theFlyingLeaf

when i dance to the music
thinking only of you, you the music
so fine yet so strangely undefined

when i walk down the lone dark streets
kicking the odd beer can,
smelling the falling of brown leaves, thinking of you

the distant night lamp flickering
in the invisible breeze as i
when your music blows at me

the moonlight shines on the silver dew
they, like a million stars spread on earth
waiting for your step,longing and thinking of you

 

Current Mood: Feeling Better

let the oceans cough out their life
the fishes and all
in black phlegm
let the forests burn the skin of the animals
the humans and all
in black soot
let the skies turn into red smoke
the clouds and all
in black sun
death to this world... death.

a death without rebirth
a death that sounds across the multiverses
raging through warp zones
and worm holes and dank assholes...
echoing for generations
the shrill cries pungent
and distant
ever present whether dark matter
or white
with the multiple big-bangs adding to its music

red hot yellow bright
white steam bitter helium
scarlet chorme icy fumes
blue air black might
dull brown mild ambience
dark fluid wavy felt
breathing slow loud starlets
shatter explode liquid radiance
sprawled galaxies twisted random
dance  a billion sway in tandem

move into dissension then
every atom its own god
its own death
move into dissonance then
unrelenting, all alone
prevailing death
move into disagreement then
a rebel with no cause
killing and death
death to this world... death.

divergent tolerant death
bring death to this world

Current Mood: Screwed
Current Music: Rolling stones - Paint it black

     For days i sat by the tree. beneath it. speculating, crying, laughing out aloud. humming, singing. yea, singing. no food save for the odd apple or a bunch of grapes. and the river water.

    the paint had gone dry, dry as an impotent ass' nuts. the white sheet lay flapping in the wind. getting browner by the hour.
a loose strand of my long hair sat on the paper for a moment, as if filling its lungs before embarking on a long j'ney, and flew off eastward...
    the whole consciouness of mine baking hard in the hot shadows started cracking. too random at first but the cracks grew more frequent, monotonic, larger and deeper... so deep that the beauty oozed out red and blue. staining the paper darker still but redder. splendidly colourful and orgasmically fragrant. a beauty beyond comparison.. and the cracks went beyond still. the hard whiteness broke its way out.. reaching the warmer sun.. whiteness and yellowness.. madness, madness all around. yet beautiful.

exquisite

Current Mood: Sloshed
Current Music: Oohala pallaki lo...

if i ever would want to meet a woman now, then it is amrita shergil. she amazes me more than she surprises me... if only i had a classmate like her...

Current Mood: Cheerful
Current Music: devadhai pol oru penningu vandhadu tambi.. unnai nambi... - Gopura Vasalile

        "For me my mom is my god.i have learnt everything from my mom.Firstly i am thankful to my mom for giving me the best of everything.she has taught me what is right & what is wrong,she has given me best of cultural knowledge.she has taught me how to be a good person.She has taught me how to be strong and independent,that is why i am here in this wicked world.She has shown me god within her.
I Love My Mom the most.she is my best friend. "

    wrote a girl once on being asked "what did ur mom teach u?"

    on reading it, replied a delighted boy ...Hai, ur excellent i am very appreciate with ur golden words.
I want to make a friendship with u

my c.no. 9247394845 call me bye, have a nice day.

Thanks "

     that too with a thanks... mindboggling. O the mighty intelligence! where have you gone?? bah ..humbug!
     wudnt i like it better with a richer dad and a richer mom??
     am still dreaming.. "America, the land of opportunities. God bless America" - Flavors.

and one more

       "My mother taught by example not by lecture. She is quite old and taught me the old fashioned word 'character'.....if money is lost nothing is lost, if character is lost everything is lost. I think its true. She said it doesnt take long to learn something bad, but to cultivate a good habit takes time.... "

 wudnt it be nice if all these ppl (almost evrybody) who call money evil loose (give) their money for the better cause of me spending it on yummy vodka, beef, women and books?
 
  Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.
 New car, caviar, four star daydream,
 Think Ill buy me a football team.
                                  - Money, pink floyd.

 after livin in chennai for 11 yrs and madurai for like 4 yrs, i am convinced that i am the greatest idiot on this planet (include amar!)... u know y?

 1. i dont like my parents as much as you do + as much as anybody else does.
 2. i am a beef eating bram and pork...
 3. nothin can be better that theertham of wine and woman
 4. india sucks
 5. rock rocks!!!
 
  and finally
 
 6. i ..eh, plant seeds and make the world a better place to live in. for myself.

