Category: Humor


The Voyage Of A Blogger...

Humor | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Comments (2)   
How it all started...

An infinite past with no beginning - God in a good (or bad) mood.

Time Zero - - Creation.

Big Bang Theory.
Hour One - Primordial Era.
One Million Years - Stelliferous Era.
150 Million Years - Structure formation.
One Billion Years - Reionization.
Three Billion Years - Formation of stars and galaxies.
Eight Billion Years - Formation of milky way.
10 billion years - Formation of Earth.

Then...
13 Billion Years - Genesis.

Single cell prokaryotes.
Fish.
Amphibians.
Animals.
Neandrathals.
Early Man.

Then...
200,000 years ago - Homo Sapiens.

Development of the Brain.
Fire.
Civilization.
Self-Reflection.
War.

Then...
500 Years ago - Age of Discovery

Renaissance.
Galileo & Scientific Revolution.
Newton & Gravity.
Da Vinci & Art.

50-200 years ago - Imperialist Expansionism

Imperialism.
Arms Race.
Industrial Revolution.
Education.
Globalization.

25-50 Years Ago

Television.
Computer.
Internet.
World Wide Web.
Pacman.

In the recent past - ME

December 1997 - Blogging
1999 - fullhyd.com
April 2008 - mayhem.fullhydblogs.com

December 2010 - My 100th post!!!!

Yes. I do have a few facts in my screwed up head, thankyouverymuch.

Nice. But boring. Thats not what I want to argue about.

What I'm concerned and curious about is...

How come I still don't have a girlfriend?


Observations

Politics World XLNC Humor Cricket Hyderabad Idiot Box India | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Comments (1)   

Hyderabad is going to the dogs!

No, not because of all the events which have taken place in the city over the last six months or so... I'm not talking about Hyderabad the city at all... I'm talking about the IPL team Deccan Chargers...sheesh what a screwed up team!!

Who cares about front page news when IPL and sports take centre stage!!

Women of India can rejoice!!

No, no... not because of the women's bill and it being passed in the Rajya Sabha... But because Direct-to-Home television channels have discount prices as it is summer time... so you get to see Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and Balika Vadhu at much lower costs...

I mean what else to say... 33% of the government could become feminine by the passing of one bill - yet most women prefer to sit at home and watch soap operas?

Two is a marriage, three is a crowd!

Sania Mirza might disappoint people on the court, but never outside it! Be it her advertisements or her engagement or her marriage, everything is controversially crazy! Now Shoaib Malik and his alleged first wife Ayesha enter the picture... amazing piece of time pass for the Indian Public and media... (in fact fullhyd.com itself is hyping a personal issue by asking people to answer silly opinion polls - I hope no hard feelings fullhyd).

Vision 2020 or Mission 20-20 ??

If Abdul Kalam and Lalit Modi have a chat... this is how it is going to be...

LM - see India 20-20 - up and running! Live on Set MAX!!
AK - when I meant India and 2020, I wasn't talking of cricket...
LM - seriously? I didn't know, anyways we are already making $4 billion a year, its a CITI moment of success... what say? and hey Mr.Kalam look out thats a DLF maximum...
AK - @^#@^ #^!@$ #%^^ *$*&
LM - Ahem! Ladies and Gentlemen, its time for a Strategic Time Out!!

And with all this news who cares if 75 odd CRPF men were killed by maoists or that the UN embassy in Peshawar was bombed... may that be news for a different time!!

P.S. - This article isn't actually meant to be a sarcastic take on the Indian Media, its what the entire nation has actually become...

P.P.S - And similar to my last two sets of observations (in April and December '09) I'm still single and desperate!!



Of Breed And Species!!

General XLNC Humor | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Comments (6)   

Yesterday, was purely a malfunction of my imagination.

So I must imagine better tomorrow. And tomorrow, even if I fail again, I must fail better.

Here I place another checkpoint in my blogging skills. I must write posts which encourage comments, and I recollect and reiterate all what I said in one of my earlier blogposts. And I stand corrected - I should be treating my commentators cordially, and also encourage critics cause they make my blogs better.

