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Category: Writing


I think, I know, What I'm doing!!!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 23 November 2008, 2:10pm

Abi: They tell me that perfection is unattainable, so tell me Ms. Perfect, is that true?
Random Chick: That is the sweetest, most full of shit, pick-up line I have ever heard.
Abi: Thanks… umm, Right?
Random Chick: Wrong.
 
That’s how I can sum up pretty much everything that I’ve done pretty much every day since I’ve had days to sum up and stuff to do.

I think, I know, what I’m doing!!

I’m not sure I know what I’m doing. And sometimes I don’t even know what I’m doing. But I’m doing something and I think I usually know what it is.

Right now I’m writing. Nothing makes you feel more like you don’t know what you’re doing than writing does. No matter how many times I do it, using the same old 26 letters, ten numbers, and ten pieces of punctuation as the rest of the English speaking world, just to make a point or tell a story, it always humbles me. But I think I know what I’m doing so I trudge the sludge of my own mind and then hope for the best.

They say perfect practice makes for perfect play, but even half-assed stupid practices will improve your play, if you play and practice enough.

Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this. I promise!!

You see, perfection is, for the most part, impossible and unattainable. Few things can be perfect. A diamond can be flawless but never perfect. An Aamir Khan movie, a Girl-friend, a Lunch or a Dinner, a Formula-one season, they can all be awesome, the best so far, but they can never be perfect. An Aussie test team could have an undefeated season, but none of it is truly perfect or they’d have never let the opposing team score a single run or take a single wicket. A batsman can have a perfect outing but a perfect innings is just a way of saying that he hit a hundred not out to save the game or win it for his side. But a truly perfect inning would involve hitting all the balls he faced for a six. That won’t happen. We strive to be perfect but we never will be. Because, as my friend's Dad used to say, “There’s always somebody bigger, better, meaner and stronger. And if they ain’t around yet, they will be soon.”

And that is kind of a sad fact of life, but only in the respect that our ultimate goals and perfect dreams are out of our range. In another way, it is good that true perfection is unattainable, because the lack of attainable perfection allows us, as people, the right to keep trying to be better at everything that we do, knowing that we can always improve.

We can always be better writers, athletes, drinkers and lovers. We can always strive to amend our talents and abridge our shortcomings. We have that right forever. And in this way, we’ll always be able to surprise ourselves.

After I realized that perfection was unattainable, I thought on and off for about five years, about what that really means when applied to everyday life, and I realized something.

I realized that at no time do I actually know what I’m doing. Because if I truly knew any one thing, I would be better than it. And hell, I don’t even know myself that well. And that’s why I have a new mantra: I think, I know, what I’m doing.

From now on, when people ask me whether I know how to play badminton or Table tennis, Fly an airplane, Write, Drink, Dance or Fool-around , I'll just answer with, “I think I know how”

Because really that’s all we have in life!!!

We have a chance to think and feel things. And sometimes we either feel or think as if we know. But we don’t know that we know, because knowing excludes other possibilities. And excluding possibilities means denying improvement, which is infinitely possible because perfection is unattainable.

At least, that’s what I think I know.

So what does this mangle of confusing sentences I called a post really mean?

“What’s the moral?” you ask.

“Where’s my fucking closure, Abi?” you ask rather rudely.

It’s nowhere to be found.

And that, in my humble opinion, is a part of what makes life awesome. Life’s not ours to dance through with thoughts of ownership, but to revere and experience, to taste and feel, until there’s nothing left.

And then, when there is nothing left, well then maybe we’ll really, actually know something.

But I doubt it.

Here’s to hoping I can think I know that all of you are out there in internet land thinking you know you feel great.

But again, I doubt it!



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Wear the Sunscreen - Baz Luhrmann

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An IM etiquette!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 5 November 2005, 10:03pm

Introduction: You've seen the phenomenon. During the weekends & public holidays at least 75% of your buddy list is online. Then the weekday or summer hits and your buddy list is hit by an apparent bubonic plague. Because IM is so popular among us, it is befitting that we should set forth a list of rules, nay commandments, to abide by. So here, in no particular order, is the prevailing IM Dogma.