 

Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: Symphony of destruction - megadeth

        I was browsing and came to this article titled 'believe in pre-marital sex?'

        I frankly dont know what he means by 'believing' in somthing like sex.. i was and am dumbfounded. Absolutly...

        But, here are some of the user comments i thought you guys might be interested in..

         "As per my knowledge it is not required to go for pre-marital sex. It is absoulutly wrong and sin. Goverment has to strictly ban"

 Ignorance is a bliss... coz knowledge -> no fun

        " am amazed to see so many people having so much spare time to actually indulge in such crap issues. get to work, go back to what you are supposed to do instead of venting your usual religious insanities, and your culture mongering statements, and your stupid remarks. there is word called personal choice, but i guess, we all like to lecture on idiotic issues instead of doing something worthwhile. this is indeed a sad potrayal of how much time we waste in a day pursuing something so useless!!! kudos for showing the rest of the world how bleak our future is, as we prefer to waste our present in such useless debates. "

 abbo! beware.. look whos trying too hard not to indulge..

         " beleive in premarital sex,bcoz this enhances one outlook to the world.But the sex sud be protected and sud be between the partners- male with female and female with male.This sud be treated as food and not for enjoyment.This improves your health and mind"

 No comments. Apart from the good thing that he is in for it.. u ppl understand his sense of worldly outlook?? Food and enjoiment? u rock man! This is poetry...

        "even dogs do the same , please act like a being with conscience and mind , and keep your family members in the scence and post messages , then reply "

 dogs marry? o yea i know they do.. i hav been to many..

        "Whether American or Indian, we are human being, very much different from animals. The rule of nature as a matter of principle is that sex should follow only after marriage. Those who want to enjoy life without guilt and really enjoy sex should have it with one partner and yes only after marriage. If by chance have had premarital sex with a person, should marry that person by all means. Anyone defying this rule of nature is considered as a bastard or a bitch. Sorry for using such hard words but this is reality!"

 Sigh.. how many times i wish i were an animal... i know i am a bastard

        " am staying in France.
If we encouraged the pre-martial sex then this type of sex will destroy our India culture system and the social values. I saw this type of pre-martial sex in the foreign countries before the marriage. After living together for nearly two to three years then only they will get married, some time before the marriage they will break the relationship. If the persons follow the pre-martial sex in India, these are things will continue in India in near future. "

 well this guy says stay with your fat, screw-worthless, snobbish wife... i ll keep that in mind for future.. i can see reality ahead

         "Pre-MaritalSex is compared to adhesive tape. The women who has sex with first person the maximum bonding, with the second person the bonding comes down like a sticker remove it once and stick again. Subsequently when you have sex with different person the bonding comes down dramatically and in the end there is no bonding at all with person you have sex,like the tape finally doesnt stick at all so the person even if married will not have intimacy with the partner."

 what an imagination!! he thinks that men dont have the glue to loose. women! come and stick to men as long as ur glue stays.. lucky men!

        "It is disgusting. U hv it and loose the bliss of married life. the married couple having premarital sex just can go on cheating each other and the social value gets lost. if this termed modern or advancement then it is to desisted at the very first instance"
  
 this guy finds bliss in marriage (i mean post-marital sex) and what is marriage? LO! married couple having pre-marital sex again and again? I repent i dint go to IIT... else i would have been smarter than this guy

       "Marriage means not only a union of two bodies but also a union of two souls. This is a spiritual endeavour. The basis of spiritual progress is love. A man is an ideal man in proportion to the deep and pure love in his heart. The practical experience of this spiritual grandeur of love learnt in childhood is possible only in the laboratory of married life.. blah blah blah....

 wait, still reading...
 
           "Everthing that is against the law and is not acceptable to society and elders in general is bad and one should not indulge into it. A culture is formed over a long period of time and one should try to preserve it. Those who have created the custom and the law were not fools. Doing anything only for pleasure is a sin. So wait until you get married. Share your love with your soulmate only."

 Doing anything for pleasure is sin? Ugh! i am a sinner.. i hate myself. guess, i should preserve my shit for long time till i hand the urn over to my next generations topped with their shit.

