Category: Idiot Box


Observations

Politics World XLNC Humor Cricket Hyderabad Idiot Box India | By Aditya | 2010 Trackbacks (0) Comments (1)   

Hyderabad is going to the dogs!

No, not because of all the events which have taken place in the city over the last six months or so... I'm not talking about Hyderabad the city at all... I'm talking about the IPL team Deccan Chargers...sheesh what a screwed up team!!

Who cares about front page news when IPL and sports take centre stage!!

Women of India can rejoice!!

No, no... not because of the women's bill and it being passed in the Rajya Sabha... But because Direct-to-Home television channels have discount prices as it is summer time... so you get to see Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and Balika Vadhu at much lower costs...

I mean what else to say... 33% of the government could become feminine by the passing of one bill - yet most women prefer to sit at home and watch soap operas?

Two is a marriage, three is a crowd!

Sania Mirza might disappoint people on the court, but never outside it! Be it her advertisements or her engagement or her marriage, everything is controversially crazy! Now Shoaib Malik and his alleged first wife Ayesha enter the picture... amazing piece of time pass for the Indian Public and media... (in fact fullhyd.com itself is hyping a personal issue by asking people to answer silly opinion polls - I hope no hard feelings fullhyd).

Vision 2020 or Mission 20-20 ??

If Abdul Kalam and Lalit Modi have a chat... this is how it is going to be...

LM - see India 20-20 - up and running! Live on Set MAX!!
AK - when I meant India and 2020, I wasn't talking of cricket...
LM - seriously? I didn't know, anyways we are already making $4 billion a year, its a CITI moment of success... what say? and hey Mr.Kalam look out thats a DLF maximum...
AK - @^#@^ #^!@$ #%^^ *$*&
LM - Ahem! Ladies and Gentlemen, its time for a Strategic Time Out!!

And with all this news who cares if 75 odd CRPF men were killed by maoists or that the UN embassy in Peshawar was bombed... may that be news for a different time!!

P.S. - This article isn't actually meant to be a sarcastic take on the Indian Media, its what the entire nation has actually become...

P.P.S - And similar to my last two sets of observations (in April and December '09) I'm still single and desperate!!



Observations

XLNC Humor Hyderabad Idiot Box | By Aditya | 2009 Trackbacks (0) Comments (5)   
OBSERVATION 1

Our City has the worsht traffic on Indian roads.

And by worsht I mean worsht. It took me an hour and a half to get from Ameerpet to Mehdipatnam, and that doesn't seal my point. Vehicles, esp. two wheelers are such a nuisance to the pedestrians and other larger vehicles, they zoom past you from everywehere. And they feel they are COOL, ahem!, by showing off all these neat tricks they do on bikes. Such a bore!!

OBSERVATION 2

Radio is anyday better than Television and Newspapers

NO! Not the movie by Himesh, but the actual transistor radio. I have become a fan of a couple of stations on air and are way better than the boring and banal television channels and newspapers of today's times.

The only cons being the way too many ads between songs and the sometimes lame jokes by the RJs.

OBSERVATION 3

Hyderabad gets another feather in its cap.

No! KCR coming back into town doesn't count. I meant the new Paradise restaurant on this side of the city. The Hyderabad part of the city. :) Now Secunderabad suckers can go rot, cause their only feather just got cloned to this city!!

So now the only reason I would want to go to that city is for the hot chicks on their side. Well, they too would shift to this side pretty soon I hope!!

P.S. - And as with my last set of Observations... I AM STILL SINGLE AND DESPERATE!!

Signing Off


Don't Watch It!!

Humor Idiot Box | By Aditya | 2008 Trackbacks (0) Add comment   

Its crazy how the NEWS could be so irrelevant and absolutely unnecessary. How could an interview about a movie be National Headlines, or how could a blog by an actor about his new film be Ground Breaking News??

