So like. I have like these interviews you know. For these B-schools, so I really feel I should post on my blog as to how they go about these this helps me prep for this, like, very biiggg interview you see. This is like a really real version n all..i swear n all dat...:-S

  March 06th, 1:00AM. Payne's world.

I step into the room and place my file containing mostly Victoria Silvstedt pics on the desk.

3 Panelists, 1 Old chap(OC), 1 Young professor(YL), 1 lanky bearded prof(L).

Old chap takes my file n starts to flip through.

Lanky starts the questions>>

L : Tell us something about yourself.
Well, I'm 5'8" tall, I'm short-haired fairly not-well-built, wheatish complexion. I like to wear jeans usually but today I've worn this tie n ironed stuff 'coz I'm tryin out the metrosexual look today. Other than this, I like Chinese food and I realllly love Kentucky Fried Chicken too, sir. Now coming to my academics, my school-life was varied and equally lets not get into that ok? My college life was decent n all wid me totally bein da dude in da hood if ya know what i mean..ya' strengths are my ability to burp completely on demand and in quick succession and to eat anything on the planet, i'm also very creative and self-motivated. I'm a good team player..and all that jazz ya'know. when it comes to weaknesses, i hav too much facial hair and i tend to be quite irritating at i can see u twitchin...hmm..and this one time, in band camp...

YP: Payne, we would like to remind you this is a formal interview, so please stick to formal english and do not use colloquial language..thanks.
Sorry sir, my sincere apologies.

YP: Good, now why do you think your a good team player?
Well at parties sir..I tend to eat all the leftovers. Now that is what I call dedication and team playing skills sir.

L: Creative?
Obviously sir. Can't you gauge that I'm creative by the answers so far? (*rolls eyes*)

L: Self-motivated. Can u state examples?
Yes sir, since my childhood I was always the first one to learn new things sir, all by myself. From picking my nose artfully to peeling off skin skilfully to burping gleefully, I've done it all sir.

YP: Do you think this is funny Payne? Are you making a mockery of this?
No sir. I don't think so. Infact, I don't think much sir, thats another strength.

Old chap looking through the file...: hmm..


L: What are your short-term goals?
See sir, I've had clear-cut goals at all times in my life. My shortest-term goal right now is to ensure that I get into your institute. My shorter-term goal is to ensure that I in some miraculous way end up with a 7.0/8.0 GPA by the end of my course. My short-goal is to be placed in a Day Zero company so I may have good financial backing for my long-term goals.

L: What are your long-term goals?
As I've already mentioned my goals are always clear. In the long run, I wish to shift to any company which offers me good financial backing for my longer-term goals. My longer-term goals being to own as many as 3 luxury cars, a Smart Roadster and build a house in which I have life-like velociraptor dinosaur robots. Going very long, I want to be in a situation where I can slowly expand my Jurassic Park concept residence to a Lost World aspect where in I can bring wide elephant-grass lawns and the like, I'd also like to upgrade to a Tyrannosaurus Rex robot in my older days. 

L: Why management then? Why this line of career? Why not robotics itself?
Sir, as I've so neatly outlined it above (*smirks*), I want one important thing in my life. Job satisfaction. How do I get it? By ensuring that I'm in a company which offers me Job Satisfaction and also good financial backing. This is also to say, that I want a lot of time and money in my life, sir. Also, my temperament is best suited to management and I revel working under set deadlines and never shy away from taking up a good challenge and all that shiz. In addition to this an managerial position is very flexible so I can easily shift from one job to the other whichever gives me more financial backing.

YP: hmmm...What is this temperament of yours?
Sir, I'm extremely motivated to live a life of leisure and luxury and in order to cater to this temperament, I require a MBA or PGDBM or whatever you foggies like to call it. Mind you, not just an MBA, a PGDB** from an IIM is what I wish to have. Frankly speaking, (*smirks n looks around*), how many of you have time and money huh? Huh?

L: Why should we take you?
'Coz you wish to revel in the vicarious pleasure of seeing me earn, earn and earn. Yes.

L: We see...what do you know about Ahmedabad?
It is a city to which I'll go to incase I end up with an admit into the IIM-A. Oh yes, it also is home to the premier insti of mgmt. of India.

L: Is that all?
Not really sir, Ahmedabad is also in Maharashtra or some Gujju state close to it...hmmm.

YP: What do you know about Indian history during the medieval times?
I know that I wish I knew about Indian history sir..during whatever times u ask..ah well.

YP: So you don't know?
No sir, I did not say that. I wish I are digressing...I might know sir.

L n YP: HUh?
I beg your pardon sir, could you repeat that question?

Old chap :hmmm...(deep in concentration perusing contents of d file)

YP: So Payne, what is a bootstrap circuit?
Sir, its a wearable device sir. innit?

YP: No. :|
oh i see. sir anything else you wish to ask?

YP: What is a diode?
Sir, its a technique used to kill a poem wait its a chant..get it? Die ode die ode..:-S

YP: What is a triode then?
Sir, its a situation in which you are trying to write a poem sir...innit?

YP: What is a thyristor?
Sir, you are pronouncing it wrong sir..its a thigh-twister, you see its an exercise apparatus to tone your thighs (*looks under table*) which I must say need some toning alright!

OC: did very well in Chemistry in your 11th class..Payne, what is a Buckminster Fullerene?
Now now sir, that is hardly the language to use in a formal interview...tch tch.

OC: You've done a course in Financial Management...what do you remember? hmmmmmm...
Well sir, the lecturer had a really wet patch on his bum at all times and he used to spit a lot sir.

L: What is this spit? Why is there saliva?
Sir its a way of perspiration sir, see if you spit realllly big puddles you don't sweat. This is another thing I've learnt completely self-motivated, sir. As for saliva, our bodies have very high content of water sir, so there has to be some liquid somewhere no sir? At this point, I'd like to mention juicy fried KFC hmmm....juicy...mmmmmm..

YP: Thank you. Do you have any questions for us?
Yes sir, do you always wear such geeky glasses sir? also, can I show my burping prowess? I've heard that you ask candidate to sing...

In unison: No. You may leave now. OC hands me the file reluctantly.


dats it folks..simpil innit? :D



Current Mood: Dumb
Current Music: the new 7Up jingle playin in my head right now..hmmm