museman

who is going to be our next president?

A woman.

Who is she?

Who cares, but if you insist, let me tell you her name, Pratiba Patil.

What makes her the best candidate?

She is a woman ofcourse.

What does she do?

What do you mean what does she do? She is  a SHE dammit and by the way, she is the governor of rajastan right now.

I came back home to see a new face on television. She is our 'almost new president', every news channel was screaming.But after going through what our newschannels reported about BOb Woolmers death or about our new cricket coach, i hardly believe what i hear.

I have been vaguely following the presidential elections right from the time Abdul Kalams name was thought of for a second term to the time some twenty four hour news channels kept themselves busy suggesting and discussing Amitabh Bachhans name.Things couldn't have been triviliased furthur  i thought. Pranab Mukherjee, Vajpayee, Shivraj Patil, Bhairov Singh Shekavat came and went. And then,  Sonia Gandhi, who is fast turning out to be a taut script writer comes out with a master stroke. She plays, "lets have a woman president". Or maybe  it was the Left who first started the game.

I fall in to familiar territory here. Taking an anti woman stance again, amounting to being branded as a typical male or better still, an MCP. Let me state my case neverthless.

I have no problem with a woman becoming the president of India. Infact i would welcome that. But that must be out of merit. If we picked up the best  candidate for the post and she happens to be a woman by any chance, lets go with it and have our first lady president.

But it sounds crass to start searching for a woman president and then zero in on someone just because she is a woman. And Pratiba patil,our 'almost president of India' tells to media, "I am greatful to madam Sonia and the UPA". Doesn't go well with the image of the president. The president should command utmost respect of the nation. He, sorry...she should not be condescending towards any political party or to any person. Majority of the people outside Rajastan might not be recognising our new president. I am sure the MTV youth would be least bothered about the whole issue anyway.

Besides, the president is like the match referee, he must command utmost respect but hardly has any job to do.

If she is becoming the president because she is the best suited person in the country for the post then god bless her. Instead, if she is becoming the president just because she is a woman, god save our country.

Tailpiece: i somehow doubt that she is the presidential candidate just because she is a woman. In that case, i have a better candidate in mind. Smriti Irani. She is jobless anyway and just in case she is too young for the post, we  can easily and gracefully age-brush her up in two episodes flat. Four segments will be very happy.
1.Saas-Bahu followers, they will have their icon as the president.
2.newschannels. They will have a glamorous president.
3&4. UPA and Left. They will have a woman president!!

Rohit and Preethi. Came in their lives the beautiful ugly time that every love stuck pair have to experience. Parting. The fangs of fate, upon them, they were sitting in the park, for the one last time, of course, last time for an year at least. Rohit was going to < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />America for his masters. Preethi was going to Mumbai, to start working for an Indian MNC. Yeah, you read it right; after all, we only have Indian MNCs in India! Their favorite love spot was now the venue for their separation.

< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Preethi: So, Rohit duhling, go...go to America...earn dollars letch at the white chicks and...

Rohit: And?

Preethi: Forget me.

Rohit: Why do you talk like that Preethi? Especially on this day? Why will I forget you?

Preethi :( with a ping of angst in her voice) Ahahaha....you are a letch and a flirt Rohit.. I      know that....didn

Why isn't museman blogging these days? Where is museman these days? What has happened to museman? Museman writes so well, i miss his articles. When will he write again? Somebody tell him to post something.....

Naah...these are not the rumblings of the nation. With due intelligence and common sense, i would have to admit that apart from me, hardly anybody would have noticed that i haven't blogged for some time now. infact, a majority, well, let me say, 99% of the people who have read the first paragraph would have exclaimed, who is museman?

NBut then again, what is life without a little bit of self-indulgence and narcissm. Thankyou for allowing me to indulge myself. And let us carry on. Why hasn't museman blogged of late? Quite a simple and pathetic answer. Sheer laziness. The muse though, has been there. I had been willing to write a lot. But never got down to writing. Say for instance, thre are some half written fiction pieces and havent-started-writing non-fiction pieces.