          "Pre-marital sex is not at all encourageable, coz, it spoils the mind and culture. it destroys all the goals and ambitions of the yought, which they had put to achieve. also it may lead to continuous sexual relations, inturn leads to severe health problems"

 i remember reading sex equals a five mile walk... no wonder every middle aged indian has a huge middle..

         "pm-sex leads to social badness. social badness leads to material worldly pleasures. worldly pleasure lead to bad soul. bad soul no heaven, only hell. i warn the wrath of the God on such sins. sinner will have no moksha. all money, girls, will lead out cunntry to ashes."

 *scratching my head* login mamu.. logic, assalu arthanchesi chavadu. and country without an O! Oh no!

       phew... i guess this is enuff for a single post.. i am tired, and i cant afford to get tired further. seriously there's a lot more i wud LOVE to post..but, someone would be waiting for me somewhere, where my getting tired is much worthier...

 signing off thinking of INDIA 2020... a dream indeed

 

 

Current Mood: Religious
Current Music: Get in the ring - GnR + office a/cs whirr + my buzzing mind

God is one of the worst inventions of man. And the most useful.

Current Mood: Destructive
Current Music: Black Sabbath

     Melancholy. Melody. Unshed tears. Both happy and the numb. Music. Shaking my leg. Dull, cloudy, cool.

     I remember once reading about flowers wilting and drooping while listening to sad music. May be thats true.

     Its one of those days when you feel like a dung beetle and you know that you are an insignificant beetle wading through deep shit.
 
 
 

Current Mood: Heartbroken
Current Music: Vannakonda vennilavae

from my terrace on a saturday night

 As the saturday sun sank behind the dark blue line of the horizon, as the stars opened their single eyes to the dull world below, as the grey clouds became greyer still and as the night lamps started burning the remaining oil, I walked up to the skies... alone. A pleasent breeze laden with the smells of a thousand cooking oils kindled the digestive juices inside, which were frozen dry for all day long. I walked the length of the building casually looking at the evenly strewn apartment houses. Five floors in all and a million windows. Dark pigeon holes through which an innumerable variety of things join the evening breeze, some carried further and further. Pollenation, pollution.

       Tangled mess of someone's oiled long hair - brown, grey, black, yellow, blue, pink polythene covers. An odd spit or two, a flash of fluorescent light glinting on a dirty mirror, fluttering shirts, pants, towels, innerwear. So varied that you almost get everything on them, the dry clothes. Little mountains, giant flowers, pink tigers, chubby blue bears, dark holes and yellow stains. A light went on on a distant window. A young couple getting ready excitedly. A scooter stuttered down below. A bald head, another full of jasmine flowers. Green movie tickets dancing the hands of a boy standing in the front portion of the scooter.
        And I moved further along the building, gazing at the sprawling city of Hyderabad. Tall, thin chimneys and fat, squat pylons trying to stitch the fabric of blue space above to the brown-green skin below. A brilliant vein of the NH9 crept slowly bulging with light from the night traffic like some giant transparent hollow boa that had gulped all the light from the city behind. My cellphone rings. A friend of mine. I din't take it, let the harsh ringtone eat into my palms. And the vibrations stopped as suddenly as they started. Everything seemed more silent. A woman in her brown night overalls peeped out of her balcony. I felt the call was more for her than for me. She popped her head up at me. I stood still. I was watching her. She kept her gaze on me for a while, adjusted her dress near her neck and went inside with a huge arc of her broad hip. My eyes scanned the balcony door for nothing. But they were on it. Yellow haze spewed out the door, sound of a running tap, the pale white flicker from the next window.
        I moved away. The mosquitoes following me dutifully. The west bound train track lay over there somewhere, invisible. I started humming an old telugu flick gradually moving into its tamil version at the next stanza. By now, all the colours had merged into one, but a myriad shades of that one colour. Clouds turned a surprising pink. Had been walking all this while, legs started aching, still I sang.

            "Are emiti lokam, palugaakula lokam
             mamatannadi votti pichchi
             masannadi maro pichchi..."

 and someone played yonder,

            "kaavadi koyyenoi
             kundalu mannenoi
             kanugontae satyamintaenoyi
             e vintaenoyi..."

 

Current Mood: Gloomy
Current Music: R D Burman Hits

Okay, here's one helluva poem (o really?) i wrote some time back...

Order is boring.
Order is static.
Sticky
Symmetry sucks
Chaos! Damn it!
Algorithmic!
Algorithmic!
Poor creativity
Second-hander
Third world stupid bloke!