I was channel surfing the other day, and I saw the 'TOP STORIES' on HEADLINES TODAY, it was that Harmaan Baweja doesn't want to be compared to Hrithik Roshan!! 'BREAKING NEWS' on India TV was that Barrack Obama has a pendant of a Hindu deity. Then the worst... an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW of Rakhee Sawant. Aaaaaaaaaaargh!! I hate her and to give her air-time during the headlines slot is murder!

What the hell happened to regional, national and international news that didn't involve celebrities? Are we to believe that only celebrities create news? One channel shows Kareena's love saga with Saif while another gives in depth coverage about Salman's new game show. Throw them all out the window and show some real news.

The worst thing about these so called 'News' channels is that there's nothing goddamned new about them anyway. The same story is recycled over and over and over again, and then again! The same old graphics, tele - correspondents, live correspondents, and studio anchors over and over till your brain is ingrained with their dressing sense. How many times have we seen a studio anchor speak on the telephone to some correspondent in and not have them hear him/her? Theres always this blank dumbass look that the correspondent has when he hasn't heard the studio anchor. The look doesn't go away either, as he/she drags on an on about who did . Who cares? Get the real news from the people that really matter!

Who are the people that really matter, you ask? If I knew that, then hell, I would be owner of my own show, now wouldn't I? But I do know, that I don't care if Aamir calls Shahrukh a dog, RGV hails Amitabh as the greatest actor on the planet or if Anil Kapoor gifts a fat-free, sugar-less cake to his daughter!! (Yes people, that was actually on the news).

HEADLINES TODAY really takes the cake. There was a news item last week involving a lot of screen graphics, media 'footage' and demographics (surveys of the populace's opinion) on, wait for it, the SIMILARITY between Shah Rukh Khan and Ronaldinho!!!!!!!!! How can you compare a Bollywood superstar to a football superstar???? Here are the similarities in a nutshell, so you don't have to watch the inevitable retelecast of the same shit.

1. Both are human.

Thats it! There isn't anything else. But noooooo! The dumbass reporter (and I use this term loosely here) actually came forward to say that while SRK was the king of Bollywood, Ronaldinho was the king of Football. You don't say??!!! I would never have known that if you hadn't told me. Now I can get on with my miserable, pointless existence knowing fully well the similarities between an actor and a sportstar. TOTAL  BULLSHIT!

Stop throwing useless statistics and fancy computer graphics in an overcrowded screen. Take a cue from DD. Remember the old news show, where they had ONE studio anchor and one inset picture of a lady miming out the news for the benefit of the deaf? Am I supposed to think that somehow the number of deaf people watching TV has drastically decreased in the last ten years? Man, I wish I were deaf so I didn't have to listen to their senseless drivel. Wait a minute, I wish THEY were dumb so they couldn't spout their venom on screen.

Newsbytes are the latest things now. Little bits of irrelevant information that have no bearing on the outcome of anything important, are continously scrolled at the bottom of the screen so as to be highly efficient and useful to the legions of couch potatoes who don't have anything else to watch. Stick to the newspaper, I say. Atleast you can do the sudoku or the crossword in it.



Observations

Politics Humor Hyderabad Idiot Box | By Aditya | 2008 Trackbacks (0) Add comment   

OBSERVATION 1 

Inflation is at an all time high..

Proof?

Subbiah's samosas cost Rs 0.50 more from what they were previously...

What can an average Hyderabadi do if essential commodities become dearer?

And for all those who say try out McDonald's veggie McGrill, well its like that queen (whose name i forgot) who asked her subjects to eat cake when they demanded bread.

OBSERVATION 2 

A good news channel is one that reports all the news.
A better news channel is one that reports all the news correctly.
The best news channel is one that reports correct news without bias.

A sad news channel is at times also called "HEADLINES TODAY".

OBSERVATION 3 

Mine is one of the most visited blogs on fullhyderabad.com
My posts are among the highest read on this site.
My posts are not being commented.

Explanation -

My posts are so superiorly impressive that you are lost for words.
My posts contain highly advanced topics that you never understood what they were meant for.
You have no money to buy a keyboard for your computer!!

If none of the above - then leave some comments!

P.S. - Just remembered the Queen was Marie Antoinette.

Signing Off



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