- In your Yahoo / MSN profile, there's no need to throw in loads of advertising space about your girlfriend/boyfriend/horse. Granted, I may be a jaded, single fool, but when your profile looks like this:
Baby, I love you. I love you. Oh baby I love you and miss you. See you soon. I love you. Baby, baby.
[Insert rows of nonsensical IM kissy-faces]

It's just annoying and disturbing. A subtle message is fine, but if you use either MUAH or those god-awful IM faces (more on those in a sec), then Yahoo / MSN should spike you and you should not be allowed to create a profile in any of the Messengers for three years!!

- Please stop using LOL. Only about 0.04% of people actually "Laugh out Loud" and they are retarded. And don't give me this ROTFLMAO (Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off). I'd actually like to see you try this just so you can snap your neck as you fall out of your chair. Good. Nothing to LOL about now, is there?

- Don't IM just to say "HI." Talking on Yahoo is the fast food equivalent of actual conversations. Keep the messages short and sweet. I assure you, you are not that interesting of a person. And if you were, why am I talking to you behind a keyboard and miles of bandwidth?

- You don't have to IM someone every time they are online. Nobody is that interesting. The average person spends more time wiping their ass than talking to their parents. No one can be conversational every time you IM them.

- Stop with these oblique away messages like "Not here", "Away", "Gone", or using an Yahoo emoticon. If you had to shit, fine. Tell us, we're concerned for your well being. And for the love of god don't use the default away message: "I am away from my computer right now." Don't you get disappointed when you see that?

- If you are talking on a cell phone with someone and IMing that person simultaneously, you deserve the impending radiation cancer.

- Don't ever send more than 5 messages in a row to someone. All that beeping could give someone a brain hemorrhage. It sounds like a damn Star Wars movie on my computer!

- Stop using Yahoo / MSN faces (emoticons). This is the lowest point of human interaction. It is more evolved to go to your friend's house and throw your own shit at their face.

- If someone sends you a link or a song to download, you are not obligated to ever visit that link or download that song. Making a suggestion is fine, but don't pester them about it for days to come. You are interrupting their porn time.

- Blocking someone is about the cruelest thing you can do to them. Worse than murder. So if someone pisses you off, don't block them. Ignore them. Fill them with doubt as to whether you are still at your computer. Blocking is savagely cruel, use only when necessary.

- One "Bye" is all that is needed to end a convo. Too many convos drag on and on like the first hour of Pearl Harbor. They look a little like this:

Asshole69: Ok man, later.
Buttfuk27: Yea, take it east.
Buttfuk27: easy*
Asshole69: Yeah I will
Asshole69: Later
Buttfuk27: Later, dude
Asshole69: Goodnite
Buttfuk27: Oh hey
Asshole69: Yeah?
Buttfuk27: Did you finish your dinner?
Asshole69: Yeah
Buttfuk27: Oh okay, cool
Asshole69: ok, seeya later
Buttfuk27: Yep, bye
Asshole69: Bye
Buttfuk27: Night
Previous message was not received by Asshole69 because of error: User Asshole69 really left this time.

- Don't try to describe your looks in your screen name. If your screen name is SexyGurl25, and you look like Whoopie (no insult!!), that's false advertising. Besides, it really isn't nice to trick MegaStud21, who is actually a 40-year-old unemployed bald man who installed a webcam in your shower while you were at office.

- Girls, it is not necessary to make your profiles look like the lost works of Emily Dickinson. A couple of clever lines is fine, but honestly, no one's turning to your profile as their daily source of sonnets.

- Don't just type "yea" to your friend when you have nothing to say. I understand the flashing IM is intimidating, and a lot of people need to have the last word, but the "yea" is basically IM code for: "I have lost a lot of interest in this convo, and was kind of hoping we could just drift apart peacefully."