Although, one piece, 'What kind of a writer am i?' is one piece i have half-written many a times in the last two weeks. And each of those efforts has been a revelation for me. Although the original intention was to write a lenghty, boring thesis kind of a piece on the topic, i have resolved to just finish it off with some random, short pointwise observations.
1) I seem to write about mundane things of life
2) I seem to write about personal anecdotes, although there seems to be a strict line ( of how personal i get with my blogs )    which i never seem to cross.
3) I seem to write only about the bourgeious ( acceptable enough, i have no idea how a rich psyche works )
4) I seem to like political satires.
5) I seem to like about the marginalised sections of the societies. No, no i am not mentioning about homosexuals/gays/lesbians ( although, i believe mentioning the second and third variants through obliques was a redentant exercise). Infact, they seem to be the cream of the society right now, its hip to be gay you know, and yes, i am not talking about happy-gay kinda thing. When i say, the marginalised strata... i meant, let me quote examples, lefties, nocturnal creatures, nightmare dreamers,man-fridays in motels and all.
6) I seem to love writing ficiton pieces which are nothing but dialogues between two pieces.
7) I seem to love it when people comment on my blog, to the extent that i sometimes am condescending towards the commentors.
8) Although rarely, i can be brutally honest, as i was with my 6th point,as a benchmark, i seem to write with a lot of restraint.
9) Just to reiterate my 8th point, i write with a lot of restraint.
10)I seem to love travelling and writing about places i have visited.
11) I  have a very very very bad habit of leaving stories unfinished. The 'Have Fun' series is a classic example.
12) I seem to have no taste for naming my blogs appropriately. Ask the fullhyd editor. He/She has changed the title of my blo g everytime it has been featured on hotblog. And yes, i love it when my blog is the hotblog.
13) I seem to write because, i seem to like what i write. I seem to get a lot of happiness when i revist the archives of my blog.
14) Just because i am putting in an unnecessary 14th point, don't assume that i am superstitious. I am not!

THE fourteen points enumerated, although i am sure there could just have been 13 points, never mind, let me continue.
It could have be a trifle little irritating to see so many 'seem's in the points. But just to put forth that Psychoanalysis is my latest fixation. I was just wondering that it is possible that whatever i thought about myself is all bullshit according to my own innerself and some psychoanalysist might actually tell me why i am what i am.Having written all this crap, let me finish now, I promise i will come back with a normal piece next time. Whenever it is. By the way, two beautiful and articulate blogs you might like to read-

aaaalu.blogspot.com
esotericpandora.blogspot.com

Will add more blogs to the list in the near future.

By the way, this article in its entireity was written in notepad. Thus bringing to light, my expertise with the english spelling.

Tailpiece: What if 'What kind of a writer am i' is a short answer question?  Ans:  An irregular writer.

I have embarked upon the biggest challenge of my life. A war which I have waged many a times only to return vanquished. The challenge to get up early in the morning. I have tried this one many a times. Always failed. Let

My life has taken a revolutionary turn in the last one year. I never thought I would be so fortunate as to get to know Amitabh Bachans family personally. . Now, I know them so closely, I can tell you where they are, at any point of the day. I can tell you the the name of the next endorsement Amitabh is going to take up. Sauna Slim belt or some variant of it. Back support or something you can call it. I think I also know the personal priest of Amitabh personally.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Sarcasm apart, what has gone wrong with our news channels? Why is it that I hate to watch news channels now? And I am sure I am not the only one. I was a normal kid. I never watched news. Then came adolescence and came star plus. So, it was from 9 to 10 that me and my father used to juggle between Star news and regional news. Then came Star News and 24 hour news channels. They were ok in the starting. But now, I guess they are far more unethical than our politicians. With time, I am sure, news channels will make it to the top 5 list of 'We Hate'.

I guess we are willingly being fed bullshit in the name of news. Who cares if Amitabh and his family went to < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Benares for a prayer. The news channels played it live, all through the night. And guess what, I did watch it once in a while. Compulsion it was. Every news channel was playing it.  I had no other choice. On Jan 1st, Mallika was on stage in Mumbai or Delhi, I don't remember, and the the whole nation danced away to the TV footage. Some poor hapless lecturer slaps (allegedly) a student and she finds her place on national television.

Almost everyone has a special program on crime reportage now. From local news channels to the national ones. Please watch these programs, you will find the most colorful anchors for these programs. 'Crime Watch' anyone?

There is only a subtle difference between the original and the Pastiche. Say, Rang De Basanti was a good movie. Girls in some city staging a dharna against cell phones being banned in college is pathetic. National channels, making thirty minutes news about it, apart from being appalling, has also sadly become the norm of the day.

I honestly don't know why I don't like it when these news channels air

news based on the Mannu sharma case. I guess Ram Jetmalani put my thoughts aptly in words when he spoke to IBN 7, with the chip of a girl, as he so rightly puts it,  But I don

I ended my last post on a dramatic note. It sounded as if a thief had stolen my cycle and returned it back to its rightful owner after careful afterthought. Things though, were far more dramatic than this. It wasn't a thief who stole my cycle. It was infact, a constable!!

No, let

The Baraka of a bicycle. < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

The first question which needs to be answered is what exactly is baraka. Wikipedia will lead us to a movie by the same name. Although I haven't seen the movie, I do know about it. Baraka, we are told, means 'blessing' in many languages. Majority of the links will lead us to an American by the same name.  A little lesser know meaning though, summarizes a rather complex phenomenon. Say, this meaning of the word comes closest to the subject matter at hand- 'a spiritual power believed to be possessed by certain persons, objects, tombs, etc.

