Menu:


Recent Entries


Categories

Personal [27]
Writing [8]
Hyderabad! [2]
Movies [1]
General [3]
Philosophy [5]
Friends [3]
Technology [1]
Love [1]


Links

General
- fullhyd.com!
- Guru Speaks!


Syndicate

RSS 0.90
RSS 1.0
RSS 2.0
Atom 0.3

Category: Love


A little Comedy for the Broken-Hearted!

Stand-Alone Dreamer | 20 February 2005, 5:23am

I guess it's a funny thing, really it is. Everyting that I hear,read and watch about Valentine's Day is either from the most cynical perspective or about a gross dissapproval about the whole concept. The only things I've ever read or seen about this holiday (thru all the news and the media in this country) is how shitty it is, and how it makes single people feel like crap, and how Hallmark invented it and so on. Why do you think it is like that? Why is it that the day of meant for celebrating love recieves the most hatred (and criticism) among all of our 'days' including those "dust-bin invention days".

I have a theory on this, much like those I've, on every concievable thing known to mankind, no matter how little I know about it! People in a relationship generally don't write about Valentine's Day; they're too busy having sex. That pretty much leaves a bitter me, to write this heavily depressing prose on the subject of 'St. Valentine'. This  post realy isn't any different. So, if you're tired of reading about how much Valentine's Day bites, just turn off your computer RIGHT NOW and go back to eating your favorite ice-cream or get back in front of the 'magic box' and search fervently for another gossip(oops! I should have said 'chat') show.

If you are still with me....here's what happens:-

-Nobody wants to be alone on Valentine's Day. Of course, that statement implies that there are other days of the year where people would prefer to be alone, and I'm at a loss as to which days those might be. Martyrs Day, maybe?
 
-No, nobody wants to be alone no matter what day it is, and Valentine's Day is no exception. The only difference is, February 14th is the only day of the year when you're reminded of just how alone you really are, and how you're actually a pretty big loser and you never knew your best friend. It's probably best not to dwell on these feelings of resentment and woe, though, since that's exactly the type of thinking that leads to being lonely.

-February 14th has attached itself to the fascinating statistic that more people get married AND commit suicide on that day than any other. I think that's sad. Because whether he gets hitched or offs himself, that person will probably never speak to me again. And I'm pretty sure he owes me money.

-Quote of the Moment: I'm walking through Lifestyles 'alone', and as I stroll past the Valentine's flowers and card aisles and I hear someone saying: "I hate how this holiday has gotten so shallow and commercial." I fully agree. Things were so much better when those valentine toys I used to get would actually MEAN something. ("Toys-Kemp Wishes You a Happy Valentine's Day. Batteries Sold Separately.")

-Some people celebrate Valentine's Day. Not me, though. I celebrate "You're All Idiots" Day. That's the day after Valentine's Day, when all the cards and flowers are on 60% off-sale (I can hear me bitching..it sounds nice, at times).

-You ever see those guys in bars and restaurants who go around from table to table or person to person selling flowers? What the hell is up with this? It's always some wilted rose that they guilt you into spending 50 bucks on to impress the girl you've taken out on a date so she doesn't go home with somebody else. Who the hell are you worried she's going to go home with? The flower seller? Honestly Guys: Just say "no" to those wilted flowers from panhandlers in bars. Go buy a pair of new jeans or something.

-Every year, around this time, the newspapers are filled with articles like "The 10 most romantic songs of all time." But they never really go back in time far enough to count them as "all time", in my humble opinion. I've never seen a song on these lists that predates to the 70s. I'm sure in the times of ancient Babylonia, Mr. Judas had some pretty sexy and romantic beats. And what about sonnets? I think a good sonnet is pretty romantic, or at least it probably was in the year 1471; long before Celine's grandfather met her grandmother!!

-I think guys take Valentine's Day seriously only because girls do. And girls take it WAY too seriously. Ask any girl who's in a relationship what her plans for the big day are, and she'll invariably answer something like "We're going to dinner at 'The Overpriced Mexican' and then we're taking a long walk on the beach. Now try getting any guy to admit he actually wants to spend a fortune on dinner (plus 50 bucks on the flower guy) and then walk around until his sneakers are full of sand and dead prawns instead of staying home in his underpants and watching ESPN-STAR. But every guy in the world will go along with his girlfriend's neurotic whims, because he knows in the back of his mind that if he does, there's an eighty-twenty chance that they'll get home and she'll agree to watch SportsLine in HER underpants.

-Off-Topic: Did you know mattresses come in model years? Like cars? I had no idea till I saw it juss now!. It seems like everything comes in model years these days, although I can't honestly say I've ever been over to somebody's house and been ushered into a bedroom where they point to the bed and say "See this? 'Curl-on Felxi Proof'. 2004, baby!" Maybe someday buying a new bed will be exactly like buying a new car. ("Alright, now for the 2003 model I'm willing to give you half the sticker price plus my old bed. But I'll have to take it for a test sleep first. We'll talk in the morning.")Hmmm...Interesting!

-I seriously think there should be a day of the year where singles around the world celebrate the joys of being a proud single. You know, just to keep things even. I just don't think it's fair that couples get a day and singles don't. I'd wake up in the morning, make myself a breakfast in bed, then I'd give myself the card and flowers I had bought for me. I'd take myself out to a nice dinner, buy a flower from the same flower guy, and then walk by myself along the beach on the way home. Then I'd watch SportsLine in my underpants and cry myself to sleep. I'm not sure what the ideal day for this would be, though. Maybe Martyrs Day?



Current Mood: Grand
Current Music: Hmm..Im thinking!

Posted in Love | Permalink | Comments (7) | Trackbacks (0)



 1 

Stand-Alone Dreamer's blog is proudly powered by fullhyd.com, the largest portal for Hyderabad, India.
Design by LifeType and Andreas Viklund.