- No more than two numbers in your screen name. Three is okay, but only if it's to signal your birthday. It's already hard to remember what you decided to call yourself online, we really don't need the first 100 digits after the decimal point of PI. If your profile id is: Queef67483857, just shorten it to Queef67. Or just Queef. I can't imagine too many people picking that one, it's too honest.

- Don't type "BRB" then drive off to Afghanistan. BRB has a 10 minute window. After that, it's away message time. Yahoo should install a feature that will automatically send gay porn to all your friends under your name once your comp is idle for 11 minutes after a BRB.

- You can tell the mood a person is in by how much they type. Example:

PeeWee12: Hey, man.
Meat10: Yo, what's up, dude?
= Happy

PeeWee12: Hey, man
Meat10: Hey
= Melancholy

PeeWee12: Hey, man
Meat10: Go f**k yourself.
= Not happy.

- Don't put quizzes in your profile. What is the goal, exactly? To figure out who is your most prolific stalker?

- If someone sends you one of those IM's that say you must IM 10 other people, in order to save a child dying of leukemia in Indonesia, drive to his house and beat him to death with his own keyboard. Then, take a deep breath, and go check your email.

Current Mood: Preachy
Current Music: Vanessa-Mae - Tequila Mockingbird

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Matinee

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 22 April 2005, 8:04pm

Summertime is a wonderful time of year where families all over the world get together to celebrate togetherness like it was Christmas or something. Unless you're in one of those whacky and weird hemispheres like the Northern Hemisphere where all the seasons are reversed and the toilets flush backwards and people get eaten by polar bears on the way home from school. At least, that's what I hear from other people who, like me, have never visited that particular hemisphere because it's really, really far. I mean, it might as well be on Neptune or something, because I hear these days interplanetary travel is more convenient and hassle-free than a trip to the Northern Hemisphere. Anyway, here's what happened:

-If you're a clean, neat and sensible 'family' guy (and I know you're not) you probably think that going to a movie with your family on a weekend is a wholesome and fun-filled thing to do. This is true, provided that the year is 1956 and the family you're going with isn't mine. If you do not fall into one or both of these criteria, the movie-going experience will be a terrible one akin to being locked in a concentration camp with Rowan Atkinson. Whatever happened to that guy? I haven't seen him in anything since "Johnny English", where he played the 'unscrupulous' detective; laughing the ass out of everyone who dared to even walk by the movie halls that played it. Is he dead or something?

-The existence and well-being of crappy comedians aside, I thought I'd warn you that if you have the guts to go to a movie with your aunt (heretofore referred to as "my aunt") and her little kids and (to add to the misery as if this wasn't enough) my own little brother, be prepared to be the only family at the theatre. Families don't go to movies anymore. Now only guys (and girls..of course)on dates go to movies. And the guy, attempting to impress his zit-encrusted girlfriend who's wearing a "Stop Staring at my Chest" or "Site Under Construction" baby doll t-shirt, will laugh and point at you as you walk into the mega-multiplex with your aunt, her kids and brother as if in a tow. If you live in a particularly unrelenting neighborhood (like my native city) then the guy may even throw a few kernels of popcorn at you as you walk by. But my Aunt will be completely oblivious to all of this, because we're GOING TO A MOVIE; GODDAMN IT!! AND WE'RE GONNA ENJOY OURSELVES EVEN IF IT KILLS US. Ah, Summer!

-Many people may have noticed that the cost of purchasing a meal at a movie theatre is often comparable to the cost of constructing a major suspension bridge across Brahmaputra. However, if you are dumb enough to go to a movie with your family, you are probably dumb enough to pay Rs 25/- for a bag of cold, stale popcorn. I bet some theatre executive got paid a lot of money to come up with this brilliant marketing strategy: "Hey, if we charge more money at theatres, we make more money!" We must find this theatre executive (I'm sure he'll have his name embedded in the pack, somewhere)and bludgeon him to death with his own Nobel Prize in Economics..

