all about me, of course!
To tell, or not to tell
allsmiles | 09 March, 2005 12:34
Truth, they say, is stranger than fiction.
She always hated New Years. As far as she cared it was always the coldest time of the year. It was always another milestone she had crossed without having anything added against her name , no material possessions, no plum job, no masters degree, no boyfriend, no husband nothing. Re-runs of all her friends'/well-wishers' "You cant go on living your life like this, year after year" would play havoc on her mind. She conviniently managed to mute them earlier. But this time they would be too loud to ignore. She would just say "But ....", words would fail after that. She always wanted to fill in the blanks that anyone, more importantly she could understand.
Well this New Years was way too different in ways beyond her imagination. On the New years days the cell rings and Caller ID displays (No Number). Generally appears for International numbers. She presumes its either her brother or cousin from the U.S. of A. The familiar spreading of good-will and cheer that often happens during the New Year(and other festive occasions) when people try to bridge whatever gaps of distance and time they can and go a little out of their way to show that they still remember and care. So having the usual pleasantries queued up in her mind she answers the call.
A female voice with a tinge of doubt. "Is it xxxx?". "Yes", she replies doubtfully.
The bubbly enthusiasm and cheerfulness resurface in an instant. "Thank God its you! Its me Rxxx! Actually I wasnt sure! Happy New Year to you! How are you doing?". Rxxx didnt actually give her a chance to talk. It was only when Rxxx stopped for a breath could she wriggle her way into the conversation.
Her thoughts took a nostalgic turn. Rxxx was an ex-colleague of hers. Well actually they got to be good friends after Rxxx left the job and even the country and somehow found herself in a stack of maple leaves during fall. Rxxx was married and she was single but they still managed to find time to spend in coffee-pubs passing judgement of each and every new coffee drink, window-shopping, exchanging recipes, discussing bargains, clothes, patterns, tailors and how they ended up driving any lady up the wall. Occasionally movies, music and books also would pop up. More importantly whenever they met they always lost track of time.
After the initial exchange of animated greetings and all, Rxxx asks, "How is Aunty?". A somewhat awkward silence ensues. Her mother was hospitalised three days before the New Year. She was caught in two minds. To tell or not to tell? Finally she tells her of all that happened and how it all started with a lump and an operation and maybe in the subsequent weeks there would be the dreaded chemo-therapy. She could sense shock in Rxxx's "Oh My God!" Which was so different from the regualar one that went in a sing song fashion with a shortened "my" between prolonged 'Ooooh' and 'God'.
An unusual helplessness in Rxxx's voice. "Actually you know my mother is undergoing treatment for liver failure and gallbladder stones and has weakened a whole lot after that. She is not able to eat anything." Man! It wasnt fair! They were actually supposed to exchange nice things and now .... messages of hope and prayer are also nice and reassuring too. But people do not want to find themselves on the receiving end of those too.
The call finally ends on a more sombre and hopeful note ...looking forward to a speedy recovery of all concerned. She looks out of the hospital window ... and hopes the next visitor would care to do an impression of Patch Adams. Hospitals, she feels are very serious and at times depressing places. She wonders how doctors can manage to work there all the time. She wonders how they can balance indifference and care. She wonders if doctors, like others, prayed for the good general health of mankind.
......... to be continued
Quote :
If each of us can be helped by science
to live a hundred years, what will it profit
us if our hates and fears, our loneliness
and our remorse will not permit us to
enjoy them?
-- David Neiswanger
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1[No Subject]
Aran | 09/03/2005, 23:43
Hmmm... ok, you've snagged my attention.
[No Subject]
me | 10/03/2005, 01:19
Looking frwd to posting it too, Vj :)
Aran, guess I managed to do that after a long time ..:)
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[No Subject]
Vj | 09/03/2005, 15:00
...looking fwd to reading part 2 :)