But yeah I stand by what I said about comments and the 4 reasons why people comment –

·         To advise the blogger
·         For materialistic gains like more comments on his/her blog
·         Blog Hoppers who come to the site randomly
·         Just for fun, to show that they have read your blog and have the intelligence to understand your blog!

But that was all what I wrote in my earlier post, what I have learnt now is that there are 3 reasons why people blog –

·         For materialistic gains like comments which gives them happiness
·         Because they love to write arbit crap (like me)
·         To advise other people, on what to do or not to do, as they feel they have the power to influence others!

Through all of this i have realized that my blogsposts aren’t getting enough comments recently so I pledge/promise to write blogposts which would encourage people to leave comments upon and subsequently encourage me to write better!!

For lessons on how to get more comments go here or here...



Observations

XLNC Humor Hyderabad Idiot Box | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Comments (5)   
OBSERVATION 1

Our City has the worsht traffic on Indian roads.

And by worsht I mean worsht. It took me an hour and a half to get from Ameerpet to Mehdipatnam, and that doesn't seal my point. Vehicles, esp. two wheelers are such a nuisance to the pedestrians and other larger vehicles, they zoom past you from everywehere. And they feel they are COOL, ahem!, by showing off all these neat tricks they do on bikes. Such a bore!!

OBSERVATION 2

Radio is anyday better than Television and Newspapers

NO! Not the movie by Himesh, but the actual transistor radio. I have become a fan of a couple of stations on air and are way better than the boring and banal television channels and newspapers of today's times.

The only cons being the way too many ads between songs and the sometimes lame jokes by the RJs.

OBSERVATION 3

Hyderabad gets another feather in its cap.

No! KCR coming back into town doesn't count. I meant the new Paradise restaurant on this side of the city. The Hyderabad part of the city. :) Now Secunderabad suckers can go rot, cause their only feather just got cloned to this city!!

So now the only reason I would want to go to that city is for the hot chicks on their side. Well, they too would shift to this side pretty soon I hope!!

P.S. - And as with my last set of Observations... I AM STILL SINGLE AND DESPERATE!!

Signing Off


The Cutting Edge?

XLNC Humor | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Comments (4)   

I hate barbers.

No, not cause they get paid for putting a knife at our throats. Well that is one of the reasons, but most importantly they ruin my hair. I have had bad hair days and worse hair days! But the days which are THE WORSHT (no its not a typo) are the days when I go to the barbers'.

They charge a million and make my hair look like a porcupine. And it isn't even funny even though I posted it in humor. I have been to like a thousand barbers in, around and outside of our city, yet each one of them has ruined it.

So I have come up with a plan - cut my hair too short or make sure the barbers cut my hair in a way that it doesn't even look like I had a hair cut - as Aamir Khan puts it in Andaz Apna Apna - "baal bhi kate hai aur pata bhi nahin chala"  (Hair has been cut and we didn't even know!). That makes my mum angry though, she says I am in that way handing out money for free. But I care more about my hair than how much I've spent on it (personal grooming!).

Anyways moving back to barbers - I abhor them. Movies like Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street haven't made things easy. I love my hair and yes they - the barbers - mechanically cut my hair without thinking of the person over whom the hair grows!! No, its not that I'm against barbers and would hold rallies to get rid of them from the world. Its something personal between them and me.

Its been four months since I've got my hair trimmed, so I post this with great trepidation. I hope I meet some nice barbers who charge reasonably to cut my hair and set it in nice condition. I hope I get some nice suggestions!

P.S. - By charging resonably I don't mean prices which would empty my pockets of pocket money in a day. I'd prefer getting my hair cut like in the 40's style under a tree than in an Air Conditioned Saloon.

P.P.S. - Just Kidding about the under the tree barbers! 



Aditya's blog is proudly powered by fullhyd.com, the largest portal for Hyderabad, India.
Design by LifeType and N Design Studio.