-After spending your next year's whole salary on food; that even homeless people would think twice about before eating; for the 'little' brother, you will proceed into the theater proper. There, your family, into which you were praying, you were adopted, will insist on sitting in the front row. Now, here's the thing: 10 years ago, the front row was a coveted theatre position. That's because all the seats were directly behind each other, like you were on some kind of bus, and if someone who was over 4'7" sat anywhere in front of you; you would lose approximately 50% of the total viewing area. And back then, let me tell you, viewing areas were a lot smaller. The TV in my den is bigger than what a movie screen was when I was a kid. Boy, those were the days. When things were done right and you could get a glass of nice non-flavored mango juice for a rupee. Never mind.

-Now that I've effectively finished up writing the rather unstructured rant part of the blog, I wanted to tell you that modern theatres no longer cherish the front seats. Modern theatres implement what's known as "stadium seating", which means that the back row is 400 feet up, directly in front of (and often blocking) the projector, while the front row is no more than 3.5 inches from the actual screen. But my brother wanted to sit in the front row, which was cool, because it meant that while the movie was going on I could actually see the characters' individual DNA strands.

-Remember when you were little and you went to the movies and before the movie started you just kind of patiently stare at a blank screen for a half hour like some sort of a monk? Well, the movie industry decided that people were getting bored, so they decided to put something on the screen for you to gaze at before the movie starts. This is, of course, a PowerPoint slideshow for a Honda Accord. Oh boy! That's so much better than a blank screen! Do you know what a PowerPoint slideshow looks like from the front row of a movie theatre? Remember 'Asteroids'?

-Quote of the Moment: A guy comes up to an empty seat beside me, asks "Is this seat taken?". I say "No". He says "Of course it isn't! It's in the front row!" Then he walks off, laughing maniacally, no doubt to go make out with his date. Hey, girls love a guy with a sense of humor. I should know; I read about it in one of the Friday supplements.

-The average movie is two hours long. That's twenty minutes of movie, and an hour forty minutes of previews. There will come a time, mark my words, when people will pay 50 bucks a head, to just sit down and watch previews for the entire two hours, without even having the pretense of a movie to see. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I'm just saying "Be ready"!

-At some point during the movie, your brother is going to have to go to the bathroom. Maybe it's because his bladder's too small. Maybe it's because he just drank 6 liters of watered-down coke. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. Whatever be the reason, you're going to have to get up and miss a good portion of the movie standing outside a bathroom stall looking like a registered sex offender despite the fact that your brother is fifteen years old, because your aunt, who is, in no offense, quite overprotective, will not have it any other way. That's OK, though; You're probably only missing the previews.

-As I left the theatre, family in tow, of course, I realized I was probably being a little immature. I mean, sure, it's embarrassing hanging out with my aunt, her two kids and my little brother on a weekend. And sure, all the tough neighborhood guys with their dates will probably beat me up the next time they see me, but Gosh Darn it, I'm twenty-five odd years old and I can be pardoned for doing something nice with my family every now and then.

And, hey, I know hanging out with your family isn't 'cool' or 'hip to the groove', but neither is writing over 1500 words complaining about it...



Current Mood: Heroic
Current Music: Tales of Brave Ulysses - Cream

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I hope I never had to go thru all of these!!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 26 February 2005, 6:45am

- Awkward Situations..

Do you ever start out whispering to someone, like in the library or in the class or in a movie hall for example, and then realize that there's so much background noise that you have to start doing a "yell-whisper" just so the other person can hear you? And then at some point, one of you decides to "break the whisper" and talk normally. Then you both feel like idiots for having whispered for so long, so you make awkward jokes about why the hell you were whispering.

- College days..

