enigma | General | 03 September 2005, 11:12am
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Welcome to the world of new age thought Enigma.
Its is said that art and thought both beautiful alike are born out of hurt, and i would like to welcome a fellow thinker.
hi Enigma.Life i indeed cruel.Those moments that have passed by cannot be regained.If those are Happy ones,thinking back upon the will make us more happy.But if they are sad ones,reminescing abt them will only make us sadder.
"Familiarity breeds contempt", and thats what happened to you enigma. The friends whom you cared for and listened to all along just look at you as a doormat once they enter other areas of life.
This is one of the levels of selfishness I have observed in some of my close friends, including my former best friend in high school.
In programming lingo, I would term myself as a "temporary variable" whenever this happened. A temporary variable is used as a smaller intermediate vessel in order to help bigger vessels get filled with what they really want and need.
They come to you when they need help and are depressed. But once they are over all that, they party with their old "friends" - who wouldn't care a bit when they were in trouble - and then your so-called-friends don't even turn your way.
The last time someone behaved like this was a couple of years ago. I stood up for a friend who was being trampled upon; everybody else watched, some gave 'practical' advice, others said 'oh forget it', and I was the only one who did something including threatening to sue the person troubling my friend. Well guess what! My friend got over that situation successfully (mostly because of my threat to sue the offender). My friend suddenly gained a lot of other friends - the other guys who were watching the whole show muted - and he became a party freak. Within a couple of weeks, I became the bad guy and this 'friend' got annoyed at me because I was not 'very friendly' with his new friends!
Oh darn, I just won't help any desi ever again, especially if he's being kicked in the guts by another desi. Who knows... they may become friends again and kick me in the face together. All the good that you do vanishes in thin air and you are a bad guy, or a nobody... well... until the next time he needs help and calls you up with a new problem!
Hey, you're a human being, not a permanent shoulder to cry on. These kind of incidents used to hurt a lot initially, but I got over this gradually. Not everyone is nice in this world.
Arul, I feel sorry you had to experience that.
On the brighter side, you got one less sicko in your life.
One thing life taught me is that people always change. They will be friends today and foes tomorrow. You will be easier on yourself if you accept and adjust to peoples' changes.
Don't expect much from people, you will enjoy their company more.
One more thing, I would like to encourage you to not categorize desis. They are as virtuous and vile as any other in this world.
Good wishes.
Thanks freshair! I guess all of us would have experienced this at some point or the other.
And yes, I shouldn't be categorising desis, its just that everything something like this happens, it happens with a desi.
I posted only one instance of someone gunning me down. Its happened a lot before with friends and cousins and many others I know.
The reason I categorised desis was that I have a lot of friends of all races, Pacific-Asian (mostly Chinese, Filipino), Arabs, Americans, Europeans, Australians, etc., but I rarely had an experience of this sort with them. I don't have anything against Indians; in fact some of my closest friends are Indians. Probably my feelings boiled down to the stereotype that I was getting used to, regarding these kind of incidents.
Of course, I will stand up and fight for any friend who is being beaten down; I just won't expect him to do the same. If that friend happens to belong to any of the groups with which I had my bad experiences, let him fight his own fight. Who knows, within no time, he may patch up with the other guy because they belong to the same community or caste, and I'll be reseated in my dock!
Take care mate.
"The irony is.. the people about whom you did not care enough