Time is slipping by like the proverbial sand through the fingers. I have a vague idea why, it goes like this - maybe I should I get my butt off that beach, stop picking up sand and watch it slippin through my fingers. THATS what I should stop doing. In my case, the beach is my couch (well not so much a couch as a sofa(what the fuck is the difference(this bracket has been added so as to end with odd number of parenthesises(nice word innit?)))). See I can't count even. :|
What should I be doing? Acquiring infinite amounts of knowledge, grabbing gyaan from all corners of my world, all the while. So that I may be the intellectual I never was. What have I been doing? Pretense. Everything but acquiring gyaan. Been busy doing a myriad of things which won't help me a bit. Time does fly when you are doing nothing. I haven't been bloggin' as well, you know why? 'Coz, as a blogger, I have matured. I have been through the daily posting times, I've been through the hit-whoring phase, I've been through the heart-pouring-out sessions with notepad, I've been through the total-lack-of-time-to-blog phase. I've reached a point where I can look at my blog and not be irked that there's no new post, not develop a constant itch that my blog is lying waste without any hits..:D Well, the hits bit is bein taken care of in style by all of you invisible visitors. :)
As is usual habit when I don't post for a while...the above 2 paras were typed 2 weeks back. Strangely, at the time I wrote this, I had no idea that I would be on a beach, picking up sand...feeling the waves caress my feet...taking snapshots of a moment which I'd love to cherish for a lifetime. Irritating all n sundry by the incessant click-clicking. Maybe I should use my mind, my brain's vast empty vacousness, like I used to. To store the infinite beauty of nature in that moment in my mind...not on my bloody harddisk. Photography..ah. A new found joy..:D I shall duly show off some of me pics soon on dis blog. Alright..I have completely missed ze point! Where was I this past week? @Chennai ppls! or Madras as I prefer to call it. @Saarang again. Different circumstances, different company...but double the entertainment...or maybe not.
As I sat in the train gazing out the window to see that full moon, the moonlight reflecting off the river's shimmering surface...I reminisced about the week gone by. This was not about Saarang at all, this was about friends, this was about being with friends so special in a place so detached from real life that I'd want to stay there forever, and then a day. But then real life is real, so here I am back in Hyd posting on my very sad-arse deserted blog. To cut a long story short - Saarang rocked. Why? Not because of the event, not even because of Chennai. Because of the company, because of you. Only you.
This was not a post to remember, this was not a post to look back. I'm typin this right here and right now only because I want my thoughts to flow in some sort of coherence. That sand-effect is getting to me, time is flashing past not as much as through fingers but more like a huge hourglass - with me sinking in the sand. Alright, enough of d stupid analogies. A startling realisation hit me today. The last time I'd really learnt something new was two years ago. Thats a lot of time. I need to do more. Right now. Dammit. Mind. Blank.
The words have been drained from these fingers,fingers that want to compose masterpieces.Thoughts that plead to break out,words that refuse to form. Confusion - an ephemeral form that lingers. Is this the writer's block? or is this simply the reality of my mind,a mind screaming for the synapses to fire. Geez.
Blank.
Payne
PS : Mad-Scientist's T-shirt : "The world sucks. I'm just here to blow it up." - Payne, Jan 23rd, 2005.
Floating vision.
- January 25th,2005.
On a beach somewhere on East Coast Road, Pondicherry.
Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: Evanescence - You
3 Feb 2005, 8:02pm
"Because of the company, because of you. Only you."...
HMPH KYA BOLEY MAMA..and for the "slightly datty" chappals..looking at the beach...they rock...although me thinks the right chappal got distracted...:p
3 Feb 2005, 9:58pm
hmmm ...do not set standards for everything in life ..keep it simple ..how can u generalise everythin ..u havent learnt anythin new ???!!!! yeah ...sure ...those iim calls came because of all the stuff you learnt in kindergarten ..
:-|
...dont sulk ...jus do your thing ..u were doin that ..it brought you here ...so jus ..do your thing ...>:d
4 Feb 2005, 12:01am
uh.
*yaaawn*
haan. where was i?
ya! uh.
well aint *we* the philosophising ppls? see unkal. it's good to kno yer in a hole. but it's better to start diggin yerself out of it without much ado. to reiterate - without much ado.
dig_away.
syko.
PS: no. u learnt how to get over lost_digital_cameras :-"
PPS: nice pitcher :D
4 Feb 2005, 2:39am
Ok, nice pitcher too. And the other stuff syko said too.
4 Feb 2005, 4:05am
just dropped in to say hi
4 Feb 2005, 8:19am
glad u had fun.....or did u?
ppl realizing too many things these days...2 yrs eh :-o
5 Feb 2005, 12:58pm
hehehehe...
SO TALENTED YOU ARE
huggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggsssssssssssss.
HOPE YOU ASPHYXIATE AND DIE!!
seriously.
GET A GRIP ON YOUR FORTUNATE EXISTENCE!!!
AYE??
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmuah!!
hehhee
see, i HAD to say SUMTHIN!! i just HAD to!! you can't hold me responsible for the insanity that i am. you CANNOT!!
such a LOVELY picture.
SO TALENTED!!
5 Feb 2005, 4:21pm
:D been a while since i've done this...replied dat is...:D
@baap : the right chappal was tendin towards the shadow...:D
@hs: >:D< to u too..
@Syko : u got the digicam LOST! :-L busturd.
@lcm : who u be? /:)
@md: hiiiiiiii!!! how u doin?
@blur : i had fun. more fun. and then some MORE fun.! :D
@SIC : biyatch. tramp biyatch. love u too! :D >:D< insane f_kka! :D
12 Feb 2005, 10:48pm
:-/ Funny family.
ooooh.. so this time the Chennai trip was not about Saarang, eh? Useless guest-house occupant >:p
ps: nice pic, but the weed would have kicked u higher ... b-)
12 Feb 2005, 10:52pm
oh btw, some useless fucks beat BOTH of us at the Creative Writing contest!!! :O:O And to think that i was paid to dish out such material .. :((
13 Feb 2005, 3:50am
Welcome back, Payne! I missed you :)
16 Feb 2005, 3:42pm
@CN : they BEAT US ??! the collective strength of the stalwarts of fullhyd?!? umm..ok..that might not mean much after all wud it? :D f_kkas! i say! flog them! castrate the lot i say!! burn 'em down! go freedom of expression! go go go! . ok. done. interestingly, a certain triple-K person won d creative writing contest..:D something to learn there perhaps? :D
@Jaan : heylo! not sure i missed u! :p i'm on a mad high right now..so laait to everythin i say! :P
19 Feb 2005, 7:55pm
Damn Dood nice slippers and an even nicer beach dat:P
5 Mar 2005, 1:25pm
?????????!!!!!!!!!!
5 Mar 2005, 1:26pm
?????????!!!!!!!!!!