In your college days have you ever gotten an exam or paper back from a professor and it has one grade crossed out or scribbled through and another grade written next to it? What the hell is that?! So then it's like "What the hell happened HERE? Was the other one higher or lower? Hey, is that an "A" under the scribbling?? It better NOT be!!" And what on earth would make a professor write one grade and then suddenly decide to change it?! From now on, I'm going to impose the "once you pick up your pen, you can't take it back" rule. Right after I impose the "A for effort" rule.

- Domestic Issues..

When we changed our apartment recently, we fired the cook who made lunch and dinner for our fraternity because she made shitty food. What we didn't take into consideration is that leaving hunger decision-making to a group of 6 fraternity guys (Yes, we were 8 when WTC happened!!) is not exactly a practical move. Our food budget was promptly spent on a two-week supply of pizzas and Top Ramen Noodles. That's two weeks in real-person eating terms. Placing a mountain of anything remotely tasty in front of a large group of hungry nomads is like asking a pack of rabid wild wolves to share a piece of flesh and put the leftovers back in the refrigerator for tomorrow. It just doesn't happen (unless the wolves were particularly full from an earlier meal and there happened to be a wild refrigerator around).

- Back to Awkward Situations..

Sneezing in public can be a complicated situation. First, there's the question of what to do if somebody sneezes once and nobody says "God bless you". Usually, you either feel like an asshole for expecting someone else to do it, or you just pretend like you didn't hear it or you're not religious or something. If the person sneezes twice, though, somebody has to say it. If there's a third sneeze, someone has to make the "Gosh, are you OK?!" joke. But then, when someone sneezes four times, it's like "What the heck, I'm not going to say fucking bless you again! You've got your sympathy, now shut up!!" Not to mention the fact that quadruple-sneezes are highly dangerous.

- Failed Hookup Quote

I saw this guy dancing all night with a girl he met during our boss' birthday party: While we were about to wind up he says: "I couldn't think of anything better than to take you home with me tonight, nor would I think of anything more." I'm not sure if this is the guy being hopelessly romantic or just hopelessly ambiguous.

- How I wish..

I always hate it when people ask me to borrow a pen. No matter how hard I tell myself to remember to get it back, it never happens. Basically, when someone asks me to borrow a pen now, I comply with "Damn You %^$#()@#*%! That's the fifth time I've been hit today! Could you give us a few moments alone first?"

- Another wish...

I think as long as everyone else is getting a cell phone, my cell phone should also get one too. Those ringers just aren't good enough anymore because the beeping sound is usually muffled by a 4-foot pile of clothes and other junk that I kept accumulating all the way. I actually need to CALL my cell phone and ask it where the hell it's hiding in my room. Of course, I'd have to borrow the phone from someone else; just to call it and ask where it is, so maybe it's pointless. But wouldn't it be funny if you called it one time and got it's voice mail? "Hi, you've reached your cell phone. Please leave a message and I'll call you back on myself. Hahahaha!! You'll never find me!"

Sometimes my friends will say something to me that starts with either "Don't let me forget to..." or "remind me to...". These are absolutely the two most worthless phrases in everyday conversation. If my brain had any additional capacity to remember extra information, it would certainly start with more important things like going to office in time or how much I've to pay to my ever-growing credit card debt, not helping other people with daily tasks.

- Girlfriend Guys...

Everybody knows at least one "girlfriend guy." These are the guys who you could introduce to your friends and just go ahead and introduce their girlfriend too, even if she's not around. These guys will almost always speak in terms of their girlfriend, even when not prompted to. Like this one time I casually made conversation by asking this guy what he was up to and he said, "Well, my girlfriend hasn't called me back yet, so I'm not sure." What the hell are you supposed to say to that?! It's like, "Oh, Well, let her know I called, and maybe we can finish the conversation when she gets back to you" Meanwhile you hope in despair to meet someone who didn't forget to pick up their social skills from their girlfriend's bedroom.

- Names...More Names...

