this including the Janitor and the guy who's in to nail the floor boards back in palce-  because it had opened up and threatened to deliver all of us downstairs to the ground floor - where we could be sipping coffee - thank u very much!

anyways, Cribbyscamp has issues..so will stop complaining about how pissy it is to work sundays. plus Moppy has decided to continue with the wayward '5- day- a week - sneaking -away- when- boss- is'nt looking stunt'...i have deicded to bear it all!

came in early...like 5 minutes before ETA..to do some research...did it...and hoping to stay back..like 5 minutes ETD (before expected time of departure)..to complete my research!

suddenly remembered this tid bit of random conversation...was at Physcho Sis's party, and King tut is completely sloshed..like out like a fish..he sidles upto me and says..' why do people hate you so much?"... heyyyyyyBuddy....i know people don't really think i'm the cat's whiskers..but you dont have to shimmer upto me..fully pissed and break it like an egg over my head...! I can deal with it though and I told him very diplomatically (grinning thru it all) " ohhhh....I'm not hated...just people and I don't see things the same way I guess....maybe because i'm not 'one of them'..I don't fit in..so they don't like me''( tres diplomatique considering the verbal diarrohea i AM AFFLICTED WITH when confronted with stupid statements liek that!) Anyways..this is what I wnated to tell him ...." People don't hate me..they hate my guts///they hate me for my superior intellect...my scintillating personality...my ability to lift situations hopelessly bleak and propel then to the shiny new heights of possibilty...of hope....they hate me for my talents with the opposite sex..my exquisite sartorial splendour....my unparalleled ability to hold my own in elite intellectual company...in charming defiance of all established thought..of perception....  they hate me because in me they see all that are'nt and can never aspire to be!!!"

Basically..in plain english... I wanted to tell him that I was the Cats whiskers ..adn that I knew it and thats why people hated me...he heee...  of course..modesty being my very underplayed virtue!

Current Mood: Evil

2 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 4:19am

With a title like that...of course..i'm bound to get a couple of hits..hey! i'm small and sneaky...not STUPID!

Acha considering I'm completely vela right now. here's bit of trivia - it's wasted on Moppy.

How did the name ADIDAS come about? hah bhai hah those jootas type ADIDAS were talking about!!! anyways...it came from this german Cobbler Adolf (Adi) dassler (DAS)..so 1+1 equals ADIDAS...capiche paisan?! random bits of trivia go a long way.

Adolf's brother - fella called Rudi - he came up with PUMA. the other big shoe company. Oh Adolf was just 23 or so when he designed the first spike-shoes for track and field events!  see there u go..ur brain cells have been jolted back tolife with some useless facts - hopefully the next time ur trying to sidle up to some cute chick at some party - she'll be impressed with ur repertoire of completely pokey facts!

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: why must there be music?

2 May 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 3:59am

hah! i'm so sneaky it's not funny! just discovered my arch nemesis's blog!hah! so basically I have acess to Droopy Ass's innermost thoughts! HAH! But she's sucha phycho it's just not worth my while...

Also week-end resolutions..have decied to mop up my act.No more parties. yeah...you heard right - I'm hermit-ing for a bit now..like 6 months. I guess it's time for me to don my ultra-conservative garb and just hang around home and dust and re-dust the lamp shades.


Current Mood: Irreverent

1 May 2004

Mellow me

Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 4:35am

fullhyd put my blog on the homepage - which inspired me to write more crap! hee hee.

I figured i'l; write soemthing really smart alecky..but am in  a much too mellow mood today. it's raining here..it's real nice. Took my biclycle out yesterday after work. was on the night shift - so when i reached home at about 7  - the first thing i did wa drag my bike out - peddled all over. Bliss..i thnk the word i'mlooking for fantalicious!

anyways, wont dribble on and on about how cool it was ...

oh here's something  i like mucho ...

Your love, my love, is as fickle

as a mind in a pickle...

to cut a crop good...

you need a pretty sharp sickle

for treasures are never traded for a dime or a nickle...

to feel the tortourous pangs of love

precious tears must trickle....

only then...can you..my love

give my love....a tickle!



Current Mood: Mooney
Current Music: general office blabber

30 Apr 2004


Posted by Captain Scamp in General | 7:07pm

I dont like that mooney emoticon.

Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: general office blabber
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