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15 Apr 2005

Abyss

Posted by Pye in Poetry | 9:54pm


Skirting around
the spaces between
Smoothly surround
the void unseen

Eggshells they are
emotions displayed
Pale yellow scar
where dues were paid

Evil intent
exactly we hit
Laying torment
making the split

Foes are we now
rivals tonite
Bitter words plough
garbed polite

What was it then
what is it here
What is it when
we polish the spear

Thirsting for gore
and wanting distress
We aim, we score
gleeful finesse

Skirting around
the spaces between
Burial mound
a macabre scene



Current Mood: Vicious
Current Music: Gary A - Loving You Against My Will


5 Comments | "Abyss" »

  1. By drp

    15 Apr 2005, 11:57pm [ Reply ]

    Welcome back.

    How is it ovah there in da Twilight Zone?

  2. By blur

    17 Apr 2005, 10:28pm [ Reply ]

    i think awesome wld be redundant in my comments on this blog but then again AWESOME

  3. By Pye

    17 Apr 2005, 11:40pm [ Reply ]

    Thanks drp. Ahh well, it's ..well... dark in here. :p

    And blur, thank you. You flatter me. :)

  4. By Vincent

    18 Apr 2005, 1:47pm [ Reply ]

    Nice work pye. I read the comments on my blog, so here are some from me:
    You need to punctuate the sentences. A poem is not just the name of a writing style (i.e. you cannot just center align some text to make it a poem). The sentences above are fragments, and not complete sentences. Punctuation will also help you to justify the tone and theme better. :)

  5. By Pye

    18 Apr 2005, 9:11pm [ Reply ]

    Good point Vincent. Guilty as charged.

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