While in your college have you ever met someone from class and become pretty good "campus friends" only to find out that after you are out of college (like 3 months afterwards) that neither of you knows the other person's name? At that point, it's too late for either one of you to ask, so you have to have this special friendship where no sentence requires the use of each other's name. And any time it appears a third party is about to enter the conversation, you have to say "Ok, well, I have to get going man" because heaven forbid the weirdness of your special friendship should be exposed by having to do an introduction.

Speaking of not knowing names, don't you hate it when people you meet at your work will find out which college are you from and then start asking you if you know certain people from your college? They'll get all excited and shit like, "Oooohh, ooohh, do you know [someone you don't know, have probably never seen, and will never care about]?!! Actually, he's a fresher, so you wouldn't know him, but what about [someone who's in your batch, but you obviously still don't know]?!!" I'm like, "No, I've never heard of them, but maybe if you ask me about another one of the 2,500 people at my college I'll get really annoyed and start asking you if you know this one guy in my college who's name I still can't figure out."



Current Mood: Itching For One
Current Music: Im still alive!

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A Phrase Im Tired Of Already

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 22 February 2005, 8:21pm

I hope you're all set and ready for another trip down 'Memory Lane', geographically located two blocks down the 'Know Your Role' Lane. Did you get it? That's what the WWF Superstar "The Rock" used to say before they got royally sued by the World Wildlife Federation and had to change their name to the WWE and totally sold out.

It's funny because it references the past!

The past...

-Back then, I used the word "ironic" all the time, even when it was clearly the wrong word to use. I'd say shit like, "Ironically, I was late today." And, "Ironically, I like butterscotch." Now I never use the word, because I don't really understand it and I'm pretty sure every usage is incorrect. It's all because of that goddamn song! Whenever life goes sour, I blame Alanis [Alanis Morissette].

-Back then, my favorite singer of all time was George Michael. Then someone told me that he was a gay, so now I'm not allowed to like him or HIS SONGS, because let's face it, I'm all man. I don't like the fact that homosexuals can just co-opt a song or a movie or any artwork and make it gay in the process. Where does it stop?

-Back then, I couldn't fathom how someone could become a stalker. Did they just wake up one morning and buy a telescope and a lawn chair so they could be more comfortable sitting in the shrubbery outside someone's bathroom window? Also, is there even one stalker story that ended well? Like, "I watched her sleep every night for three months, and now we're married!" Has that ever happened? Okay, that didn't really have anything to do with "back then..." but I really needed to let that out.

-Back then, I was really good at video games. I could play Mario without falling into the bottomless chasm of infinity OR accidentally touching a Goomba. No longer. If I try to play a video game now, the little man I'm controlling kills himself within three seconds of the start of the game. If he cannot find a molten lava pit to jump into, sometimes my little man brings along some virtual cyanide capsules just to be sure that I never get farther in any video game than the part that asks you to enter your name (I call myself "Alwayz Great").

-Back then, I used to actually BUY things. Like if a CD came out from a band I liked, I would go to the store and pay actual money I stole out of somewhere in exchange for music, rather than just getting it for free on the Internet. Or if there was a movie coming out on video, I would go all the way over to the shop and pay them for the privilege of watching the movie instead of just sitting at my computer and downloading it and then, 876 hours later, watching some German woman have sex with a Donkey in a grainy AVI file mistakenly labeled "The Incredibles." All that seems so silly now.

-Back then, my friends and I could keep each other entertained for hours just by spitting or hitting each other. Now we have Satellite TV, three video game cube systems (all of which I suck at), cars, and an almost unlimited supply of money, and still the number one phrase all of us always use is: "I'm bored, what do you want to do now?" Also, I can no longer answer anybody by spitting (or hitting) at them without getting my ass kicked.

-Back then, I was told by parents, teachers, and obese social workers that I should stay away from drugs and alcohol because if I didn't my life would spiral into a pit of round spirals and I would never make it anywhere in my career. Now where I'm, and the only lesson I've retained is that grown-ups are dirty liars.

