Like Duh!!!

Dudets and members of the unfairer sex(dudes) if u thought the above title thingy meant "dude the dude has the wrong shoe on his right foot" u are dead-on my friend. Anyways a few weeks ago my right foot or my left shoe ,who-ever was the cause of the problem was giving me a real crappy time.

The shit went down like so........
Event 1: ma niggas place(The origin of the affliction)
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Nigga: Dude come on hurry up we gotta catch the beginnin of the movie...
Dude(me): Wait up dude i gotta put my shoes on....
Nigga: We'r running 5 mins late and u have to put on ur dumbass strappy sandals on!
Dude:Oh yeah well ur nike shoes are dumbasses too(read as a failed attempt at an insult
to his shoes)
Nigga: Come on hussle up.
Dude: Im done(and something felt weird)
Nigga: Why r u walking all strange n stuff.
Dude: (looking down at my feet) shit i have my left shoe on the right foot.
Nigga: F***ing dumb**** u elephant's ****, U unbelievabale nimcampoop.
Dude: hehehehehehehehe u said elephant's ****.


Event (2-264): Ma tour o the houses to invite ppl to ma cous's weddin
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House dude 1: Duuuudes wassup with yo dad(but much more formal in nature)?
House dudet 1: Wasssup with ur mom?
Juniour House Dude 1: Wassup dude?
Dude: Im fine wassup with ur sis man(prospective girl friend A.K.A Juniour House Dudet 1)
House **** 1(everyone): Get out of the f***ing house.
Dude: (So i throw the invitation card in thier face and we (me and my nigga) start to run (well we planned with the how's ur sis question that we'd be touring much more houses 10 times as fast as the other teams))
Nigga: Dude hussle up they're comin with a weird looking stick thingy with weird looking crap on the end and a definitely weird looking expression on their face.
Dude: Yeah im just getting done with my shoes.
Nigga: hurry man they're almost on top of us.
Dude: shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!!!!!!!!!
Nigga: What?!
Dude: Right foot wrong shoe!
Nigga: No! AAAAAh! It was'nt my idea stop hitting me, AAAAAh! that damn thing really hurts Ouch!(sort o a girly shout) It was all his idea AAAAAh! no no not there....AAAAAAAAA!

.......
.......
.......
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After 264 houses and one badly bruised set of balls later ma nigga collapsed from the all the beatings and we had to call it a day.

Then i felt something was seriously wrong with either my left shoe or my right foot. Then i suddenly realized it might be "Alien limb syndrome" and shuddered. "Alien limb syndrome" is where ur limbs do crap that u never wanted them to do. I was suddenly preoccupied with the overwhelming thought of my own right leg trying to kick me in the balls. It was too much to take so i decided to take radical steps to cure my illness.

Diagnosis
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First i had to examine the problem at hand. So i looked what's happenin. It seemed whenever i was messing around with somethin my left shoe would end up on my right foot. Presented in exhibit A.

In the above example u'll notice that my right foot and my left shoe or sandle or whatever have unhealthy relationship. If its a sandle its not so uncomfortable but if its a shoe it hurts. And for the blind ppl out there here's another close up.



So i had to cure it and so the brain tinkered..

Prognosis 1: Intimidation by violence
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I decided to scare and threaten my left shoe. So hired a mob to kick its ass all over town(my local band of little hooligans). They kicked the shit out of it for like an eclairs each and by the time it got back man was it in a really bad shape....

I eventually decided that maybe destroying all the left legged footwear i have would'nt be such a good idea.
And then i had a brilliant idea (i know im like a factory of gr8 ideas)

Prognosis 2(birlliant idea): Grossness factor by odour
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I decided rather than scaring of the shoes i'd gross them out by wearing "really really really stinky socks". Well as it turned out the "really really really stinky socks"


Grossed out not only my left shoe but also my right shoe and all the earthly creatures that could sense an objects stinkiness.

So onto cure number 3.

Prognosis 3: Eradication of the Problem
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This was from the radical chinese school of thought where u remove that which causes the problem. Well as it turned out the chinese line of thought was a really shitty one cause some things like setting ur right foot on fire just arent good ideas at all.



Final Prognosis: Aaaaaaaaaaaah! my right foot feels so good
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Well as it turned out the cure was as simple as the problem. I simply decided to start with my left foot from now on and as it turned out my left foot knew perfectly well what shoe it was supposed to get in to and the poor right foot had to get into what ever was left out which was the right shoe. So finally the problem was solved.

What did i do immediately after i cured it

Houese 264-536 for invitations
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Only this time we were able to run the F off in time.


I know many of u dont believe me and for the cynical lot among u here is my convincing explanation. And those of u have experienced something similar or anything at all leave a comment.



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