aloque | 16/11/2004, 19:52 hrs

I left on a jet plane today. Well, thats only to be romantic. It was actually a Deccan airways pissant excuse for an airplane. I don't even know why I bothered with the romanticism in the beginning. Force of habit, maybe or maybe to lure someone in to read my dilapidated page. Naah..force of habit for sure. I mean, if this page isn't about my attempts at stringing together all my wishful thoughts, its nothing.


Back to ranting then.


"Simplifly" or thats what the slogan is for Deccan. It is fast being changed to "Simpliwait". The amount of time spent in the Deccan air wiating rooms is infinitely more than the flight time. Why would there be more snack bars and magazine stands around the Deccan terminal than the others? So, after waiting for nearly two hours after check-in, I finally boarded. This airline just survives because of the Indian fascination for the low rates it offers. Quality-wise there is so much left to fulifil. Cheap rates also mean that one has to pay for food on these flights. DON'T EVER, repeat...EVER, BOARD ONE OF THESE PLANES WITHOUT HAVING A MEAL. Coz if you get hungry, and you are anything like me (hungry = will eat the first thing that is remotely edible, or has pretensions thereof) you will end up buying something to eat. And after you eat, if you are anything like me (hunger satisfied = brain resumes normal function) you will realise that the measly veg roll cost you forty bucks. No matter how I thought about it, the nett worth of preparing, packing and serving 4 slices of cucumber and half a slice of cheese in a piece of bread did not add up to forty bucks. Then I realised the beauty of it...the simple genius in the way that Deccan airways makes its money. Let me explain


1. Announce tickets for 500 bucks if you buy well in advance


2. Since Indians cannot resist a bargain, they buy tickets for themselves and their expected children


3. Most of Deccan's flights are booked until May 2005


4. Delay every flight by 2 hours


5. Make people wait in the lounge with highly overpriced snack-bars in clear sight....enough to make anyone hungry as hell.


6. Get them into the flight and wait till the pilot confirms that the flight is cruising at 22,000 feet and that there are no snack-bars for the next 750 kms.....


7. Get out the forty buck veg rolls




Well, as you can see, I have had plenty of time to think about this issue. And I suggest that the next time you board a Deccan flight, take a loaf of bread, a couple of slices of cheese and a cucumber. You can sell "veg rolls" at 20 bucks each.


They can't throw you off the plane, can they???




Current Mood: Dismissive
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  1. Lol. And all is well with Aloque-world. :D

  2. Very A-l-o-q-u-e and another 'e' or maybe a 'y' I think, really good n funny stuff.
    'Simplifly' my ass!

  3. hee!!! i coulda toldja about the eat a meal bit...if id known when you were goin :p

  4. so people still come here...(goggling)

  5. 500 bucks??? jeez thats 10$..to good to be true..looks like airlines are following the American model..southwest does the same stuff...but hey 500 bucks is dirt cheap..

  6. i need your contact info

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