Love to Hate Haters!< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Quite a paradoxical heading it was!! Like activists protesting on the streets over animal sacrifice coming home to the aroma of boneless chicken!

So, what is my take on it? Not that my take matters much but still.   my first reaction was that of shock, not that such a community exists but that it was hogging the limelight and was being featured prime time on  news channels!!

Thankfully though, the issue has died a slow death and nobody seems to be talking about it anymore.

I am not going to take a moral stand here. Whether it is morally right to form such a group or not, is an issue that I wouldn

Before we could proceed any further, I am tempted to ask, can we question the pope? As in, can we state that the pope went wrong this time? Or is it like....the popes word is gospel? I am of the opinion that even gospels can be questioned. Having said that let me continue with the post.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

 As you might have guessed by now, my piece discusses the statement made by pope in a university in < ?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Germany. Thankfully, the issue hasn't got too much of mileage in the media and to be frank neither should I have been discussing it in my article. But it gave me just the appropriate reason to talk about what

I agree it wasn

The long pending seminal piece on left handers. Their troubles, tribulations and triumphs- I do fear that it is going to be a self indulgent piece. Let me continue nevertheless. < ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

I go against nature to a certain extent. I am a left-hander that is. I am an antithesis to all established norms in the world. My earliest memory of being left-handed is that of sitting before the TV, just back from school for lunch break, eating my lunch and my mother asks me,

Yes, I know. I understand. There is every reason why you should be angry with me. I left you at a very inappropriate moment last time. But.... what to do...I was in a state of shock then and have been quite busy then on. Be a little considerate to the narrator.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Where did we stop last time...eh? Oh yeah, Harini..ok...Priya, she was laughing. Like a hyenah. She laughed and laughed. I don't blame her .The way I reacted to her holding my hand.. I did cut a funny figure. I was in a rage. I looked all around for a crew to drop down any moment. With a bakra cap in hand. They didn't turn up which made me all the more angry. There was no explanation left.Rational or otherwise. I got up to leave. She held my hand again. And with a straight face, she said, "I am sorry". And then, she started to laugh again.

Look, if it was a joke, it was in bad taste.

I said I am sorry. Really. Sorry. Just that, I couldn't let the moment go.

What moment are you talking about?

Your face, when I asked, temple or registration office? Gawd, were you shocked.

Go to hell.

Listen Pawan, there aint a better hell than earth. We are all in hell. Ask me to go somewhere else.

Philosophy and you...don't go well. Why did you do that?

Sorry. Lets make friends. Now that I know you better, I won't play those practical pranks on you anymore. Promise.

How do you assume you know me. You don't even know my name.

Haha. Weak memory. I know your name silly. Pawan?

Ok. But don't play those kind of pranks anymore.

Alright. No more pranks, I will just stick to puzzles and sudoku. Lets play sudoku. I have three sudoku puzzles. Easy or tuff?

What's Sudoku?

God! You are so uncool. You don't know sudoku?

Its you who is uncool. You don't talk normal, do you?

Ok. Lets skip sudoku too. We will venture into questions. Tell me, how do you make out a blind man in a nude beach?

What?

That was a question. Answer it. How do you make out a blind man in a nude beach?

I don't know.

Come on pawan, be a sport. Try...you can answer it.

I don't know.

It is not hard.

Doesn't matter if it is not hard but I can't answer it. Talk normal or leave me alone. Please..

That was the answer Pawan.

What was the answer?

'It is not hard'. You spoilt the joke. :-( Never mind, it wasn

Let me put it real short. Today is left handers day!! Needless to say, museman is a proud left hander. Will write a seminal piece soon, talking about the troubles,turbulations and triumphs of being a lefty.

Tailpiece: Here's wishing self and all the lefties of the world a happy left handers day. The rest, tuff luck buddies.

Where do you want to go today?  Microsoft used to ask us once.  As if they had the power and technology to take us anywhere! I do agree they have revolutionized the way we conduct our day to day affairs. If not for them, and their fraternity, we would still be blissfully receiving snail mails from near and dears. They were not called Snail mails in those days. They used to take one weeks time to reach destination. No wonder they are called snail mails now!< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Let

They say, a lot can happen over a cup of coffee.  Yes, a lot did happen over a cup of coffee. I split with my girl friend, well, over a cup of coffee. And here I sit, on the pavement, overlooking the coffee shop. For fourteen nights now.< ?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

There is no fancy explanation for why I split with her. It was quite simple, she never liked me in the first place. I was some kind of a backup, while she sized up some other guy she was interested in. And as their relationship came through, ours was dwindling away. The pretext for breakup? Aaagghh....this is interesting. I was apparently ogling a girl, two chairs away, while sipping Irish coffee. The fact that Irish coffee was the cheapest one in the menu didn