The continuation...to another beginning now.
"someday u'll look back on this day and laugh" - syko, April 11th, 1:36PM.
Here's hoping I'll laugh, atleast smile happily. Not this wry smile, no. April 12th now, 5 days of bringing together of all of the pieces of this nightmarish jigsaw puzzle. Every piece neatly falling into place for me to sit back n gaze at this wonderful collage of broken dreams. Its been 24hrs now since the last nail has been clinically driven into my coffin of CAT 2005.
To those who've been following this blog, (how could u miss it? 8-| ) you'd know that I'd managed to end up with some of 'em B-School calls. Well, now that the entire second phase of admissions has been wrapped up, here's me telling y'all out there that I, Payne, ain't going nowhere. :| There's a post down in this page which mentions certain alphabets like A,B,C,K,I. Well they are all gone now. 'cept for a waitlist at IIM-K that is. Its been an interesting 4 days, a time when I've realised that the T9 prediction for the words 'selection' and 'rejection' is the same thing. When I typed out that dreaded word and saw how good the other word looked beside the letters IIMs A,B,C,I. ah well. A time I'll remember for a long long while. So there, 4 rejects and one waitlist. Looks cute doesn't it?
The good : Its been a grand 4 months, of going by tankbund every other day; of learning to say "let me complete"; of learning to be assertive, to put out my thoughts in a structured manner; of readin' up about daily affairs around the world and in my own backyard; of actually goin' back n readin stuff abt electronic and communications engineering; of living life like i knew it 4 years back - with a book in my hand n a dream in my head; of crammin' in my project, GD classes, college, and the best part of my life all in 24 hrs; of realising that Alexander came before Jesus and that the first words of the Constitution are We, the people; of looking forward and trying to keep it real; of sitting there @IIM-B room nos K-12, M-13 and facing 'em profs; of seeing Sorry!; of me.
The bad : None at all. No regrets. Surprisingly :D.
The ugly : Maybe the results..hmmm..wtf! Why do I have the ugly category in here? :|
As I said, no regrets. I've been there, faced 'em, had fun. I gave it my best shot or atleast believe I have. Still coming to grips with the fact that I ain't making it to any of 'em and that I am actually waiting for a waitlist to clear. Never thought it'd come down to this. Never thought I'd be posting in a thread which went by the title "dejected and rejected" or even "highest %ile with no IIM calls". :D But hey, bloody life's unpredictable wottsay?:D Am I gonna give it another shot? Hell yeah! Shall do something to make me CV look jataak, something other than wearing yellow shirts with revolt stamped on 'em or even placin' blogging as my #1 hobby. :-p
I guess it is just as much about the journey as it is about the destination. Sadly I never got to get meself onto that wide_arse expressway out there, but its been absolutely great to be on this road, the road to one of 'em B-schools that is. Life goes on, but then this bloody VLSI won't. :| Onto my endsems now, onto living life like 'nother of one of those stoopid engineers out there. :-)
Payne
PS : kk, who cares? I don't know but I sure as hell hope that most of y'all other bloggers out there aren't bloggin' cuz u think somebody out here actually cares. Now that would be something. =))
PPS : Fat Freddie's Cat and bull, whoever you are, this is your time to come out and have a blast. drp's official invitation. :D
Engineers rock btw. :D
Current Mood: Feeling Better
Current Music: Metallica - Ecstasy of gold
12 Apr 2005, 8:56pm
@syko : that was like the bestest thing said ..ever !:-d
@drp : again i say ..u have NOTHING to be sad about..:-| ..but this post i like..:) live off life n all ..be sad..crazy ..maniacal and happy ..live off ..:-p >:d< :)
12 Apr 2005, 8:57pm
just wanted to say ...I got here first!!!! ..\:d/ ..:-p
12 Apr 2005, 10:23pm
Sorry abt it m8.but I think the last 4 months esp the gd/pi classes et al would have been a great learning experience.but nice to know u have no regrets.(hope u remember my post..me felt the same way).anywayz,all the best for K.cheers!!
13 Apr 2005, 9:38am
Someone great said - "Aim for the Moon! Even if you don't reach it, you'll fall among the stars"
Or it was just some screwed up psycho muttering in his sleep, or its me searching for a nice quote to put in here..(Eh?)
Point is, I still dunno the rigors faced by people writing CAT and its after-effects, the interviews, GDs and shit.
But I sure PRESUME you gave it your best. And that's what matters in the end. There IS something called FAIRNESS (Nope. Not what you're thinking) in life. It'll come and strike you sooner or later.
So, all the best for K, or whatever you do. And yeah. Engineers do ROCK.
13 Apr 2005, 10:01am
forgot to ask.What could have been the reason for u not making it?