-Back then, I hated cartoon network. All of the characters spoke too slowly and had really odd-shaped lips. Some things never change...



Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Back in the Day - Erykah Badu

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I realize every year...Im not perfect!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 4 February 2005, 10:16pm

God, I tell you, it was hard, really really hard, to type that with a straight face. Still, every year I devote my energies to being a better son, writer, brother, friend, driver, neighbor and so on... And 2005 will be no different. So, without further ado (and mostly because I hate writing introductory paragraphs..I wonder why people read 'em) I'll get into my resolutions for 2005.

...Sounds like a whisper...

*I will stop listening to the 'new breed' techno Indi pop songs. Seriously though, can we stop them before they release another album? That "Mere Piya Gaye Rangoon..." song is without a doubt, the single worst song I've ever heard. I quit...I've had it.

*I'm going to put an over-sized dent in the forehead of people who continue to tell me what a brilliant movie "Oceans Twelve" is. It's bloody not. I watched it. It sucked.

*I will stop making that face when people tell me; they want to do an MBA. You know the face. The same face you make when someone tells you they dropped out of high school.

*I will never play Super Selector ever again. For those who didn't know, one of my friends won it this time around. A girl. You should have seen the other guys there... You'd think we had just been through a terrorist attack. I'm not even joking. I'm questioning my faith in God even as we speak.

*I will adopt a dog, name it George Bush, and show him my 'prick' neighbour's house and whisper into his ears.. "Iraq; Iraq"... and hope in despair that symbolism might take its own course!

*I will stop referring to F1 as "Michael and some other assholes."

*I will support the campaign for Sonia Gandhi next time too, and hope Adolph Hitler comes back from the buried and runs against her, just so that I don't feel like there is lack of competition.

*I will stop running up to the American people around and scream: "Look! Here comes another tsunami! Flee Flee..."

*I will stop making pathetic jokes in the absolute worse taste. Even though I bet you laughed at the previous one.

*I will try to get in touch with my feminine side (and then feel its boobs..)

*I will start getting my blogs in - on time.

*I will tell gross lies about the punctuality of my blogs...

*I will...

...Will you?

Happy New Year, to everybody. And many more, or something.

Until my next bout of incorrigible madness and profound boredom, have a nice day.



Current Mood: Heroic
Current Music: Dont you know they are talking bout my resolutions...it sounds like a whisper...

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I write. But writing..

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 14 October 2004, 4:08am

Sometimes I feel I write too much. I can write forever. To me the mystery is why sometimes I don't write or I can't. Not a mystery, a question: why not write?
Writing waits for you. Writing spies on you.
I learned a second language, a second way to make mistakes, a second way to write more. So, Why stop? Writing knows it.
I just know a few words, but I keep combining them all the ways I can.
I, for example, know and use a lot the word I. And the word "ways".
Writing is also a word I use a lot. A lot too I use. :-)
Writing keeps.
Writing asks.
Writing is a remnant of something else. Maybe a first tongue, a second body, a third state.
Writing remembers well or forgets beneath.
Writing is either untrue or endless. It can be use for fiction or for lies. Writing writes.
Writing is not a door. Writing is represented by letters.
Writing descends in clouds of quotes. Writing has an East.
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Guess what..I just discovered whats wrong with the system!! - lazy pricks

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 13 August 2004, 7:01am

These days I drive my Esteem from home to work (and back)everyday, and there is a process as to how I do this. When get into the parking lot I make sure that I always park at the right end. You know why? Because thats where the entrances for the escalators are. Unsurprisingly everytime I get in at 11'O clock in the morning (early by my standards), I find that the right end of the parking lot is absolutely full..So I roam around and reach the next parking floor to see that the right end is full again..all this with the left side completely empty.

After my routine round trips across all the three parking floors; I end up parking at the left end, cursing the whole world for their laziness, and walk across to the escalator at the other end. I can recall a few days when they would find the escalator not moving, and at this there would be a collective sigh. Some punk kid prevented their and my lazy asses from riding the escalator. I guess we'll all have to just take the stairs.