Current Mood: Holy
Current Music: Holier than thou - metallica

I have a doubt... those religious ppl who were the reason behind banning the da Vinci Code movie were agruing that the movie was againt their religious sentiments. but then aren't religions and their ever grandiloquent public displays of their supposdly affection and faith towards gods against the beliefs and sentiments of the atheists?? Atheism is also an ism and why isn't it being given the same place and respect as other isms?  

Current Mood: Evil
Current Music: Symphony of Destruction - Megadeth!!

On a rainyday with my muse

splashing the water
with my foot
sweet mistress in her
bright red saree
following my foot
move about the light water
skipping pebbles of water
jumping around
like her laughter
fresh, wet jasmine scent
coating everything it touched
and the untouched
basking in heady urges.
the chair i was sitting on
dirty wooden colour,
old and pressed.
My white dhoti spotted with
sporadic wetness
crumpled like her fragrant
tresses
only not supporting the water
beads that roll along the curves
into my thirsty lips-
like an innocent cup that was waiting
for the elixir ever long
and the moment the drop touched the cup, it burst into innumerable ions
spewing ecstacy all over its body
coating with golden fluid the sky and the core.
Her bangled hand wrapped around
the pillar
stuck to it
her gaze down and lusty
black marbles moving restlessly
as if trying to burst out, break free
and run into unknown corners where
irresistable treasures to behold and hold
lay awaiting
thick framed glasses have become cloudy
drops trailing wet alleys
some standing, patient, tolerant, shivering
and some long gone, forgotten, not a trace

shadows move about
reflections on water
sound of the shadows
are all i can see.
temporary blindness, forced.
touch, smell, sound, taste
mixing into one sense of a dream
an illusion, deliriously real,
dangerously true
hearts thud louder than the patter
silence, the objects mute
blind, deaf...
if only a mirror could show what all it sees.

  - theNeverKing, Hyderabad

 

Current Mood: Bad Hair Day
Current Music: November Rain - GnR

"Happiness is more about bad memory!"

and I cant remember the last time I was happy!

 "waterfall,
  hairfall,
  water dripping."

    wrote that long back... and it still makes me happy reading tht. Dont dreams make me happier than reality? Many-a-times I had felt that.

    That day, when I was traveling on a bus sitting next to my, then supposedly girl friend, holding her hand wanting it to be seen by others, but at the same time trying to gain the pleasure of making it a secret gesture... i sure was on the seventh heaven. A perfect idyll, not in the strictest of all senses I would say, but nevertheless a close hit. With a light drizzle outside and still 4 hrs of journey to go I actually thought these exact words

    "I am the happiest person in the world. A girlfriend, a student at a very good college, the exams over... what else does a man want?"

    But after nearly five years down the line, I knew I had been wrong many times. Utterly wrong. Times when me and a friend of mine would  go to the college grounds 11 at night.. and I used to dream then, sitting right under the naked canopy of stars, gazing at them, giggling shamelessly, almost unself-consciously, dreaming... And I knew I was "Happy". I was not wrong.

 I met him online a few days back after a real long gap running into months. He then asked me

 He: Can I ask you a question?
  I: That's a wierd request
 He: Wierd in the sense?
  I: Ofcourse you can ask...
 He: Do you still gaze at the stars like we did?

    (a smile crept its way on to my lips) and I replied
        "Yes, I do. But only lonelier and longer..."

    And that's when I knew someone can make new definitions for what happiness is and what it means to you. A warmth that it creates inside you whispering that you had been right once.

    And I still dream. Newer dreams and ofcourse memories.

Current Mood: Happy Indeed!
Current Music: Janies got a gun - Aerosmith

Well, here I am! An utterly bored individual sitting all alone in his cubicle scratching his head trying to think through the music blaring through his headphones, about when to have his food (atleast an hour away) and whether he should write this blog entry or not.

Gotup pretty late, office at 11, lunch at 1, play till 4, music at 5, the stupid net till 7 and this dumber blog. *humph*

A day at office.. was tht f***y? Pathetic

Current Mood: Constipated
Current Music: McKannas Gold - Old Turkey Buzzard

The first glimpse of the wet sun glinting on the leaf's palm.

An explosion of green, bright and yellow!

A the palm stretching and cupping the liquid light,

Spilling, running down, a drop drips... a wet dumb smile.

 

Current Mood: Dumb
Current Music: Blind Guardian (Surprisingly!)