13 Apr 2005, 11:11am
Hey Boss,
I have read your blog on and off and have always enjoyed the irreverent streak that runs through it. Keep that alive... Everyone has a phase in their life when they feel exactly the way you are doing now.. at least i did. Trust me, its all so worth it, the excitement and the pain... they all eventually add up to something really grand. Just hang on dude, you will reach where you wanna be... All the best
13 Apr 2005, 4:37pm
aww i'm sorry about this :(, i was rooting for you. as rachel once said to joey, honey, i don't know if this means anything to you, but you'll always be pre-approved with us.
(thoughtful pause by joey)
naah, it doesn't really mean anything
:P
ps - you're still adorable
13 Apr 2005, 5:55pm
i like this part. veddy much. ze replyin_to_ze_comments bit.. :D
>>hs : \:D/ indeed..livin off life indeed...:) u always get hea first..:D
>>cc : thanks mayte..as for ur question, who knows? :) honestly, who does?! i had quite an inconsistent acad record swingin like a wild pendulum frm ze 90s to da 60s..:D there's a good enuff reason if u ask me!
>>manDboy : ayya..felt off? :)) look at ze kiddo all grown up..:p all best wishes accepted.
>>Ashish : glad to see u here..thank you. and all the best to u too, a new phase in ur life kickin off now innit? :D
>>williamtold : ok. i HAVE to know who are these critters runnin abt me blog callin' me adorable..dammit..:-L but i'll let u go cuz u made one goood friends' quote..u bt? :| thanks for d rooting, i'm sure those are d screams i keep hearin' at night. :| :-L
13 Apr 2005, 7:03pm
Sad to hear you didnt make it. Know a lot of ppl who didn't. Looks like iim screwed up their selection this time! Nice blog though. First time in here.
13 Apr 2005, 8:32pm
well, bah. humbug also. just l'thaat.
syko.
PS: knowin as i do that you dont need to buy a copy of the syko_autobiography, i can only say >
'bah, humbug. trust and hav faith, and this too shall pass.'
13 Apr 2005, 9:27pm
i am, in fact, the poster formerly known as bt. but however did you guess? don't tell me no one else has called you adorable within earshot, cos that's just sad. i mean, LOOK at you
also, i hear iim grads end up never having any sex, like ever. this is why they're so highly paid, to make it worth their while to get out of bed. i have this on good authority.
13 Apr 2005, 9:31pm
look at me yakking away, when actually i wanted to say: have you been to theonion.com?
i'm not sure it's your type, not being sure what type you are - apart from adorable - so i'm just passing this on because this little url almost always cheers me up
13 Apr 2005, 10:20pm
aww that's a shame, darlin. but clearly bigger and better things await you.
14 Apr 2005, 12:33pm
@ Devil : Nice blog? :D wowee..:D U shud drop in more often..i always like 'em fans...:-" :D
@syko : I QUOTED YOU!!!! umm..quote all noted n all.
@wt nee bt : NEE BT!!=)) i crack myself up! :p ha! i'm goood at this ain't i! :D u wudn't be referring to dat IIM grad u know wud u? yes i shall indeed go there.
@patch : bt got u here dint she now? look at ya guys, ole friends bunchin together to pain da payne..:D btw, how would u be doing????
14 Apr 2005, 12:38pm
btw...ME ON DA FRONT PAGE AGAIN!! weehoo!! :D
wud it be bt's doin' i wonder? :D or another of 'em IIM grad's...hmmm../:-)
well. 3rd time it is. Payne now officially rules FHblogs.
immodestme.
Payne
14 Apr 2005, 4:40pm
Sorry mate!! But good to see you in high spirits!!!
14 Apr 2005, 6:34pm
I just hope that the high spirits are not spirits themselves. :|
15 Apr 2005, 12:53pm
Ayyoooo....
yennyways,
Life is a bitch.
Shit Happens.
Hence lot of fucking and crapping.
but importantly, learn to drown your sorrows in alcohol.
and more importantly, call me when doing the above stated.
yah... your life surely does suck :p
(psst.. applied any place else?)
15 Apr 2005, 12:56pm
...and another irreverant comment.
Was doing the annual desk-tidying procedure at my place recently and guess what? Voila! i still have your first year Chem Text bk!:O:O
shall try returning it over one of these days 8-|
**reminds self to kick start "Here I come, CAT!" post in own blog** :|
15 Apr 2005, 6:11pm
@jasz : its totally fine hea in payne's world..:D
@johnny : n no its not cuz of any alcoholic influence. to put it articulately :p.
@CN : f__ u n johnny! :D how do u drown non-existent sorrows i say? /:) btw, free-riding bitch! gimme my chem book..for ...umm..me to lend it more futchas..:-S