I remember being taken aback, reading some stories written by a writer by the name of Kurt Vonnegut Jr. His stories were satirical, funny, had some attitude, and they all spoke very loudly about his opinion about advancement and discovery. Underneath these clever stories would be a foreboding tone that all this advancement, technology, and discovery, is the apocalypse of man kind.

I couldn't agree more. I along with several other people who I simply see everyday are living proof of this. People wonder why the obesity rate has risen, so much so that they call it an epidemic, but what do they expect when our society discovers all these new things to cradle us so that we don't have to put as much effort into it? So it makes it easier.

Our society has become so goddamn lazy and dependent on these new "advancements" that it has come to us mooching off the handicapped. What do I mean? I see this constantly at a nearby shopping center. There are several sections of the path that are cut off and separated by doors. There is nothing obscure about these doors you push and pull them to open them, however to the far right of every one of these entrances is a big silver button, with blue illustration of a stick figure in a wheel chair. 98% of the people I see pass through these entrances and when the door shows any signs of closing, they press the button again so that it quickly opens again, and they carry their stuff through, no fuss, no muss.

Remember when you were able to throw garbage out? Remember how easy that used to be? You just throw it out and that's all you have to do. Not anymore. If you have the fortune of eating at a newly opened food court one of these days, at the end of your meal start prioritizing. Separate your regular garbage, then cans, then glass, then paper, and then you're all set. Otherwise you will end up bringing all this stuff mixed up to not one, not two, not three, but four different garbage cans, with big signs on them. And then you have to do this all while you're there because you wouldn't dare throw all that out in the regular garbage bin with all those people looking.....well at least throwing out trash has us put some effort into it, that gets us moving. Taking out the trash takes some effort now.

What about snail mail? Remember the joy of writing a letter? You'd fold it up three separate ways, sock it in an envelope, and plunk a stamp on there. You would leave your domain and walk to a mail box, drop it in and leave with a smile on your face anticipating it's arrival wherever it may be going. Now we have e-mail. Unbelievably convenient, but if you ask me the invention that was discovered to bring the world together is simply keeping the world apart. You would think the populace would take advantage of such a device to keep in touch with one another but instead since it is so convenient and at your disposal, some people find themselves saying....."oh I can just as easily send this to him tomorrow." Or don't you love the people who don't even want to go through the effort of writing you an e-mail, they simply send you a forward of some lame joke, or self healing jargon to let you know that they still think of you, or you inexplicably are somehow still on their mailing list. It's not bringing the world together. How do I know? I'm sitting here right now talking to no one, so that I can type this for you to read.

And of course the one discovery, advancement, that should be completely outlawed in my opinion is the cell phone. I do own a cell phone, but I hope I never had one, because frankly I'm reachable enough as it is, and I don't want to be out and about and have someone calling me, "sorry I'm on my time." Cell phones not only have contributed to rudeness among person to person interaction, (e.g. you're out with someone having a conversation, their phone rings and they say "excuse me," answer it and start chatting away) they also have made you think twice about wondering if someone is insane or not. Whenever you see someone talking to themselves now you don't assume they are crazy, you look for the little ear piece first. One thing cell phones have done so horridly well is make people impatient. They can't wait to get home and have a conversation, they have to have it right then and there on the bus, for 5-10 minutes your let in on details of a persons life that you really don't care to know, but people will always feel free to expose you to it.

Now, I am not martyr, I am guilty of not wanting to walk certain places, and taking easy cliques that I am surrounded by, it's inevitable, our society is grounded on it.

But in all sincerity, and if that sort of money ever came to me I'd definitely buy a farm-house, and enjoy my stay over there; and instead of flipping a switch for a fire place to be activated, I would rather go outside, chop some wood, and bring it in to heat my wood stove.



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Current Music: Welcome To The Machine - Pink Floyd

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